Originally Posted by scottishcelts

I hate the fact that I never once stood on a chair whilst at assembly at school and acted like a gorilla on heat - despite having the urge to, every single time.

Originally Posted by moneypenny20

Have you considered getting some sort of professional help?

Originally Posted by scottishcelts

They tried, poor buggers bloody tried.

Last time I heard, one was sent to an asylum and the other is now a hippy

Originally Posted by Icarus

A few weeks ago I attended a party where I encountered a young man of the most passionate idea. I listened to him as he told upon a concept that was quite fascinating to me – hatred.

What he said enthralled me. He told us that really, once you think about it, there is no reason to ever hate anyone because once you understand that person and begin to imagine the arbitrary events in their lives that have led to their current state of being you really have no genuine rationalization to dislike them. In fact he told us how absurd it was that there were large numbers of people who hated other people that they hadn't even met. He was very fervent and fluent in this belief, except for the times when he had to brush his dreadlocks out of his face or go off to smoke that strange glass pipe.

So I thought to myself if there is no reason to hate someone wouldn't that make it remarkably easy to do it? I mean now I don't need a reason. Instead of waiting for the evolution of a person's country to get to the point where it offends me, now I can start hating them all right off the bat. I can march right up to someone and say, "**** you mister, and the horse you road in on" thus ruining their day, and I won't have to ask myself, "Why on earth did I do that?" The question's been rendered moot.

As for this whole hating-people-you-haven't-met-thing I began to wonder why on earth I hadn't heard of this before. I immediately decided that I was going to jump right into it, full-on because if there's no reason to hate anyone the only cause to go about doing it would be for recreational purposes.

I did this because I needed a hobby. And I didn't want to go in for all that stamp collecting nonsense, or building model airplanes. Instead, I've devoted my spare time to sitting around disliking this person and that one. And I have gotten very good at it.

I'll show you.

The best thing about this hobby is that it requires no purchasing, no organization, or any sort of action at all. You can sit around doing nothing and be hating people you don't know at the same time. You can do it as you're driving to work, as you're sitting on the toilet, or even as you sit around naked on your couch eating pizza. It's sort of like getting a fern as a plant, because you can just put it in the corner and forget about it and weeks later there you'll be, owning a fern. I suppose the reverse of this would be that you can love someone for no reason, but that would probably require lots of medical testing and I think is very illegal in some places. You would also have to start exercising and such, so that's right out.

But there are some guidelines.

For example, racism is prevalent today and there's a lot of people who passionately practice it so you're going to have to pick the people you hate very carefully. The key here is not to go for numbers but for originality. Oh I suppose you can hate black people or Arabs, but I mean it's been done, hasn't it? Everyone seems to hate Arabs or blacks or French people these days and I consider them to be "posers" for the most part. Remember when guys bleaching the front tips of their hair became popular, and then everyone did it and after a while it was no fun anymore? That's what hating black people is like, and it's just boring and pedestrian. Whenever I hear someone say, "I hate black people," I always respond with, "Oh, come on, put some effort into it for God's sake. As for hating the Jews, please that's been popular for thousands of years and is about as original as wearing a hat.

So you're going to have to hate someone pretty new. I, for example, hate Argentinians. Now, I've never been to Argentina and I've never met someone who was, in fact Argentinian, but I can say without hesitating a bit that if I saw one I'd swerve my car towards them and smoosh them, because the hell with those guys. I'm not even sure where Argentina is but that's not going to stop me. I think it's west of Mexico or something and of course it would be because, well, that's Argentinians for you, the putrid swine.

You may wonder why I hate them. But remember, as there's no reason to hate anyone, I can pick any reason I like. I'm not confined here.

So I hate Argentinians because they're a bunch of llama-****ing, poncho-wearing scumbags. I hate the way they have that stupid part in their hair, or the way they drive their fancy metal cars, always zooming around all over the place just as proud as you please. There are probably some mountains in Argentina, and I bet they're stupid, worthless, low-brow, ugly mountains which only a piece of filth like an Argentinian would like. Remember when that Argentinian killed that one guy? You know who wasn't surprised? This guy that's who. I hate the way they eat alpacas or the way they're always standing, oh, look at me.

And no one can counter me for my beliefs either, should I choose to voice them. I just told my friend, "I hate Argentinians," and he said, "I bet you don't hate chimicurri," and I said, "Yes I do," even though I don't know what that is, and he said, "No you don't," and I said, "Yes I do," and then he got bored and left. What's he going to do write me a letter saying YOU LIKE CHIMICHURRI in big font? People who like chimicurri can just go play in traffic for all I care.

