stuckinblighty

Ok Cas i get the hint


Lee

walkermat

Be interesting to get a shrinks point of view. Peoples circumstances change, peoples locations change. As an example, although currently a prolific (and probably quite boring ) writer on BE as I settle and make chums with those living closeby then my use of BE will dwindle.


We have been let down by folk saying they will do something then never hearing from them again and I have been guilty of saying things like 'we must meet up again' with the full intention of not (although I'v never made specific plans which i've then not done). Its human nature; easier to be nice to someones face by saying that another meet would be good and then never seeing them again rather than clumsily saying "I've quite enjoyed your company while in this situation, and you are a very nice person, however my circumstances have changed and you are not 100% on the same wavelengh as me so lets never meet again".

Life is a journey and while on it I've met some fantastic people with great stories. I like to think i have recipricated and folk will rememer me ('you remember that mad wally who told us about when he fell into a cesspit in norther India. A prat, but very entertaining!') in their own way. I think that due to being on this 'Emigration' site most of you will have had to break close friendships at some point - those who had the most difficulty doing that are the ones who probably ultimately end up going back 'home'.

Anyway, time to crack open another tin of p*ss. Partying alone again.



Mat

rabsody

Could the whole focus on expats be part of the problem do you think? I appreciate how hard it is to build friendships again when you move to a new country, but personally I've never been in to the whole expat thing (ironic that I'm on this site then!). Generally I've made friends with Aussies, with a few Brits along the way who I've met through work etc. Personally I don't understand coming to another country and then the main social focus being mixing with Brits. This is not aimed at you Jules, totally understand how hard it is to make friends, just questioning the whole expat thing. Thoughts?

walkermat

Its probably each to their own. When i backpacked (years ago!) I was shocked at folk who would travel to some obscure Country just to eat in a McDonalds or Subway. However, there could well have been legitimate reasons they were doing that and/or fear of food-borne infections. And they may have just liked Subway's! Good for them and bad on me for judging.

So, i dont think there is a 'right way'. If someone is doing something that makes them happy then good oh and it is therefore right for them. We'll make chums in Oz (we are nice people, bl**dy anoying tho and ever so slightly right up our own backsides ), beit Expats or not it doesnt matter at the moment, but it is certainly not 'the right way' its just 'us'.

julesandco

Yeah, I know what you're saying. It's just that this imigration thing is a major aspect of our lives and at least fellow ex-pats can appreciate the stress and associated cr*p that comes with moving your entire existence to the other side of the world.

Perhaps that's the answer. When we get here, we're SO obsessed with our journey and what we've been through to make it here that we meet others and swap stress stories. Once we've got this out of our system, then we can move on.

Stop the thread - I've found the answer. I'm just not ready to move on yet

Jules x

Alan-

About the having this and that thing......

I would imagine that we all prefer nice things, to knackered things, regardless of cost, but If I have something nice, I really appreciate someone who is "genuinely" happy for me.......few and far between ???

Alan.

Wendy

For me, I can be friends with anyone - I will talk to anyone, get on with anyone and can count on two fingers people I have thought 'I really don't like you' all my life (and they were both in the UK quite a few years ago)

I do think though, that the accent tends to draw others with similar accents together. So when you're stood in the school yard and you hear the English accent, they or you tend to say something like 'How long have you been here' etc. Also this site and others like it tend to entice you to meet others coming over.

Maybe it's a bit easier for the people working to meet Australians too, I know when you don't work the only people you meet are the ones at school, or at clubs - that's if you attend them.

I don't think it's a bad thing to meet other expats, just like I don't think it's a bad thing to meet Aussies or any other nationality. Some people you get on with and others you don't, just how it is I guess.

When I first got here, the first person I met was my friend Julia - we get on like a house on fire and I count myself lucky to have met her so soon after arriving (only three weeks). She is English, and comes form the same part of the UK I did, and also went to school with my hubby (small world eh! ). But I don't care where she comes from, all I know is that she is a great friend.

Weirdstone

There are exceptions..

@boy

Avoid all expats when you first move out here. It may be out of your comfort zone, but just focus on your new circle of dinky-di ocker friends.
Thats the best advice I can give you ;-)

We moved from Ireland 5 years ago and mainly thanks to our hobby of Paragliding, ended up with an immediate network of friends through our local paragliding club. Our social circle naturally extended out through all of those people and all of their non flying friends and as a result it made our transition here very easy.

Obviously, it is easier to do this if you have a sport or hobby to get involved in here, or if you work in a large multicultural environment, otherwise you will probably gravitate towards 'your own kind' and possibly never get to experience what you came out here to find in the first place.

I can honestly say now that we hardly know any Irish people here as we do not hang out in Irish bars or do any typical 'Irish' things.

Its honest advice, from the heart and I have found it to be true for many of the emigrants I have seen come out here since we have been here.

Best of luck with the transition - it does take a little while to adapt.

Regards

Barney
www.barneyhenry.com

ub40fan

No, I don't think so. I don't mind who has what, and if you're happy with what you have then I am happy for you.

BUT I don't want it rammed down my throat how much better yours is than mine, and that I really should be getting what you have. If I am happy with what I have then don't try to make me feel bad about not having what you have.

Alan-

Hmmmm,

That' exactly what I'm say, but in a less aggressive way. A truly genuine and honest person can be happy for you, if you have something nice.

If you can't believe that person's sincerity, and feel it must always be a put down, may be it's more of an underlying problem, that may hinder the retention of good friends ????

Alan.

aston man

yes

julesandco

To the point as ever, Ast

Bobcat

It's amazing really.............. the arseholes who didn't want to know us when we were down and out in Wanneroo ..........now actually wave to us if they see me in the Jag?

Pogue mahone ..............the lot of them.

One group wouldn't even speak to us when we picked the kids up at school...... or if they saw us at the shops......... mind you when i volunteered to be santa clause at the school party............. they were friendly for a day? Back to normal once the schools went back after holidays!

If we weren't good enough to be befriended when we were unemployed and had nowt .................. tables have turned now............ many years of hard work has meant we now have the fruits of our labour to show for it............ but that hasn't changed us as people.

You didn't want to know us when we were poor ............ we don't want to know you now we're not!!!

Pogue mahone again

stuckinblighty