herrchook

Right, this isn't a very happy thread but I need to write it down so here goes....Look away now if you don't want to be depressed.

When I was young, my Dad's sister went through 10 horrific years of suffering breast cancer, which eventually killed her at 40 years old leaving 2 young daughters behind. Despite being only 13, I remember vividly visiting her in the days before she passed, it still makes me shiver, I can still smell THAT smell, and you know what, I can still remember she was smiling despite the gruesome, painful, hideous suffering.

About 6 year ago, her eldest daughter, who is the same age as me, was diagnosed with breast cancer also. At that time, she opted for a mastectomy in the hope that that would be the end of it.

On Sunday, we heard the news that it now looks like she's got it again and needs to have her ovaries removed. Christ, she's only 35!!!!!! How much more will she have to deal with????

Because of the increased levels of cancer in the family, my cousin has for the last few years been the subject of lots of research, and recent tests have highlighted a dodgy gene. Her councellor now wants the rest of the family tested (including my Dad, sister and brother, and possibly even our kids). Could be months though before we are even called in. She was told not to tell us as we'll need to be councelled first, but she wanted us to know it was coming.

I know there's a LOT of cancer in my Dad's family, and now this has gotten me really upset. I saw what my cousins and Dad went through when my aunt died so young, and I can't bear the thought of my own children going through that. Even worse, I'm feeling guilty in case I've passed any dodgy genes onto my girls Thankfully had a mamogram myself recently which was clear which is helping me keep it in perspective.

Don't really know why I posted this here. My Dad doesn't seem to want to talk about it (understandably) and I think I just needed to write it down so I can move on kind of.

Deep breathe, right, where's the gin? Got a BE meet this weekend with Sorchar, PP and Margaret so that'll keep my chin up

geordie mandy

Gill i sort of understand where you are coming from as my dad's family have various members who have suffered from cancer, his father died of liver cancer and bowel cancer, 2 of his brothers died with lung cancer but liver as secondrys and his eldest sister is dying from lung and breast cancer .
We have all been advised to have checks done as well.
I hope you some how find the strength to have the checks, far better to fight what you know than the unknown.

I often feel as though i could be like a a potential time bomb but mydrs have asuured me that as i live a healthy lifestyle than it will go in my favour.
So hopefully the same will be true for you
Mandy

Jaycee1

You are a very brave person sharing this personal information.
I really feel for you and your family having recently lost my grandad to lung cancer.
It is a terrible disease and I understand your concerns of being tested.
I don't know what else to say but say this from my heart that I will be thinking of you all and sending some K
J x

Sending double gin

herrchook

Thanks Mandy, will defiantely have the checks. Better the devil you know and all that!! Here's hoping all that good living down under will put is in good standing too.

Gill

herrchook

Aww, thanks. I don't really know why I put something so personal on, I just felt I had to share it.

Gill

HiddenPaw

This must be so terrifying for you. But you're right, better the devil you know with something like this. Hugs to you and be strong .

Funnily enough I've got a rather large G&T right here (bad day with the kids!!) so - on a serious note - I'll raise my glass to your good health .

Take care
HPx

herrchook

Thanks, and enjoy the g&t.

ub40fan

Hi Gill

It's hard to know what to say, but I think you are right to have the tests done.

Steve's dad died at 48 of cancer, they never did find the original tumour. His aunt died, also aged 48 of breast cancer. His cousin (the aunt's daughter) also has, and is fighting breast cancer, she is now 50 and has had it for about 4 years. Steve's dad had another sister who happens to be almost 70 and is in good health, as is her daughter. Not sure I know what I am trying to say but I hope it goes this way for you.

Fingers crossed for you.

Thoughts go to your cousin in her fight against this very cruel disease too.

Shirley x

herrchook

Thank you so much Shirley

Cheetah7

This has been something that has been haunting me for some time.

Dont know if anyone can reassure me or if they know, but mums doctor said that its not worth me being tested.

