Originally Posted by eddie007

I have to get this off my chest, OH has a severe case of selective hearing disorder and its just not right bitching about HIS family to HIM or MY family to HIS family...

Family dynamics are so very interesting aren't they?

I'm not moving to Aus next week becasue I watch/like Australian Soaps.... My life is enough like a soap already...

Three leaving "events"... free for all distant family/ friends general barbie and family/ closest friends only sit down meal... and final day spent with close friends and their kids in peaceful picnic mode.... bring and share...

General barbie, have not invited SIL and SIL new boyfriend as BIL (her husband) and their kids... who live with him ...are coming... therefore SIL invites two kids out to theme park for day .... out of blue, unexpexted treat blah blah blah HASN'T seen them for 6 weeks, hasn't phoned them/ contacted them (as usual) for six weeks ... last time she said she would come and see them she didn't... and the time before, the time before the time before... (getting the picture)


We HAVE invited SIL to the family meal, but have requested she doesn't bring the boyfriend.... this is for HIS safety as OH is BIL best friend (for 40 years, grew up together etc etc etc ) and they are still married and the kids will be there and they don't interact with the boyfriend...not forgetting that OH will not eat at the same table as the boyfriend and MIL has stated that if the BOYFRIEND turns up she will leave ....... MIL demanded that we didn't invite SIL to family meal at all but I over rode this one and invited her sans baggage...

Other BIL (OH brother) not invited to bar be que as is invited to family sit down meal for two reasons, firstly with FREE beer he will drink until he falls over but before he falls over will pick a fight with anything that moves.. and secondly we have to provide transport for them, as we have on all previous family occassions... which is a blessing as if they wont get on a bus or order a taxi then its unlikely that they will get on a plane either to come and vist us).... we want to have a good time which may include having a drink or two at our own leaving party and does not include staying sober to drive them home after.... I phoned BIL to invite to family leaving sit down meal... as we go in 12 days... he says "are you, I didn't know" which isn't true.... he does know, we widely published our departure date... THEY KNOW WE ARE GOING!!!! its all OH has talked about for last 3 months... Any way BIL says he will ask his wife.... goes away, comes back 10 minutes (which is a long time being left on the phone, they live in a two up two down with no garden, so heaven knows where she was, sainsburys perhaps?) and says... she doesn't like chinese... WELL I'M SORRY IT'S A FREE MEAL.. I say they do other food too, he says they "don't fancy it" I say "I thought you might like to come and say goodbye to your brother (I didn't say it but I thought....you know the one that spent 2 years doing up YOUR house every other weekend whilst me and our kids went and whistled? the one that provides free transport to shops/ family occassions/airports/ anywhere you ask to go? the one who has internet connection so does all your cheaper internet shopping / research and pays for it just to 'forget about it' when those new radiators etc arrive? The one who when your Dad died and cut you out of the will gave you HALF of HIS share becasue he believes in doing the right thing?) well sorry I wasted your time.... B@st@d!!!!

But its not just HIS family who have issues... MY sister is playing the dying swan... cannot face it, can't bear the fact you are leaving, too upset to come to the meal/ barbeque or anything... which is a relief as she is an alcoholic (that bit is true and serious) and I can guarentee her presence will result in massive fireworks/family punch up ...so she is doing her freezing us out act... which is fine, but hurting my parents as they wanted us all there.... SHE said that she would help with preparations for the barbeque and has JUST turned it all round saying she never said she would and that she has other plans for the weekend and it doesn't include us... I should be relieved as it will avoid conflict/ all out war...but I'm sat here crying instead.. and she has just phoned me back and said that I am cutting her out and excluding her!

And MIL! our last day (next saturday, we had plans to spend with friends who have arranged a picnic bring and share..... quiet time with people we love and will miss most... a couple of families who we are really close to and our kids are really close to) has ordered a 3 line whip to spend the day at a local airshow with her... I tried to tell her we have plans and I tried to tell her we wanted to spend a quiet day with people we know, not being dragged around a bloody funfair with aeroplanes overhead.. and a bunch of strangers... we have enough time for planes and strangers for the rest of our lives... but NO she played the grandchild card... the top trump... the very ace of dealt suit! She wants to spend the day with her grandchildren as I AM TAKING THEM AWAY FROM HER! not her son following his life long dream, fulfilling his ambition, starting a new life and hopefully a better future for his children.... Its ME taking them away... she even brought in the breast feeding thing.... you only breast fed them so I couldn't look after them (truth hurts eddie doesn't it!)

I can't unload this all onto OH he has enough to deal with. I know its totally disloyal broadcasting this to the world, but I used to sit here and read other peoples toxic families behaviour and think awful people, how can the behave like this when people are leaving them.... then my family (his and mine) turn around and do very much the same, there is nothing here that hasn't been posted before by other people.... so perhaps this is normal? Perhaps it is normal for people to treat each other so carelessly and manipulatively and cruelly...

And Ian's reaction to all this... Next week we will be on the other side of the world... and they wont.... so No Worries

Originally Posted by eddie007

i'm a bit gob smacked that this kind of behaviour is quite 'normal' to be honest... thought it was only east enders that had such emotionally wierd things going on... 'nice' to klnow its not just me and my 'family'... I'm going to write a book about it one day... only it will no doubt be dismissed as a work of pure fiction...

Originally Posted by eddie007

i'm a bit gob smacked that this kind of behaviour is quite 'normal' to be honest... thought it was only east enders that had such emotionally wierd things going on... 'nice' to klnow its not just me and my 'family'... I'm going to write a book about it one day... only it will no doubt be dismissed as a work of pure fiction...