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Funerals and children

Funerals and children

Old Nov 14th 2006, 6:26 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

So sorry to hear about your Granddad I missed this thread earlier as I haven't been on here as much lately. I am glad to hear that he has rallied a little and hope that things aren't too hard for everyone, emotionally.
With regards the kids I would say that only you know your kids, personally I would ask my lot and they all went to Ian's Dad's funeral (even the 4 year old). It was the best thing for them and although they probably didn't understand it all they were fine. My older daughter drew some pictures which were put into the coffin with him and she felt that that was her way of saying goodbye.
Our thoughts are with you all.
Nicky
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Old Nov 14th 2006, 6:53 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Mandy,
in the space of eighteen months my Husband lost both his elder and youngest brothers. Our Son James was 6 when the first one passed away.

I won't pretend it was any easy time but we talked to him about his Uncles and tried to expalin to him what had happened. He coped but we did have a few days where he got frustrated and threw a tantrum or two!

I would not have taken him to the funeral, it is bad enough that us grown ups have to suffer them.

We did have a little child friendly family ceremony thingy together and talked all the time about his two favourite Uncles.James now has chosen to have a large photo of them both on his bedroom wall, his Dad is in it too and they are all holding pints!!


Now our daughters reaction was so different , she was 18 when the sad news broke. Would not talk about what had happened, did not want to attand the funeral, no wish to visit the graves etc. This is her way of coping
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Old Nov 15th 2006, 5:27 am
  #33  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Mandy, personally I would give them the choice. If they want to come then let them. If they don't want to go then again that's fine. When my father in law died, my husband was crying at the funeral and my then 5 year old went and sat on his knee and put her arms round him to comfort him. My other daughter was 8 and understood totally what was going on. Both girls helped me choose the floral tribute and wrote their own messages on it. It was right for them, but you know your own children.

Jane x
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Old Nov 20th 2006, 10:59 pm
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Default Re: Funerals and children

thank you all for your replies.
WE have talked it through as a family and have decided that the eldest may want to go to the funeral when ever the time comes but the other 2 wont.
The day after the funeral all the great grand children will go to the grave side and put flowers down and plant some daff bulbs(my granda's fav)
Im keeping my self busy with my studying and trying to just get on with things , knowing the inevitable could happen at any time.
Mandy
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Old Nov 21st 2006, 12:54 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by geordie mandy
thank you all for your replies.
WE have talked it through as a family and have decided that the eldest may want to go to the funeral when ever the time comes but the other 2 wont.
The day after the funeral all the great grand children will go to the grave side and put flowers down and plant some daff bulbs(my granda's fav)
Im keeping my self busy with my studying and trying to just get on with things , knowing the inevitable could happen at any time.
Mandy
Our thoughts are with you all, keeping busy can be the only way to get through these times ((((((((hugs)))))))).
All the best.
Love Nicky x
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Old Nov 21st 2006, 7:38 am
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by geordie mandy
thank you all for your replies.
WE have talked it through as a family and have decided that the eldest may want to go to the funeral when ever the time comes but the other 2 wont.
The day after the funeral all the great grand children will go to the grave side and put flowers down and plant some daff bulbs(my granda's fav)
Im keeping my self busy with my studying and trying to just get on with things , knowing the inevitable could happen at any time.
Mandy
I think that sounds a good plan Mandy

Still thinking of you chick, keep your chin up

Kath xx
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Old Nov 21st 2006, 10:27 am
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by Clippies
I think that sounds a good plan Mandy

Still thinking of you chick, keep your chin up

Kath xx
ditto sounds like a good idea Mandy
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Old Nov 26th 2006, 2:35 pm
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Default Re: Funerals and children

My granda died peacefully on Fri.Im sort of relieved that his suffering is over, but feel guilty for feeling this way.
Mandy
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Old Nov 26th 2006, 2:38 pm
  #39  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by geordie mandy
My granda died peacefully on Fri.Im sort of relieved that his suffering is over, but feel guilty for feeling this way.
Mandy
So sorry for your loss Mandy. Thinking of you.
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Old Nov 26th 2006, 2:41 pm
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by geordie mandy
My granda died peacefully on Fri.Im sort of relieved that his suffering is over, but feel guilty for feeling this way.
Mandy
Sorry to hear that Mandy
& dont feel guilty

Nicky
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Old Nov 26th 2006, 2:57 pm
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by geordie mandy
My granda died peacefully on Fri.Im sort of relieved that his suffering is over, but feel guilty for feeling this way.
Mandy
Sorry to hear your news Mandy and don't feel guilty.
Thinking of you all at this sad time.

Lynne
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Old Nov 26th 2006, 3:29 pm
  #42  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Hi Mandy,
Sending my condolences to you and your family.
I know exactly how you feel, my Grandad died peacefully in August.
Don't feel guilty Mandy, if he was like my Grandad he had a wonderful long life and wouldn't want anyone feeling like that.
Please pm me if you need a chat or anything at all.
Take care,
J x

Sending you a pm
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Old Nov 26th 2006, 5:27 pm
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by geordie mandy
My granda died peacefully on Fri.Im sort of relieved that his suffering is over, but feel guilty for feeling this way.
Mandy
Mandy, do not feel guilty - it is perfectly normal to be relieved he is no longer suffering and is finally at peace.

My sincerest condolences to you and your family Mandy, my thoughts are with you.

Kath xxxx
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Old Nov 26th 2006, 10:28 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Thank you everyone for your support, this past fortnight has been like a form of torture, seeing the sparkle disappear slowly from my granda.

My parents are trying to sort the funeral out as my granma is in no fit state, she still had not accepted that he was dying.

AS the eldest of all the grandchildren ive been asked to do a reading and i know that is going to be so hard to do . But it will also be an honour.
Unfortunatly my husband can not get home for the funeral.

To all of you a big thank you for advice and support, it has helped an emotinal wreck feel a little stronger.
Mandy
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 3:01 am
  #45  
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Default Re: Funerals and children

Originally Posted by geordie mandy
My granda died peacefully on Fri.Im sort of relieved that his suffering is over, but feel guilty for feeling this way.
Mandy

Mandy deepest sympathy to you & your family. My Grandad died suddenly Sat lunchtime, he had parkinsons & i too am relieved his suffering is now over. My children will not be attending the funeral basicially cos of teh cost of getting us all from NZ to UK, so i will travel alone. My kids now 5 & 3 have attended family funerals before teh last being when my nan died in july last yr, i found that having them there gave me great strength, & my nan would have been pleased that they were there. My kids now understand that i have too go to GG (gt grandad) funeral to say goodbye, & that yes i will be sad, but i'll return home to be mummy again. (quite how i'm going to cope with them & hubby not there & with jet lag i'm not sure )
good luck with the reading your grandad would be proud. My mums friend died last year, & her granddaughter read poems & reading out , they were 8 , 12,& 14 . they were fantastic, they just made me sob , cos i know i couldn't have done what they did.
take care, thinking of you xx

Last edited by poppets; Nov 27th 2006 at 3:04 am.
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