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-   -   A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/distorted-view-world-goodbye-byford-two-769833/)

eddie007 Aug 29th 2012 1:39 am

A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Talk about a distorted view on the world...

Am preparing to say goodbye to Charlie... Our beautiful boy... Who after 12 years and 13,000 miles is no longer enjoying life.

He had major surgery a few months ago...we were told at the time it was an absess and the tissue sent for sampling wasnt cancer... Did well for a while... But has been going downhill .. Had a very nasty infection of unknown origin a few weeks ago, his bloods came back showing a clear picture of cancer, he is neutropenic and not eating ... No more than a small handfull of handfed biscuits a day...

He still seeks Gorgeous out and spends hours washing him and rubbing his face against him.. But is so frail it can't go on... We were taking him into the vets to be put down today at 4pm. But I cant face it... Being a cat with a few brain cells left he HATES the vets... So I've cancelled that appointment and have asked for a house call.... It will either be this afternoon or in the morning.

Is it because he is so very special? Is it because he has an unatural relationship with my eldest son? remember the advert of the kid growing up and moving away from home, him coming back to visit and the cat leaping on him in delight? Well that could have been based on George and Charlie, only it was every day that Charlie lept on George and loved him to pieces... Ever since George was 3 or 4 years old... Its just not "right"

Or is it that so far away from home and not a little homesick its another bond with the mother country that is being broken?

Is it because, unlike with humans...where medical science is reasonably exact in palliative care and pts can tell you how they feel and what they want and you can respect their wishes? , with animals they are TOTALLY dependent upon you to do the right thing and make the best decision... And the vets? their answer is ... You KNOW your cat, you KNOW whether he is happy or not only you really know whats best for him....

Well I'm sorry, I dont know.. Yes I do, but I dont want to admit it... i dont want him to suffer, we decided weeks ago not to put him through surgery and chemotherapy...didnt think it was fair to him......

And this is the consequence of that decision... That I have to live with.


**** me... Its not like my mate who was a vietnamese boat refuggee who lost most of his family during the vietnam war and had to eat the family pet cat when they were starving to death.... And risked his life to escape to a safer, better life...

Why such a distorted view on this? Why the tears and irrational overwhelming pain?

He is just a cat:(

herrchook Aug 29th 2012 1:48 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
He's not just a cat....he's your cat :(

As the owner of two elderly cats myself I dread the day they become so ill but I hope that when the time comes, I can face it with the bravery and loyalty you are showing.

Thinking of you xx

eddie007 Aug 29th 2012 1:59 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
I can't ****ing cope with this... I have a 5 ft 10, 85kg, nearly 16 years old "man child" lying on my bed holding his cat sobbing and the cat is licking away his tears... And laying his head on his face...

herrchook Aug 29th 2012 2:08 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 

Originally Posted by eddie007 (Post 10251792)
I can't ****ing cope with this... I have a 5 ft 10, 85kg, nearly 16 years old "man child" lying on my bed holding his cat sobbing and the cat is licking away his tears... And laying his head on his face...

I am so sad for you both. There are no words :(

carolinephillips Aug 29th 2012 2:09 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Massive hugs for you. (((())))

It isn't "just an animal"- he is part of your life and you have invested time and emotions into him, just as you would a child.

It is so hard saying goodbye, knowing that it is your decision, that it is to stop suffering, but it is so final and irrevocable and you feel guilty, as if it is somehow your fault. And your child will be hurting too and you feel bad about that......

Sh*t.
I'm not trying to assume how you feel- it just brought all my own feeling about my cat to the surface.

Sorry sorry sorry.

eddie007 Aug 29th 2012 2:20 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Youre right its the pain george is in thats killing me most.... Seeing a grown manchild holding his cat and sobbing is the worst....

I know that once he has gone we csn start remembering just how special this cat was, what a wonderful relationship he had with a child...who grew up... How close they were ... How happy they alwaysnwere together.. How george would gather up his friend and stomp off to his room to spend time with the only being who truely understood him when he was stroppy... And how charlie comforted him during his depression last year...... The look on georges face when charlie arrived here in australia years after us....i didnt tell him he was comng andndidnt take him to visit in quarentine... Hence the byford two... How charlie meowed and meowed andnleapt on top of him rubbing his face against him lickinghim when the met again... The pure joy that cat expressed at finsing his george again.....

Its going to be easier once its done... Its the waiting

old.sparkles Aug 29th 2012 3:17 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Eddie - I'm so sorry for you and for your son. I wish there were some magic words I could say that would make everything easier but there's not so sending hugs instead :)

paulandcelia Aug 29th 2012 3:51 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
I am so sorry, he isnt just a cat they are part of the family, we had to make the same decision for our lovely old scruffy mongrel 5 years ago and it seems like yesterday, broke my little boys heart at the time and he still gets upset now if he talks about him, he was only 5 and he had lost his best friend who had always been there for him to have a hug with, its the hardest thing you will have to do, take care

eddie007 Aug 29th 2012 6:57 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Rest In Peace Charlie

Cheetah7 Aug 29th 2012 8:19 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Should not have read this at work.:(

Eddie, it is so hard doing the right thing when it hurts so much but as you say, they are totally reliant on us doing just that.

Hugs xxxxx

WestLondonWelshman Aug 29th 2012 5:01 pm

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Commiserations, I know how you feel. We lost our little white cat Zach a few months back. We still miss him :(

koalakim Aug 30th 2012 10:13 am

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
Hi Eddie

We've lost two elderly cats where we were in the UK so know exactly what you are going through right now.

OH and I were sobbing our hearts out both times in the vets as we said goodbyes and even now over 5 years later I still could burst into tears at having lost our special mates.

Our boy was 21 3/4 when we lost him and 18 for her, it's a long time and relationship with them. He had a bad infection which he pulled through from but left him with tummy troubles then the kidneys started to fail and we knew he wouldn't have much longer and we had booked our emigration date (as time was running out for us to go!) so we knew we would have to do the inevitable but we just couldn't and were going to leave it to the last possible moment. However, he decided it was time for him to go two weeks before we left and we were so grateful the decision had been made for us. We still had to have him put to sleep, I was really hoping he would just pass away, but he did look at me and his eyes said "Mum, it's time" OMG I'm crying as I write this, some days in life just stick with you forever.....However, doesn't make it any easier even when you know they are failing.

Big, big hugs to you and your family :(

Chortlepuss Sep 1st 2012 11:53 pm

Re: A distorted View of The World-Goodbye the Byford Two
 
So sad :(
I haven't got over losing my special cat in 2000, so can't offer you any real help apart from to say I'm sorry. They are such a part of life with such large personalities - no wonder you're feeling miserable. Those final cuddles are a killer :angel::angel:


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