abergas

Hi guys

Since Im so unhappy after six and a half years in WA, to be honest I don't know where I belong, Im lost in this big wide world, anyone else feel the same?

Nu-Shooz

I was unhappy and lost. I took action and went back to what i know best.

Sometimes change isn't always the answer. 6 years in WA (pass me the rope)..i have to hand it to you, you have done well to last that long.

Hope you find a way out and be happy

abergas

Silly isn't it, but I don't really miss the UK it's only my friends and family, but thats a big miss, we have thought about trying another state maybe Victoria. We have had alot of horrible things happen this year and I think it's knocked the wind out of our sails, keep trying though. I just want to be happy

Pollyana

Says it all really

I have no answers my friend, only empathy.......isn't it strange still meeting this way, six years on

Alfresco

I can empathize with you about missing friends and familiy, but one thing I can say after being away from my native homeland for almost 10 years now (having ping ponged), is that your friends will have moved on and made other new friends.

If you ever went back, they would be happy to see you initially and will then carry on with their own lives and other friends. You would need to forge those friendships again to become part of their lives. With family, its the same but to a lesser degree as they are always your family.

If you moved to another state you may feel the same about the friends you've made in WA.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best.

Nu-Shooz

Not altogether true Alfy...i was away 3 years and although my friends and family got on with their own lives, now i am back we have the same perfect friendships as before, if not even better. We all appreciate each other more and see each other all the time. Not everyone turns their back on you.

Alfresco

Of course they don't, and I didn't say they did turn their back on you. To the contrary they are still friends and will accept you back, but in the meantime they usually have made other friends and interests and move on to a degree, some more than others. I also depends on how long you been away from them.

Some move on to different cities and countries and you may not see them soon or again, if my facebook is anything to go by.

All I'm really trying to say is that you can't always carry on from where you left off. You may be fortunate in that you could, and good on you for doing so, and that contributes a lot to your happiness in particular.

I'm also just speaking from personal experience.

Nu-Shooz

Of course, and from my experience too, that's why many things we all post can be useless as it is all our own experience.
Luckily for me, all my friends still live in the exact same place, they couldn't wait for us to return and we see them most weekends. It was only 'us' that moved on and left. Just like you are about to. So that's why you will think differently to me.
When do you go? or have you gone?

Alfresco

I don't think it's all useless information. I glean a lot of information in the form of tips, what to do, what not to do, dangers etc... by reading other peoples experiences on this forum, whether I agree with their overall opinion or not.

I find it a great source of information especially from their experience. That's what it's all about.

We moved from South Africa to the UK, back to S.A. bought a house. Lived very well there. Then contracted in the UK on my own for 6 months (family back home). Went back to S.A. then moved back to the UK. All done with wife and small children in tow.

I'm glad it worked out for you as well as it has.

Petals

I agree that family and friends move on and looking at my life I have had friends come and go at different stages of life. Of course some friends are always there throughout life as are family but not always a good thing, the latter.

Know a few people who have returned to UK then returned to Aus as it was no longer the same, sometimes it takes that to get to settle properly.

quoll

I think displacement is the curse of the expat. You can never go back, you can only go forward to new opportunities and sometimes that going forward means that you do look at the general things that you want out of life and seek opportunities wherever they may be. I dont think you ever can replace those friendships forged over developmental angst - unless they are forged over some other crisis life time - new friendships are much more transitory and go with the flow. I still have those entrenched friendships with my UK mates even after 30 years. We may not write every week but when we get together the conversations are as if there had been no time since our last meeting - they are the "call at 3am friendships" which I really have not found here.

Maybe you could draw up a list of important attributes for your life - your values and expectations - and see where they take you. It may be that they take you back to UK it may not.

merleoberon

I also have to disagree with you on this one - my friends back home are more excited than me about us going back and we've already got tonnes of stuff organised from camping trips to a weekend in New York - plus of course our welcome back party. But this is what i refer to as my real friends - the ones I have so much shared history with and the ones who have been there through thick and thin. these are the ones that can never be replaced, even if i was to stay in australia for 50 years. I know I will always be a part of their lives and vice versa.

people who were acquantancies area a different matter - i had many (very good) acquantancies, people we shared nights out, parties etc with - lovely people but not the real friends type of thing - they will always come and go - the people i have met whilst here are a good example - once we leave it will be emails and xmas cards then just fade away. but not the ones in england.

also - most people on here usually spout on about how they went back and 'nobody had moved on, they were still doing the same old things and talking about the same people' etc which appears to contradict the 'everyone will have moved on with their lives' type of thing.

merleoberon

after 3 years - yes we felt the same but no longer lost as we go back in around 10 weeks time

we have found there are many, many migrants who feel like this but have to stay for various reasons - so you are certainly not alone. i worked with someone who hated it here but his wife refused to go back to the UK so he was resigned to staying and feeling miserable. I just thank god that all our family unit felt the same about moving back - although it did take 6 months of grief to work that out!!

you need a plan - if you cannot move/relocate or whatever, what can you do to give you a better, more fullfilling life here? despite my feelings about perth, I can see that some people manage to have a great life here - how can you tap into some of that?? good luck

abergas

Thanks for replying guys,

Im one of the lucky ones it seems too, all my important friends from the UK have stayed in touch with me over these 6 1/2 years and also visited. They text, email and phone me, they have been rocks especially after this last year. I have found friends here, but it's a different sort of friendship, I also think that it's our state of minds this past year that have isolated us abit, finances being an issue we have been unable to contact friends to go out for meals, coffee etc. Maybe we just need to mope abit before we are ready to move on. We have our dads coming out in 5 weeks time for xmas, so hopefully that will make things abit brighter.

Gems

Hi,
I recently spoke to an Aussie who lived in WA for 9 years.
They said eventually most people get bored with WA and felt it was isolated.
Also bought a house cheaper in the other state.

Basically they moved the family to another state (Partner is from UK).
They have been in the other state for a few years and much happier.
They reckon, the other states give you more options on your days off.
Basically if you live in Victoria you could drive to SA,NSW etc for holidays. Trying to do that from WA its a hell of a long way and usually requires a very long holiday.

Basically your less likely to get so fed up of your own state.

Gems