How many times have you been in love?
Mar 31st 2010, 12:15 pm
#61
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
You suggest I am idealistic because I wish to find a life bond. Not idealistic, I just know what I want and what suits my personality. As for my parents, if you saw them together you would disregard the brainwashing bit.
The simple fact is you are trying to lump humans into neat pigeon holes but we are far more complex than that. You are broadly correct but not completely
The simple fact is you are trying to lump humans into neat pigeon holes but we are far more complex than that. You are broadly correct but not completely
On the other hand, I take a scientific view towards it rather than a romaticised version. I enter into relationships with the view that it is good while it lasts and enjoy it while I can but I don't have any expectations that it will last because on the balance of probabilities it won't. We are just not wired that way.
As for your parents, they have entered a stage of co-dependency. They couldn't live without each other if they tried; they are addicted to one another. But that's not "love".
Last edited by Deancm; Mar 31st 2010 at 12:17 pm.
Mar 31st 2010, 12:20 pm
#62
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
I'm not suggesting that you are idealistic because you want to find a life bond. I'm suggesting you want to find a life bond because that is the way you have been programmed by your parents and society since the day you were born, which is in effect social engineering. It's quite an interesting subject to research. The socially engineered version of relationships vs the natural version of relationships are two completely different things; they are not compatible. And people wonder why they break up, fall out of "love" with someone or end up having affairs...
On the other hand, I take a scientific view towards it rather than a romaticised version. I enter into relationships with the view that it is good while it lasts and enjoy it while I can but I don't have any expectations that it will last because on the balance of probabilities it won't. We are just not wired that way.
As for your parents, they have entered a stage of co-dependency. They couldn't live without each other if they tried; they are addicted to one another. But that's not "love".
On the other hand, I take a scientific view towards it rather than a romaticised version. I enter into relationships with the view that it is good while it lasts and enjoy it while I can but I don't have any expectations that it will last because on the balance of probabilities it won't. We are just not wired that way.
As for your parents, they have entered a stage of co-dependency. They couldn't live without each other if they tried; they are addicted to one another. But that's not "love".
Mar 31st 2010, 1:17 pm
#63
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Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
Re: How many times have you been in love?
I'm not suggesting that you are idealistic because you want to find a life bond. I'm suggesting you want to find a life bond because that is the way you have been programmed by your parents and society since the day you were born, which is in effect social engineering. It's quite an interesting subject to research. The socially engineered version of relationships vs the natural version of relationships are two completely different things; they are not compatible. And people wonder why they break up, fall out of "love" with someone or end up having affairs...
On the other hand, I take a scientific view towards it rather than a romaticised version. I enter into relationships with the view that it is good while it lasts and enjoy it while I can but I don't have any expectations that it will last because on the balance of probabilities it won't. We are just not wired that way.
As for your parents, they have entered a stage of co-dependency. They couldn't live without each other if they tried; they are addicted to one another. But that's not "love".
On the other hand, I take a scientific view towards it rather than a romaticised version. I enter into relationships with the view that it is good while it lasts and enjoy it while I can but I don't have any expectations that it will last because on the balance of probabilities it won't. We are just not wired that way.
As for your parents, they have entered a stage of co-dependency. They couldn't live without each other if they tried; they are addicted to one another. But that's not "love".
Mar 31st 2010, 1:43 pm
#67
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
I think there are different ways of falling in love too.
There's the friendship that grows into love, and there's the unexpected 'hit by a train' feeling when you fall head over heels in love with someone. I've experienced both. Very different but both love (for me).
There's the friendship that grows into love, and there's the unexpected 'hit by a train' feeling when you fall head over heels in love with someone. I've experienced both. Very different but both love (for me).
Mar 31st 2010, 6:41 pm
#69
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
I pretty much agree with that!I recall when I divorced my first OH,both my sisters were horrified,not because they loved the guy,just the fact that yep once you were married,that was it.Years later both those sisters are married to jerks and are unhappy.You only live once.
Mar 31st 2010, 7:18 pm
#70
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
I think you know you love someone when they have a serious illness like my oh recently, think you are going to lose them and then realise how horrible life would be without them.
Me I had quite a few relationships before we married loved them all, and been married for over 35 years now and I put that down to the fact that I had those prior relationships, love or whatever, enjoyed it anyway.
Me I had quite a few relationships before we married loved them all, and been married for over 35 years now and I put that down to the fact that I had those prior relationships, love or whatever, enjoyed it anyway.
Apr 3rd 2010, 11:25 am
#72
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
I think you know you love someone when they have a serious illness like my oh recently, think you are going to lose them and then realise how horrible life would be without them.
Me I had quite a few relationships before we married loved them all, and been married for over 35 years now and I put that down to the fact that I had those prior relationships, love or whatever, enjoyed it anyway.
Me I had quite a few relationships before we married loved them all, and been married for over 35 years now and I put that down to the fact that I had those prior relationships, love or whatever, enjoyed it anyway.
Apr 3rd 2010, 5:51 pm
#74
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
Not one of my strongest points!Seriously my Dad died 16 years ago,and my Mum has been lonely ever since.She's had offers(and us kids have told her to "go for it")but nope,out of loyalty she stays alone.Life is too short to spend it alone.
Apr 3rd 2010, 6:44 pm
#75
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Re: How many times have you been in love?
The thought of living life on my own doesn't bother me in the slightest. The thought of being with someone and not feeling totally and utterly in love with them, and that same feeling not being reciprocated fills me with dread. I would rather be with nobody.
Em x
EDIT: I have plenty of friends so companionship wouldnt be an issue.. I am lucky that I make friends pretty easily.. plus I am not bothered about going to functions on my own either, or joining clubs etc etc..