My great grandmother died of liver cancer and Mum died of lung cancer - caused by smoking. I havent lost anyone else in my family to this disease.

I dont know what kind of cancers warrant this blood test and how many generations have to be affected to increase my own risk factors.

Due to Mum going, I am scared for myself (ask Sorchar) but I am scared to be scanned or tested.

I dont know enough about it to know at what point they test you.

Wendy

From what I can remember Sam, it's breast cancer that is heriditary. I was supposed to be tested for the gene before my Mum passed away, however they needed to test her first and she died before we could get it done.

In a strange way, I'm glad that they ddin't test me for it, cos if they'd have found I had the faulty gene, I really don't know what I would have done.

I now have to go for check ups quite regularly, as it is definately in my family. My aunt has had it in both her breasts, but is very lucky that it hasn't spread anywhere else like it did with my mum.

My dad was 48 when he died of Lung cancer, which when I mentioned that to the specialist, she said that wouldn't make any difference to the odds of me getting cancer. I have a 1 in 3 chance of getting it

Herrchook, my thoughts are with you as I know what the thought of having this test is like and the guilt you feel when you think you could have passed it on to your kids.

I hope it all works out for the best

northernbird

I lost my Mum 11 years ago now to kidney cancer which was caused by poor diet and smoking. In my last job before I came to Perth I worked with a nurse whose mother had died from breast cancer. Then one of her sisters died and it was then that the specialist referred them to the Royal Marsden. Over the last 5 years every sister (5 in total) have either died or been diagnosed with womens cancers (breast and ovarian). My colleague took the decision to have a double mastectomy and a full hysterectomy as she was carrying the rogue gene. I am told by her that it is really only breast and ovarian that are attributed to this rogue gene and then only certain forms of breast cancer as there are many different types.

Her consultants at the Royal Marsden have told her that most other cancers are preventable to some degree by alterations in our lifestyle, ie stopping smoking, changing diet and increasing exercise. Did the family members who died have poor diets and lifestyles and did they smoke. If they did then that could explain the high levels of cancer in your family.

Try not to worry too much about it, have the test if it will put your mind at rest. I wish you all the best and will down a large glass of red later tonight thinking about you (red wine is good for you by the way )

Carole x

herrchook

I totally understand what you're going through Sam, sound like it's breast and ovarian cancers that are the problems so your Dr is probably right that you don't need tested. You lost your Mum quit recently so I would think it's only natural to feel like you do. Hopefully, this will fade with time.

Got a big hug for you when we meet next week

herrchook

Carole and Wendy thanks for that. Kind of put it in a better perspective. From what I gather from my Dad, there's a LOT of breast cancer in his family, at least 3 generations that he knows of, but he said that in the older days, a lot of people who had cancer never knew it, they were just shipped off to sanitariums to die My aunt smoked a LOT (it was the late 70's/early 80's) and my cousin smokes too.

I think I'll mention this to my GP next time I'm in. Cousin said it might be a long time before we are contacted. I worry that I might have moved to Oz before it gets done so I'll ask if we can have it done sooner. Had problems recently which led to me having a mammogram which was clear thankfully, so at least I know that I'm all clear for the time being.

I know what you mean about just getting on with life Wendy but my aunt told her doctors for nearly 10 years that something was wrong. They said she was OK, and even referred her to a pychiatrist at one point, then one day, did more tests and by that time her poor body was riddled with cancer and she died soon after. Maybe if she'd had the chance to deal with it earlier she might still be with us.

Geez, this is a depressing thread - anyone know any good jokes

Wendy

The same happened with my dad, he told his doctor that he had back pains and the doc must have thought he wanted time off work, it took him nearly two years to get to see the specialist. By that time is was too late and the cancer was already on its way to his brain.


For me, I'm just going to carry on having regular checks, both at the docs and at home (hubby enjoys it anyway ) If it's meant to be then so be it, I will deal with it then. Nothing else for me to do as I can't have the test without knowing which faulty gene (if any) my mum had.

Now for the joke

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!" Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."