elice_in_oz

Beware, this is another MIL rant

Why did I bother giving my lovely large bedroom with ensuite to my MIL when she spends ALL of her time sitting on the sofa in the living room? I am the one that has to retreat to the small spare room to get some privacy. And she still uses the main bathroom because she likes to take a bath... Next time, she can stay in the spare room and I'll just keep my big bed and my ensuite!

She's been here almost a month and a half, and the furthest she has been on her own is GREENSBOROUGH PLAZA! That is ONE stop on the train and for those of you who know Greensborough Plaza, it's not the most exciting place in Melbourne... She has not been out to the city to check out the Christmas stuff, nor to visit museums or any of that stuff that most normal visitors to Melbourne would want to do.

All she does all day is entertain the chickens, read books and drink TEA by the gallon! I swear, if I drank the same amount of tea and coffee that she does, I would be climbing the wall! She drinks more tea and coffee than water...

I know I am being a bit (a lot ) intolerant but I am finding it very hard. I think what I find hardest is the loss of privacy. She never ever retreats to her room to read or whatever. Even in the evenings, when I'm watching something on TV of no interest to her, she'll still just sit there. I still have another 43 days of this. Not sure I can take it. I am tired of hearing stories about what the chooks did or how evil her ex daughter in law is. I need to let out steam. Hence this post

Also, she sucks her teeth, she shuffles her feet, she farts and burps, she had explosive diarrhoea that went under the toilet seat and that she didn't clean up properly, she takes more medication than anyone I know, including my 92-year-old grandfather (she's only 68), she can't work a camera/computer/dvd player/insert any technological device to save her life (my 3-year-old is more tech savvy than she'll ever be) because she won't try, she can't cook, she folds t-shirts down the middle, she irons UNDERWEAR FFS! (and scoffs at ex DIL's habit of ironing socks ), she doesn't rinse the dishes, she smokes and doesn't have a shower or bath every day so all her belongings stinks of stale fag smoke, she goes and buys crap stuff from the supermarket and hasn't even set foot in the deli across the street, she sleeps until 10 every day but won't go to bed early to give us some privacy, she doesn't remember anything we tell her about plans for the week/weekend ahead, she keeps closing doors when I want them open and opening doors when I want them closed, and she snores very loudly...
*rant over*
OK, I may be overreacting a bit but seriously, never again will I suggest that she come to spend 3 months here. I must have been drunk the day I made the suggestion! That'll teach me

Bernieboy

Is Polly yer MIL

Pollyana

I don't smoke

elice_in_oz

Methinks Polly would be a very good MIL!

elice_in_oz

Thank god for that! I thought I been busted for a second there

Pollyana

Nice to know who my friends are

eddie007

OMG TWO OF THEM!!!!!!!


You have my deepest, sincereist, most heart felt sympathies....


I haven't heard a single positive thing come out of its mouth yet.... Amazing considering that she never shuts up... Ever.... Ever... Ever.... Unless of course we are getting the icy silence... Nice and cooling on a hot summers day

Tomorrow we go to mandurah to the "textile traders" store to look at their quilting fabrics....

Took me ages to work out the name of the shop... Coz a kiwi was trying to say it....

I hear there was a great white down that way earlier today... So we might see if she fancies a swim...

Today, trying to get a bit of kip coz I've been working nights... The kids didnt wake me, the cats didnt wake me, the dogs didnt wake me... It was HER... She has developed an acute case of one volume syndrome... Loud as! And frequently... Jeez...

Zambia

Excellent post OP , Hang in there just rant it out here.

Cheetah7

OK, this is what you do.

You eat the most fart inducing foods known to man or beast and you make yourself have a wind problem and you quite simply guff her out of the room. Or you could tell her you have a bad bowel infection and need to be isolated and will be retiring to the spare room, or better still you need your ensuite back so you can shite on demand.

Pretend to be sick, pretend to be infirm, pretend you have scabies - anything as to avoid contact. Ban her from smoking in the house - please god tell me she doesnt do that if you guys are non smokers? That is a big no-no! Ban her,

How thoroughly awful.

slapphead_otool

Elice - fix the MIL up with a one night stand with Amazulu. That will sort her out.

rasen78

carolinephillips

She irons underwear????

