glennandkate

Am I the only on forcing my kids to move to the other side of the world? I am starting to feel so guilty at the moment as my kids really don't want to go. My sons easily bought and we have promised him a trials bike when he gets there (still not totally convinced it will happen stupid idea by hubby!!!!) He is know saying he doesn't want to go but as long as he gets this damn bike he will. Its my daughter who is really breaking my heart. She's 12 and ofcourse doesn't want to leave her friends and especially her Nan and Aunt and to make matters worse shes not screaming the place down about it - shes just gone really quiet about the whole thing and say's things like 'you are making me go if I like it or not so theres no point saying anything ' and then ' You say about you don't want to stay in England saying 'what if' - well maybe I dont want to live in Oz saying 'what if' about England'
Oooohhh I know in my heart I am doing the right thing but what if my heart is wrong and I totally mess up my kids lives
Do all kids go through this? I am so annoyed we didn't emigrate when we first spoke about it 10 years ago when they were small....

redlion

You will not mess up your kids lives, believe me. They will love it when they get there and make new friends and start doing new things in a lovely warm climate just because you can when its warm. Unlike here when you have to pray on your knees that the days you have off work or school will be something close to warm or at least dry. How many kids do you know that will get this chance of such a fantastic life experience in a new country? Dont get me wrong im not saying they should be gratefull or owt like that im just saying i am certain they will be fine once they see it for themselves. And before anyone else jumps on my back yes i know its not just about the weather but it certainly helps. Good luck to you all, go for it. Life is too short and we pass this way but only once!


Nev.

Wendy

I have one exactly the same. He's 13 and will constantly tell me how he feels about going. I've told him he's no choice so he may as well get used to it, it doesn't stop him whining though

Once we get there, they will hopefully make new friends and be fine.

I have tried to put myself in his shoes and realise that all the doubts we have he is experienceing them as well. Not to mention that he really don't have much control over it, which we do. So he is bound to be unsettled by it all.

My little girl on the other hand is quite the opposite, but probably doesn't realise the enormity of it all.

At the end of the day, we have to just be there for them and do the best we can. Hopefully it will all work out in the end.

The A Team

No you're not the worst mum in the world, my son didn't want to go either (he's 11) but changed his mind when we were on our validation trip in February. Although he still doesn't want to leave his friends he's a lot happier now.......and we're heading for Townsville

Dorothy

Kate, my daughter is 11 (nearly 12) and very excited about going. If you PM me, maybe we can put them in touch and my little one can be friends with yours. We're going to Perth, but they can be email buddies. I think you and I are on the same timelines, too, so they will be going over around the same time.
Dorothy

moneypenny20

My eldest was 12 when we told her we were coming out here. For months she wouldn't say the "A" word. Then we got the "I'm going to live with friend A or friend B" until I explained that their mothers loved her but not that much She then decided she would live in friend B's guinea pig hutch until I reminded her that spiders were in there too.

Briefly she came round and started asking questions, never forced anything on her, just answered and moved on to another subject.

She then went into denial again and the final week before we left she must have cried her weight in tears. The final day she spent huddled in her wardrobe crying - had to leave her too it, had too much to do and didn't want to miss our flights.

Loads more tears but......... five months in, she wouldn't admit it yet but she is loving it. Would probably say she would go back in a nano second but I think she would struggle if it became a reality.

Her and her sister were squabbling earlier (surprise ) and she said something about her school. Youngest said that her school was better, and a major argument followed - both arguing the merits of their schools.

I didn't say anything

The A Team

That's very reassuring. I think most kids just need a bit of space and time to get used to the idea

NickyP

I am sure that she will be fine once she gets over the initial fear of change and realises that the kids out here aren't all that different to kids anywhere. We are having problems with our 17 year old (more down to girlfriend etc but he isn't happy here) however, even we had a little victory today when he admitted that his life wouldn't be any better, and would probably be far worse in many ways, in the UK (except he would be closer to the girlfriend of course ).
Most children settle very quickly but they have their lives set up at home and are afraid of having to be the newby, what they soon learn is that the Australian children (at least the ones that we have met) love newcomers and are very quick to include them.
My 11 year old daughter was terrified of coming here although she put a brave face on it but now she wouldn't have it any other way and has a huge circle of friends. She was really sad to leave behind her Nan and Grandpa but didn't bat an eyelid when hubby went back there this week with work and just enjoyed making a video for them letting them know how happy she was and asking them when they are coming over.
Good luck.
Nicky

Vash the Stampede

You're not, and they'll get over it.

YoSemite

yup totally..... and remember - they're the CHILDREN! they don't run the house - that's your job!

could be worse.... i almost had to move to belguim when i was wee!!! imagine THAT!

NickyP

Just where we escaped from and that is where our eldest wants to go back to (at least most people where we are living haven't a clue where Belgium is and when you say near to France they think that it must be very cultured hee hee)
Nicky

steve`o

no your not

our thirteen year acted like the world had ended when we told her we intended to emigrate

your spoiling my life etc
and various other very hurtful things were said to us

however since then we have been over to Aus twice

now its the best place in the world apparently
she regularly chats via MSN with kids that have already made the move and now can't wait to get there

kids eh
can't kill em can't kill em

upthehammers

Hi Kate,i have spoken to you before because we are on the same time line so i think we are going through the same things at the same time.My kids are 12 and 15 the 12 year old can not wait to go but the 15 year old is a little worried.I think this is normal for most kids,it is the not knowing.Your not a bad mum,you are going to oz to give your family a better life. To give up your friends,family,job,home and a country you have spent all your life in to help your family is a brave thing to do.We have the concern also what if things do not work out,but at the end of the day if you ended up returning to the uk you have not messed up your kids life you have just given them one hell of an experience!We went on holiday last year and both my kids did not want to come home ,they would have stayed there with there with their uncle why we came home to get the visa if they could have.Once home a while they do start to worry they will miss people and things but i know once you get there they will be fine.As soon as they have there first friend they will settle.If your heart is telling you its right then do it.At the end of the day your their mum and you have a right to give them a life that altough they may disagree is the right life for them.Dont worry they will love it!!!!!!! Keep in touch and pm me when ever you want.Nikki

sme

No my 13 year old daughter says I am ......we can't both be, can we ?




She's very up and down about Oz as well as being hormonal so I keep telling myself conflict is to be expected. It doesn't make living with her any easier though

don544

hi
my 11 yr old daughter also doesn't want to go. she is one of the only real concerns that we have of going to perth, as she is quite shy at the best of times! but as other posters have said, we really think it is the best in the long term for all of us.
keep strong, Dom