brissydeb

when we told our parents we were thinking of emigrating to oz they were all very supportive. my mum has been a bit funny since. Has anyone else experienced this? How do you overcome it?

manxfamily

Time is a great healer, just give her time and reassure her that you love her. That worked for us, we kept our family up to date all the time, but if they looked a bit overwhelmed sometimes we kept it all a little more low key, be excited and don't feel too guilty remember this is your future. And what a fantastic holiday opportunity for the family.

Rosie Cheeks

Your Mum probably thinks she won't see you again. That must hurt.

yvsie

My mum was full supportive of our decision when we told her we were coming. I dont think it hit her until we were about to leave really.

Still doesnt stop me from feeling guilty for leaving my mum.
She wont move here and we're 3 years on now. I have an older brother still in England and she wont leave him behind. Those feelings are always there despite how long you are here (in my case anyway).
BUT I chose to come and dont regret it (99 % of the time). If mum becomes ill at any time we will have to deal with it.

You make your choice- you live with your decision - you deal with your feelings -simple

CathnPaul

we are in the same boat. My dad has given us his full blessing, but we dont talk about australia to mum. we have discussed it with dad and I know he will get her through dealing with it.Have you tried going through someone else to support her through it???

CasG

My Mum was incredibly upset when I first told her...My Dad was more understanding having turned down an opportunity to emigrate to the States through the American Airforce....it took her a long time to come to terms with it, and was threatened with being withdrawn from her Will, told that I was abandoning her etc....but after about a year, she came round to the idea, and now , after two years of me being here....fully supports the move.
I have been back once to see them, and plan to go back next year - esp as my Dad is not well ....and in the meantime, she is coming over at the end of this November for just over 3 weeks and is very excited.
To be honest, I'm not looking forward to her leaving again, as I know she'll be upset, but will tell her of my plan to go back for a bit next year ...and that should soften the blow.

Give her time, as others have said....she needs to know that you are alright...
Cas

Simba

My mother in law is really excited about us going, keeps saying she is coming out for a 3 month holiday each year I,ve told her the maximum holiday visa she can get is 1 month .

mad.chef

Hello all
well i could go on for a long time telling you . my wifes mom and dad was ok a little bit funny. but said it was our lives . but my wifes mom has been there a few times to see her sister.
but my mom and dad well when i told them that we was thinking of moveing away they were happy but when i said australia WELL sh** hit the fan. its to far we will not see the granchildren for years or never. why do we want to do it whats better over there the grass is not greener . haha i could go on. still dont speak to them about it to much 1half years on. only can sort of speak to my dad. some times we do feel guilty . but we have got to do we should get the visa by xmas and then the pain starts (MOM DAD WE GOT OUR VISA } what never mind
all the best
Dave

Deadmeat

Tricky, my Mum was fairly supportive but obviously sad to see me go especially with a grandchild on the way and my prospective wife that she hadn't even met. We started we promises of regular emails and phone calls and I left her an old laptop for the purpose and gave her some training on how to use it.

My wife and I are also on a 2 year visit schedule so every other year we will go back to the UK for at least 3 weeks and catch-up. We did this for the first time in June and it was hard leaving again but once she saw how happy I was with my 'new' life she was happy for me and my family.

My mother isn't one for travel (hardly been outside of Kent) so it is unlikely she will come out here but the offer is there and she knows that money would not be an issue if she really wanted to visit.

Most of my old mates have fallen by the wayside but I still keep in touch with a couple (one is coming out for the second time soon) and if anything the distance has made the friendship stronger.

Time and regular contact is the key I guess but nothing will really soften the impact for either party.

When all is said and done it is only 24 hours away, if you need to get back for whatever reason you will.

Good Luck,
Matt

Britishaussie

Same here. In-laws are great about it and can't wait for us to go so they can have free holidays, but my parents are so against it they won't even speak to me about it and it's got to the stage now where I can't even broach the subject. They'll have to face it sooner or later when we actually sell the house and make preparations to leave. I suppose they're in denial and it's their way of dealing with it. We are taking their only grandchildren and I think they'll miss them more than they'll miss me. I don't understand why they're so against it because they did exactly the same thing when they were young. They emigrated over there in 1965, left all their families behind in a time when visitors couldn't just jump on a plane and be there in a day. It was a 6 week boat trip. They stayed there for 4 years, had us 3 kids and then came back to the UK (never having taken up citizenship which rules out their chances of ever coming to live with us). My mother hated it and made my dad come back by blackmail (threatening to go on her own and leave us all behind). Maybe they're drawing on their own experiences, but I just thought that because they'd done it themselves they'd be more understanding about it, but that's not the case. They have also said they won't visit us but we'll see.

CathnPaul

the mum dad we got our visa bit is the bit I am absolutely dreading, more than telling them we were emigrating. It was hard enough telling them I had passed the skills assessment!!!

mad.chef

Hello all
well thats exactly whats going on with me. my two kids are there only granchildren and my mom and dad have only been out of the uk once on a plane and that was for 2 hrs and my mom hated it . can you imagine what a 23 hrs flight will be like for her aararar never mind. my mom and dad was going to live in canada but they never went in the end.we allso have 2 dogs and they love them to bits and have allways had dogs but when we told them we are going to oz my dad said we are not haveing your dogs araraar but i think they will have one and my brother the other i hope
all the best
Dave

brissydeb

Thanks for the replies guys! I'm hoping it will get easier with time.........