TMRE

Same here! Saw my mum Christmas Eve in the morning. She brought up presents and stayed for 10 minutes. Called her on Christmas day to say thank you and Merry Christmas. She was in the middle of opening a bottle of wine for her OH's daughter so could she call me back later. It's now the 27th and I am still waiting, phone just rings out when I try to call her. Thought something had happened but she has spoken to my Nan and brother today. Think she might be doing it on purpose as it's hopefully our last UK Christmas for a while. Still didn't get an invite for dinner, not been there once in the last 16 years so wasn't expecting things to change. She won't come to us either so gave up asking years ago. She only lives 10 miles away as well.Think the time has come for me to realise some people are just not worth keeping in contact with

Pants

hello hun

How are you sweetie? I love the emails I get and the kiddies look so well and happy. You know I don't think its just us miserable poms....hubby(aussie) has no contact from his so called mates, even to tell him they have become parents.!!! Just seems so sad as it makes you change your values in a way..self preservation as Bix would say !!

mmmmhhhh moving back to Oz....now that is something I can see in our future !!I certainly dont want to grow old in the UK !!!

Sham Williams

I think it is really hard when you think you had good mates that you had been friendly with for many years and then you leave and they cant even be bothered to email a couple of lines to you!! My OH has struggled with that, think women are better at keeping in touch (imo), so he just gets his own back by getting bit pissed Friday nights and shouting down Skype to them all!!

It is funny though the way the ones you think will keep in touch dont and those that you think you will never hear from again keep in touch all the time!! Think it was you Pants that told me that would happen, and it is strange but guess it just goes to show you never really know someone no matter how long you been friends for!!

seanandmaria

Thats sooooo true!!!

Maria

TiddlyPom

No, sorry Pants.... that's not you ... that's just plain inconsiderate. I cannot imagine not phoning my sister if she'd had a lump removed... given all the stresses that involves.
I think perhaps that's the sort of thing my sister used to do to me... 'Oh darling, we're coming past your place on Friday night for a wedding. Can we leave the children with you for the weekend and then pick them up on the way back?'
(I was 7 months pregnant with complications, exhausted, coping with a business collapse and a husbands cancer scare)
That was when I said 'no' for the first time. Boy was she not pleased.
But I said I was not a drop off point for socialites to leave their kids with. I think she took the point.
We only lived in Buckinghamshire... 'Oh but we never visit because you live so far away'....



Perhaps, in their favour, they don't know how to 'cope' with the whole lump issue and are trying to tread more lightly (by email) or they're ignoring it and pretending nothing's happening. Both fairly common reactions.

nickyjohnt

Dont take the lack of replies from friends and relatives to heart. It is just that everyone back home has moved on and is getting on with their own lives (with you not included).

I gave up a long time ago trying to keep in contact with folks back home. I dont take offence with their lack of response but just get on with my new life.

I think everyone who makes the move to come out here can relate to this.

Keep your chin up and look to the future and not back over your shoulder to the past.

donna

Am i the only one with the opposite problem,every bloody Sunday nite without fail MIL rings,kids usually run to the answer any phonecall ,but even they've sussed its Sunday "it'll be Grandma" Mind you FIL hasnt bothered to speak with any of us for 18months,including the kids,but is expecting to stay with us in Aug,i think not!
A friend txt the other day to say that she was at another good friend of mines house and was having a blonde moment on the time difference,and what was the time in Aus?.I txt back" 5.30am now **** off and i will call you later".No offence taken either way.People do get sidetracked(me included) and keep putting things off for another day,but hey thats life,dont take it personally.
donna

Hutch

End of the day, we're the ones that have moved - not them. For them, they're in the same old goldfish bowl doing the same old things. I take the view that I'm the one that buggered off so I should be the one to do the leg-work if contact is to be kept. So I don't resent having to make the call or send the email ...

lee28

We havent left the Uk yet and allready were feeling pissed off with people.

We got married on nov 9th and I said in my speech about moving to OZ and the cheap holidays for everyone and put our website on the invites.

We have made our own website, with a forum and photographs and our MSN contacts and bought webcams so we can talk to the people back home, basically just to let them know were not going to just piss off and forget them.

On our christams cards we put our website address down and guess how many people came and signed up?

2 and they have visited once, the time when they joined the forum and havent been back since.

Bastards.

I said to the wife, if they cant even be arsed looking up a webpage what chance have we got of staying in touch.

lee28

Also LOL my best friend was a classic.

When we decided to move to oz which was a couple of years ago he burst into tears everytime we would have a drink and says how sad he is about being left behind in the UK, ect.

Then he decided he was going to move to canada and applied then got rejected BUT when he was a kid his mum and dad had moved the family to canada for a few years then returned.

When he got his rejection letter he threw it in a drawer in anger and never read the full letter. A few weeks had past and his mum read the letter and it turns out he was actually classed as a canadian citizen living abroad and there was a 60day visa in his passport to get back into canada or give up his citizenship, so he sold all his possessions and was all set to go.

Which brings me back to the original point, he would basically cry like a big kid every time we were together and said always keep in touch!!

and so he left about a year ago and now lives in toronto and GUESS WHAT!!, I am the arsehole who has always phoned him to see what he is doing.

I would visit his folks house and said tell him to phone me, and now his folks have moved across to canada and I have had one email from them all.

Screw it I thought, thing is they dont know were flying out on the 13th of January to Oz.

I did try thought and I sometimes take it personally, like I smell or something.

Bernieboy

Christ if i thought you lot where going to whinge this much,i would have phoned/sent cards/bought pressies,pored your bloody drinks an all

hevs

I'm still waiting for "Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby boy" Cards from two of my Aunties. The same Aunties that whinged when Matt was in hospital about me not bothering to ring them to tell them what was going on and said they wouldn't contact me until I made an effort!

Hope they're not holding their breath, stupid cows!

Matts family on the other hand are fab

Pants

I reckon you are right in some ways as my sister isn't good with things like health etc. When I was getting the so called results from one test which happened to be on my birthday she didn't bother ringing then and so when I explained to her I was upset she had forgotten and also as the results ( which didn't happen) were due she chucked a wobbler and accused me of holding onto things...this was because it was the 2nd year running she had forgotten by birthday and I mentioned that...you would think after 40 odd years it would have sunk in by now. !! The date I mean.

I am due my results next week so we will see if she remembers that !!!I am not holding my breath!!! and I plan a massive celebration if they come back ok...!!


Good for you sweetie saying that to your sister..!! cheeky sister

jojosan

"We've given everyone the number to use that gives them 1p a min calls to Oz "


Can I ask please - what's that number?? (Sorry for hi-jacking the point of the post!!)

Ta

rabsody

That's exactly the view I've always taken. I did the moving, I make most of the effort.

Whether they keep in touch or not (or whether I do) whenever I get back to UK on holiday and catch up with them it's as though I've never been away.