Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
#31
Devil's Advocate
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Mandurah
Posts: 2,269
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
Reminds of a few years ago playing golf with my best mate. I let rip, a particularly good one even if I do say so myself, only to find find him bent over behind me getting something out of his golf bag. His breathing cycles were in phase with sphincter and the poor chap ingested the lot. I say ingested as to this day we're not quite sure how much was inhaled and how much was swallowed. Safe to say though there wasn't a hint of odour left. Made me laugh
#32
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
Reminds of a few years ago playing golf with my best mate. I let rip, a particularly good one even if I do say so myself, only to find find him bent over behind me getting something out of his golf bag. His breathing cycles were in phase with sphincter and the poor chap ingested the lot. I say ingested as to this day we're not quite sure how much was inhaled and how much was swallowed. Safe to say though there wasn't a hint of odour left. Made me laugh
#35
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
I loved my lad's description when he was little........
"It's only a trouser cough"
By the way, NEVER hold back a fart, if you do then the gas can travel up the spinal cord to the brain............. it's where all the shite ideas come from
"It's only a trouser cough"
By the way, NEVER hold back a fart, if you do then the gas can travel up the spinal cord to the brain............. it's where all the shite ideas come from
Last edited by Rossi; May 12th 2011 at 3:34 pm.
#36
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
'tis better to let it out and smell a little
than keep it in and be a cripple
Long and loud wherever you may be
although I'm not sure the poor people next to me in the gym would agree
than keep it in and be a cripple
Long and loud wherever you may be
although I'm not sure the poor people next to me in the gym would agree
#37
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
Should it be discrete or done overtly with aplomb?
Should you cover yourself with a piece of muslin in an attempt to remain unnoticed, or stand up and smile?
Does it matter if there are diners present? “Hey – I have every right to fart in public, and don’t you dare hold your breath, take a good sniff damn you”.
Medical studies have shown the gut dropping is the most healthy thing for a body, and it can’t be timed either side of a meal – especially if it’s in a nice restaurant.
Don’t worry about offending other guests in the cinema or theatre, just drop a noisy one in the quiet parts.
If it’s a noisy bar or disco, go for the deadly silent variety, just so everyone knows you can fart with the best of them.
Don’t go for this expressed farting, getting a seal on the bottle is hard, and you can’t guarantee sterilisation.
On an aircraft where no one can escape? Go for it and give the captive audience a lesson on tolerance. If they can tolerate it, you can put up with the gagging sounds.
At the bus stop and a few minutes to spare? Clear the street with a tsunami causing monster.
Got friends over for a quiet dinner party? Liven it up with a massive blast. Try lighting one from the candelabra.
Farting. You know it makes sense.
(A tribute the breast feeding thread)
Should you cover yourself with a piece of muslin in an attempt to remain unnoticed, or stand up and smile?
Does it matter if there are diners present? “Hey – I have every right to fart in public, and don’t you dare hold your breath, take a good sniff damn you”.
Medical studies have shown the gut dropping is the most healthy thing for a body, and it can’t be timed either side of a meal – especially if it’s in a nice restaurant.
Don’t worry about offending other guests in the cinema or theatre, just drop a noisy one in the quiet parts.
If it’s a noisy bar or disco, go for the deadly silent variety, just so everyone knows you can fart with the best of them.
Don’t go for this expressed farting, getting a seal on the bottle is hard, and you can’t guarantee sterilisation.
On an aircraft where no one can escape? Go for it and give the captive audience a lesson on tolerance. If they can tolerate it, you can put up with the gagging sounds.
At the bus stop and a few minutes to spare? Clear the street with a tsunami causing monster.
Got friends over for a quiet dinner party? Liven it up with a massive blast. Try lighting one from the candelabra.
Farting. You know it makes sense.
(A tribute the breast feeding thread)
Classic....
My son amazes me, for one so young (10) he can let out rippers and they bleedin stink rotten.......its taken me 40 yrs to get were i am with mine...i'm gutted....
Note to self "must try harder" !!!!!!!
BTW Best wait while your out with the OH, drop ur back and run like hell....
#38
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
I know this is light hearted and I've contributed to this thread in a lighthearted manner, but my serious stance on farting and burping in public is that if it's an accident and you excuse yourself and are sufficiently embarrassed by your lack of control, then that's okay, but to blatantly just let rip or belch without covering your mouth and excusing yourself is bad manners. My kids will go to the loo if in public if they have a bit of wind. The boy child lets rip at home like it's his duty and we all run from the room in disgust, it sometimes sounds like a freight train ripping through the bedroom wall in the morning. But my girls who once had farted with gusto got to an age (about fourish) where all hell would break loose if an audible noise was heard from their backside, so the fart fairy was introduced in our house, she comes into the room and sometimes lets of a small noise and faint odour near their bottoms.
#39
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
Does the male of the species ever grow up with regard wind from either bottom or top?
#43
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
I know this is light hearted and I've contributed to this thread in a lighthearted manner, but my serious stance on farting and burping in public is that if it's an accident and you excuse yourself and are sufficiently embarrassed by your lack of control, then that's okay, but to blatantly just let rip or belch without covering your mouth and excusing yourself is bad manners. My kids will go to the loo if in public if they have a bit of wind. The boy child lets rip at home like it's his duty and we all run from the room in disgust, it sometimes sounds like a freight train ripping through the bedroom wall in the morning. But my girls who once had farted with gusto got to an age (about fourish) where all hell would break loose if an audible noise was heard from their backside, so the fart fairy was introduced in our house, she comes into the room and sometimes lets of a small noise and faint odour near their bottoms.
Around the house, I guess it's a given that people fart... but out in public, I think it's plain old disgusting. Call me a public fart prude.
#44
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
I agree that it's bad manners to deliberately and audibly fart in public. I know it's a normal bodily function, but so are many other things... and I don't want to know about them in public either.
Around the house, I guess it's a given that people fart... but out in public, I think it's plain old disgusting. Call me a public fart prude.
Around the house, I guess it's a given that people fart... but out in public, I think it's plain old disgusting. Call me a public fart prude.
Puts on tin hat, steps into trench and waits.
Phaaaaart.
#45
Re: Farting in public. Phaaaarp.
You could add breast feeling to that, but if I mention that it could be seen as a childish way of wining my argument – that some things even though legal and natural, are not seen by all as socially acceptable if not done discreetly.
Puts on tin hat, steps into trench and waits.
Phaaaaart.
Puts on tin hat, steps into trench and waits.
Phaaaaart.
The emission of bacterial gasses from an anus is far removed from the vital nourishment of an infant.
Anyone who has an issue with public breast-feeding is warped.
And I ain't hiding in no trenches...