Cheetah7

After reading just how shocking families can behave when they hear of your migration, I thought a thread dedicated to the appalling behaviour of families and how you dealt with it would be interesting.

Its nice to know you are not alone and I couldnt believe one of the threads this morning about how a BE members family are treating them.

So come on, just how bad did your family behave when they found out you were going to Australia.

I did read about one person whos father refused to move out of the house to try and stop them going.

This is the official 'Ive been made to feel guilty' thread.

Cheetah7

This was the one that shocked me:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=474480

sme

My family have been fairly shitty - my mum has come round after many arguements, my stepdad nolonger speaks to us and neither does my dad
My dad didn't even send me a card for my 40th or christmas. He speaks to my children on the phone, if they phone him - the conversation lasts at maximum 7 minutes (my 14 year old times them).
On a posative note my husbands family have been great !

Cheetah7

I am really coming to terms with the saying of 'its our life and up to us how we live it'

The guilt trips are quite incredible.

sme

It doesn't stop me from feeling guilty though nor upsetting me

Sheff_Sparky

i feel quite upset for anyone who is in this position, your family are supposed to support you, whether they agree with it or not.

My side of the family (apart from mum and my brother) have no ideawe are leaving and never will. Things they have said and done to us when we needed them most made us realise exactly where we stood. Wont go into it, too nasty and i am past it all now.

If members of your family make you feel guilty about your leaving (9 times out of 10 -better life for the kids) then they are not worth worrying about. I know it hurts and you feel dissapionted but you have to do what feels right for YOUR family,not everyone else. You can't please everyone all of the time. They will come round soon enough. x x

I really do hope things get better for anyone made to feel guilty.

Good luck to all of you.

Cheetah7

When you say they will never know you are going, do you reckon if they should ever find out by some way, they will try and get the free holiday like alot of people do?

Sheff_Sparky

i'll pm and give you the short version.

penky

Thats so true, folk that are against me going and have tried to get me to reconsider have quite happily said theyll come out and visit and stay with me for free

Sam

My family have been great....despite the fact they are all hurting that i've come over here and separated the family, we have regular contact with all of them


Alan's are a total different story


They all came to our leaving do, bear in mind his mum hadn't seen the girls for 5 years, we hadn't had contact in any shape with one of his sisters for 8 years and his brother for 5 years!!!!

They all swore undieing (sp) love for Al.... (sod the rest of us )

and















we haven't heard from any of them since being here!

hitchcock71

sod that if famliy could /would not support you/us when we were in the uk why the hell should they get a bloody free holiday :curse::curse:

Cheetah7

Yes please

Im getting the guilt trip at the moment. Not too bad but sometimes it wears a bit thin.

madsad

Sam...hiya babe!

Not even gony go there!! needless to say,we now do have a happy ending (after 21/2years) we speak to Malcolms mum & Dad. and...i now speak to my mum & dad after almost 8yrs!!!

Not all forgotten or forgiven but least we're on the right path,still feels a little awkward tho

Cheetah7

Oh my god, I remember your posts about the family, it was like a soap opera

Funny though, if you turn it around and try and tell your family what to do with their lives, they dont like it.

Dorothy

An excerpt from very early in my BE posting career.

In 1990 my husband (boyfriend at the time) was offered a job in Vancouver which is 5000 km from home. In order for me to go with him, I gave up a wonderful career working for a very well respected ophthalmologist. Sold my condo, sold my car and moved. We had been gone for about 6 weeks when the phone rings one night. It's my sister in law saying that hubby's mother was in the hospital and she needed to have her leg amputated. She's a brittle diabetic and gangrene had set in. "Well," we asked "why hadn't she gone to the doctor sooner?" Answer...Because she was so despondent that Dorothy had taken her son all the way across the country that she couldn't bring herself to go. Somehow I had made her get gangrene, ignore it long enough to have a leg amputated and go into a deep depression. Second leg was because we wouldn't let her organize a huge wedding for us during a planned visit for my parents' 50th anniversary. Problem was, my divorce from my first husband wasn't final yet. We had never even talked about marriage. Again, so despondent that she couldn't throw this wedding that she neglected her health again and had the second leg off.
My children are now 11 1/2 and 9 1/2. She still asks what their names are when we call her. How hard is it to remember Charlotte and Colin? They even have the same last name as her!!

On the other hand...
My parents are wonderful. My father is now 87 1/2 and my mother 82. My dad recently underwent surgery for colon cancer and is now receiving chemotherapy once weekly, but has told us not to bother coming to visit him. He wants us to use our money to travel to places we've never seen and not go back to a place we've spent 40 years in. He emails me almost every day saying how glad he and my mother are that we've got a fun and adventurous life. He tells me regularly that he's proud of each and every one of his children.
That's probably the best gift a parent can give their child, isn't it?