Streaks

ah well, just hope he's caught the little buggers too

TiddlyPom

LOL. I think we might all have them....

Have you seen my hair? Oh no!

No battles here, just a sad day we're trying to keep sane.

penky

that sounds a nice way that you told her, all relaxed and natural

they pick their moments those pesky little bandits don't they! funnily enough I noticed my stepdaughter had them whilst I was in the blue mountains last , its you mountain people isn't it!!

TiddlyPom

Yes, we keep our hair too clean.

TiddlyPom

I'm thinking of making hot chocolate and cookies... and then we'll all sit down and have a chat, with the little one on my knee... .

I don't know how else to do it.

asher

sounds a good plan to me

TiddlyPom

Ok... Did anyone write a rule book on this or is it a 'make it up as you go along' thing?

There's definitely a gap in the market.

CarolineW

Looks like you have just written it. You have had a tough time and are getting there really well. I don't envy you one bit.

Staff

Sounds like a plan to me. There's no easy way to do it, but as long as they come out of it knowing (and believing in their bones) that it aint their fault and you both still love THEM (and always will) even if you don't love each other anymore then you'll weather the storm.

Good luck

Staff

TiddlyPom

Gotta keep focussed on the bigger picture... the future...

I think that's the only way.

asher

don't think you can write a book on this because different people and children need different approaches and usually mum knows best

quoll

Hugs to you and congratulations on raising a sensitive and aware daughter.

Sounds like you are doing it just fine but can only concur with what Staff said - just be sure to make it very clear that it was nothing they said or did, just that the grown ups decided they didnt want to be together any more but that you both love them just as much as you ever did. Little kids often get the wrong end of the stick and I have worked with kids who have thought it was their fault because they didnt keep their rooms tidy or they bashed their little brother. They probably wont know what questions to ask just now and will probably be much more concerned about whether it is time to go out and play with the dog. They will probably come back to you for clarification at times when you least expect it.

Good luck with it! (And remember that if they are having a hard time of it and they are at school, the school counsellor is a good person to talk to about some things you may be able to do)

TiddlyPom

Thanks Quoll. Good points.

Luckily they're in an excellent school and I've been able to alert them so they're expecting this. I know they will be wonderfully supportive.

I've told the eldest and will tell the others that this is not their fault... that their incredible human beings and wonderful children... and that this is an adult thing that maybe they can't understand now but they will do in the future...
I also said we needed to really show them how to be loved and to love and that we were setting a lousy example right now... and that we didn't want to do that. I also said this isn't a fighting thing, that other kids have, where their parents hate each other... that this is just a 'something gone' thing and that it's no-one's fault, just something that happens in relationships sometimes.

Eldest seems ok. She actually said this would be 'interesting' and that 'change is good'...

She's surprised me.

esperanza

Bless her, she must have known how unhappy you've been for ages. This is probably a relief for her.

TiddlyPom

It's a relief for me so far...

I'm dreading this but suspect it will be ok.