Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
Jun 23rd 2009, 7:50 am
#17
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,042
Re: Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
Hi everyone, as some of you probably know I've been dreaming about Oz since I was 18 years old... but wouldn't qualify.
I've been working on getting the visa since then, plus starting a family! I'm now almost 24, and still don't qualify lol. I only have a hnd, if I spend a year studying to upgrade it to a degree I should FINALLY be able to apply next May
But i'm feeling ready to tell the parents . . . again!
I told them when I was 18 that I wanted to go to Oz and they hit the roof. I got the whole "you wouldn't take our grandkids away from us" (even though I hadnt even had kids at that point) and "if you live there then we might as well not have a daughter".
It wasn't good!
I have 2 older brothers, both of which are childless at present whereas I have two daughters.
I'm going to have to tell my mum and dad that I'm going to uni to get my degree, and they're going to ask why (I work from myself so don't really need one for work purposes)... so I've had enough of beating around the bush and have decided I'm going to tell them this week... Just can't decide how!
Any ideas/recommendations?
Thanks everyone
Jen
I've been working on getting the visa since then, plus starting a family! I'm now almost 24, and still don't qualify lol. I only have a hnd, if I spend a year studying to upgrade it to a degree I should FINALLY be able to apply next May
But i'm feeling ready to tell the parents . . . again!
I told them when I was 18 that I wanted to go to Oz and they hit the roof. I got the whole "you wouldn't take our grandkids away from us" (even though I hadnt even had kids at that point) and "if you live there then we might as well not have a daughter".
It wasn't good!
I have 2 older brothers, both of which are childless at present whereas I have two daughters.
I'm going to have to tell my mum and dad that I'm going to uni to get my degree, and they're going to ask why (I work from myself so don't really need one for work purposes)... so I've had enough of beating around the bush and have decided I'm going to tell them this week... Just can't decide how!
Any ideas/recommendations?
Thanks everyone
Jen
We couldn't mention OZ when my wife's mum was in the room, but she's now starting to talk about it, so I would recommend being open with them. That way there will be no guilt felt on your part. You're only doing what you think is for the best for your family.
Or just nip to the shop for 2yrs like Vash said!!
Jun 23rd 2009, 12:14 pm
#18
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Lymm
Posts: 106
Re: Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
We originally started applying 6 years ago, I am an only child but thought I would be upfront and tell them our plans. They didn't take it well, giving us emotional blackmail with the kids, like yourself telling us we are taking them away from them and they would never see them again (my mum refuses to fly so wouldn't visit). In the end we stopped the process.
5 years down the line, the wife's Dad and Step-mum died and we decided to go for it again, this time we decided not to tell anyone until after we got the visa. We got the visa, but haven't sold our house so we decided not to tell them at this point. We went to Oz at Easter to validate the visas, but told my parents it was a conference for work. This is because we pleaded poverty then spend £5k to go to Oz so another little white lie. Anyway when or if we sell the house we are telling them we are going for 2 years through my work, then when we are out there they will get used to the idea as we will be permanent. It is not as though we see them all the time, we see them every 3 months or so over night and we only live 90 mile away.
The latest (similar to other posts) they want to move to France and do we mind - not at all, makes telling them our move easier.
Good luck with it - live for yourself and your family not others, if you don't do it you will regret it.
5 years down the line, the wife's Dad and Step-mum died and we decided to go for it again, this time we decided not to tell anyone until after we got the visa. We got the visa, but haven't sold our house so we decided not to tell them at this point. We went to Oz at Easter to validate the visas, but told my parents it was a conference for work. This is because we pleaded poverty then spend £5k to go to Oz so another little white lie. Anyway when or if we sell the house we are telling them we are going for 2 years through my work, then when we are out there they will get used to the idea as we will be permanent. It is not as though we see them all the time, we see them every 3 months or so over night and we only live 90 mile away.
The latest (similar to other posts) they want to move to France and do we mind - not at all, makes telling them our move easier.
Good luck with it - live for yourself and your family not others, if you don't do it you will regret it.