I know the loss of privacy is hard, but you are on the downhill slope to her going. Some, but not all, of the things you accuse her of seem a bit unfair- taking medication for example or drinking tea by the gallon- the first is necessary, and the second is a general thing among the older people- I am 51 and drink more tea than water- about 6 or 7 half pint mugs per day, and maybe half a glass of water. I even take all my medications with tea (no milk no sugar). Have you shown her how you like your t-shirts folded? I am presuming she is being kind enough to iron your things. As for the deli avoidance- she may be on a limited budget if she is buying stuff for you to eat. She may also be lonely and looking for company rather than being shunted off to her room like a small child in the evening.

And don't start me on using technology......I can't even see the buttons on the digital cameras or phones.................I get my 15 year old to do it.

Oh dear, I'm going to make someone a lovely mother in law.

jothefw

In these days of careful washing ie "wash everything on cold to save the environment" I did see an article in a doctors surgery magazine some time ago (as in a little old and weathered) that said there was merit in ladies ironing their undies, the heat kills off any hiding "bugs" ..... what a thought

Dorothy

Aw that sounds really shit. Have you tried talking to her about some of it? Maybe if you have a sit down and explain that you and your husband like to have an hour together in the evening before bed and would appreciate if she could maybe read in her room? How about getting a calendar so you can write down the plans for the week ahead and she can refer to that? Let her know that you like to rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher (I don't rinse dishes either). And as for the smelling like stale smoke, just let her know (politely) that with summer being here she might like to shower daily to cool off. It may just be a 'conserving water' thing, so let her know it's ok to shower daily. In fact, encourage it...Maybe suggest she has her shower in the evening so you and your husband can have some time together while she's having her bath and getting into her nightclothes.

I'm sure she's not doing any of these things just to annoy you guys and would probably be upset to realise that she is annoying. She won't know if nobody tells her. It doesn't have to be mean or hurtful, but she does need to know.

TiddlyPom

Tee hee...
Couldn't help but think how alike my mother she sounds.

Apart from the constant tea drinking, leaving the collection of tea bags around our kitchen surface is a constant. I asked her if she was saving them for something special and then pointed out where the bin was.
She knows my leg's broken but can't help whacking the sofa every few seconds when she's making a point, which is basically all the time. The vibrations hurt but she doesn't even know she's doing it. Thankfully she left yesterday before I had to ask her to stop.
If we mention something about another town, she immediately acts like she knows everything about it and where it is. 'Ohhhhh, yes, Newcastle' in this knowing voice. She's been to Aus once before and therefore this has made her an expert on everything. It's like she can't admit to not knowing anything.
Every song that comes on, she'll sing through, but she doesn't actually know the words. A favourite song comes on and she'll sing it loudly a micro second after each word has been sung by the artist. It's the weirdest thing.
She'll either sing the words a micro second after, or hum loudly or 'la la la' along to it, but she doesn't freaking know it.
It's pure torture.
If she's not the centre of the conversation, she'll be put out. If it's not about her, she'll be put out.
Friends who came round for dinner the other night, the wife is a bit of a talker... because my mother couldn't get a word in and it wasn't about her, she picked up a book and read, right next to our friends on the sofa.
It was pretty embarrassing. I did pre warn our friends so they didn't take offence.
They're not staying with us because we simply don't have the room. Otherwise I think I would have gone insane.
But they're in Australia and all they've been doing is sitting in their studio place, praying (they're christians so they have to pray a lot it seems), drinking tea, endless tea, feeding birds bread, emailing people and... that's it.
We've given them a car to use, but they haven't really been anywhere. They've been to no lookouts, no tourist attractions...
Yes, they flew half way around the world to feed birds bread.
They're off to Tasmania later on but they haven't got anything planned... they're just going to see how it goes...
Presumably they'll go there, drink tea, drive nowhere and pray. Oh and email.

All in all, I think it's going well.