It's that easy. And now you don't need any reason to hate people, like those guys who think that what people do with their fun bits and bottoms makes them evil because this big fancy book here says that it's a no-no. There's no big fancy book I need that says I have to hate Argentinians. I just do. Look at me go. Whee. And in the future, maybe there'll be a trend of hating Argentina, and I'll be a trend-setter. Maybe there'll be a day when a goverment sits down and when the subject of Argentina comes up they'll all start grumbling and they'll pass some law that says, "No more water for Argentina, boyo." Maybe the man in the street will come up with some inventive slang for Artentinians, like "murduckles" or "framdlens."

You know what? I hate those damn framdlens. That's right. I said it. Go on, try and censor me. Try and tell me how awful it is to use a word like "framdlens." See if I care, you ponce. In fact, I'm prejudiced against people who don't like the use of the word "framdlens," the mincing, limp-wristed sissies.

And so on.

So there's that option of picking something new and interesting. Pick something other than Argentina, though, because I've staked that claim.

But there's another option, and that option is hating very specific things.

For example, you can hate Italians. Nothing original, nothing new, not particularly interesting, but it's definitely bonafide racism. But here's what I did when I met an Italian person – before hating him, I asked him, "Oh, what part of Italy are you from," and he told me, and then I asked, "What town do you live in," and he told me, and then I asked, "What street do you live on," and he told me, even though he was looking a bit confused at this point, so I asked him where his house was, and he told me, and then I said, "Everyone who lives in your house is a piece of shit. I am racist against people living in your house. They can all go to hell ."

Do you see what I did? Instead of just being lazy about it and hating Italians in general, I started hating Italians from that specific house. It's a revolutionary technique. It's led to several ground-breaking viewpoints, such as the famous "I hate everyone who is currently wearing your clothes" philosophy, or the "I am prejudiced against people who just got the mail, and whom I happened to see doing it" phenomenon, or the ever-popular "I hate people who parked your car in your garage in the past twenty minutes." They're very defined prejudices, and in this way they're brilliant.

So come on, world. Hop aboard the hate-train. It's certainly a growth industry, what with all the violence going on. (Most of it caused by Argentinians.) Stand up and say, "I don't know who you are or what's going on or even if there's anyone else in the room right now, but I sure as hell know that I don't like it very much." Start looking at maps and deciding that this country here just looks nasty, or thinking about skin color and deciding that anyone with that particular shade of skin must be up to no good. Start mentioning in your conversations how you dislike the person who's talking to you right now. In fact, I want all of you to turn to the person closest to you, look them right in the eye, and say, "Hey – **** you buddy, and everyone you know."

It's easy, it's fun, and it's free. Come on, gang. Let's make hate an art-form.

Originally Posted by kelli28

I hate Americans for lots of reasons

1. The way they get overly excited about everything and start whooping and cheering over the slightest little thing.

2. Do they have to talk so loudly! Ffs shut up!

3. The way they have screwed up the English language.

4. Americans on holiday!!! They must be the worst breed of tourists ever!

5. The stupid laws that vary from state to state. You can't drink until your 21 but can own a gun at 16!

6. They are also unsophisticated, fat, lazy, vulgar, greedy, ignorant, stupid, humorless, loud, obnoxious, gum-chewing, gun-toting, bible-thumping, flag-waving, self-centered, and obsessed with celebrities and McDonalds.

I could go but I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it, I need to go lie down now.

Originally Posted by BadgeIsBack

Yes. Thankfully the US is a big place and there are Americans who could pass as Europeans in tastes and style even. I reckon it's easy to take a pot at them but there is a whole segment of American society who could match and infact exceed European expectation - and another segment who are brighter than they look. The rest I could pass on.

Here's one:

Celebrity chefs whose mission statement is to cook simple, basic food. My response:
"Stop wasting my time! I cook that already without any help - I am looking to you to RAISE my game".

Originally Posted by kelli28

I hate Americans for lots of reasons

1. The way they get overly excited about everything and start whooping and cheering over the slightest little thing.

2. Do they have to talk so loudly! Ffs shut up!

3. The way they have screwed up the English language.

4. Americans on holiday!!! They must be the worst breed of tourists ever!

5. The stupid laws that vary from state to state. You can't drink until your 21 but can own a gun at 16!

6. They are also unsophisticated, fat, lazy, vulgar, greedy, ignorant, stupid, humorless, loud, obnoxious, gum-chewing, gun-toting, bible-thumping, flag-waving, self-centered, and obsessed with celebrities and McDonalds.

I could go but I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about it, I need to go lie down now.

Originally Posted by Dorothy

That's ok since all 250 million of them hate you too.

Generalise much there?