Jun 23rd 2009, 12:22 pm
#19
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,042
Re: Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
We originally started applying 6 years ago, I am an only child but thought I would be upfront and tell them our plans. They didn't take it well, giving us emotional blackmail with the kids, like yourself telling us we are taking them away from them and they would never see them again (my mum refuses to fly so wouldn't visit). In the end we stopped the process.
5 years down the line, the wife's Dad and Step-mum died and we decided to go for it again, this time we decided not to tell anyone until after we got the visa. We got the visa, but haven't sold our house so we decided not to tell them at this point. We went to Oz at Easter to validate the visas, but told my parents it was a conference for work. This is because we pleaded poverty then spend £5k to go to Oz so another little white lie. Anyway when or if we sell the house we are telling them we are going for 2 years through my work, then when we are out there they will get used to the idea as we will be permanent. It is not as though we see them all the time, we see them every 3 months or so over night and we only live 90 mile away.
The latest (similar to other posts) they want to move to France and do we mind - not at all, makes telling them our move easier.
Good luck with it - live for yourself and your family not others, if you don't do it you will regret it.
5 years down the line, the wife's Dad and Step-mum died and we decided to go for it again, this time we decided not to tell anyone until after we got the visa. We got the visa, but haven't sold our house so we decided not to tell them at this point. We went to Oz at Easter to validate the visas, but told my parents it was a conference for work. This is because we pleaded poverty then spend £5k to go to Oz so another little white lie. Anyway when or if we sell the house we are telling them we are going for 2 years through my work, then when we are out there they will get used to the idea as we will be permanent. It is not as though we see them all the time, we see them every 3 months or so over night and we only live 90 mile away.
The latest (similar to other posts) they want to move to France and do we mind - not at all, makes telling them our move easier.
Good luck with it - live for yourself and your family not others, if you don't do it you will regret it.
Jun 23rd 2009, 12:53 pm
#20
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Lymm
Posts: 106
Re: Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
Not told them yet, they are 9 and 6 for that exact reason. We keep hinting to test the water and our 9 year old's friend is moving to Oz in October, so he is warming to the idea. It seems at the minute our 9 year old's only reservation seems to be the Australian School Uniforms that he feels are un-Cool
Jun 23rd 2009, 1:05 pm
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,042
Re: Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
Not told them yet, they are 9 and 6 for that exact reason. We keep hinting to test the water and our 9 year old's friend is moving to Oz in October, so he is warming to the idea. It seems at the minute our 9 year old's only reservation seems to be the Australian School Uniforms that he feels are un-Cool
Jun 23rd 2009, 2:48 pm
#22
Chan eil aon chànan gu le
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
Re: Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
Sorry Jen,I think their reaction was quite selfish. When my mum & dad were alive they just wanted what was best for me. My sister left for OZ when she was 21, they hated her going but supported her. I still hate New Year 'cos that would be the time my mam got upset.
We couldn't mention OZ when my wife's mum was in the room, but she's now starting to talk about it, so I would recommend being open with them. That way there will be no guilt felt on your part. You're only doing what you think is for the best for your family.
Or just nip to the shop for 2yrs like Vash said!!
We couldn't mention OZ when my wife's mum was in the room, but she's now starting to talk about it, so I would recommend being open with them. That way there will be no guilt felt on your part. You're only doing what you think is for the best for your family.
Or just nip to the shop for 2yrs like Vash said!!
Some people can talk about it to parents/families but others just simply cannot, for fear of upsetting them. It's a really difficult time for all and good luck to everyone going through the process.
Jun 25th 2009, 2:06 am
#23
Demi-God
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Far North Queensland
Posts: 2,812
Re: Help With Telling The Parents You're Leaving!
Tell your parent's that you've discovered that you're gay and that you've met a nice girl called Caroline that you're going to shack up with and the kids are going to live with their father in Bulgaria.
Then when they hit the roof you can say, "Actually, I'm just kidding. We're emigrating to Oz."
They'll be so relieved that you won't have any problems. Reminds them of how things could be a lot worse.
Then when they hit the roof you can say, "Actually, I'm just kidding. We're emigrating to Oz."
They'll be so relieved that you won't have any problems. Reminds them of how things could be a lot worse.
