Funny about Qantas
 

A little funny i was sent.....

I feel much safer flying with Qantas now!!
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded
(marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. .... Enjoy!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last......

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

That has had me laughing :rofl::rofl: brilliant :thumbsup:

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

Quality...

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

lol i've saw somthing similar with raf pilots my hubbie told me a few stories too :L its a hoot

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

Brilliant!!!:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

Love it!! :rofl::rofl:

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

Very good! :D

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

I prefer this lovely picture handed into a Qantas pilot by an 8yr old girl:

http://www.filcomm.co.uk/funnies/qantas.jpg

Re: Funny about Qantas
 

Very funny very stormy!!
My son wants to be a pilot, he thought it was hillarious - thanks!