Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

Have any more established immigrants experienced a great first couple of years and then started feeling a bit down and missing family and friends more all of a sudden? We are good and settled and have a lovely life, but now I find myself struggling a little as we approach the 2 year mark here, plus we travelled before arriving so is almost 3 years since have seen any family or close friends. I wonder if this is just to do with getting pregnant as soon as we arrived (intentional, but in hindsight not recommended unless like me you're getting on a bit and don't have time to waste, it has been a tough road!!) and having everything overtaken by that and just now coming up for air a bit now my daughter has turned 1, or is this is something other people have experienced at this point in their immigration journey?

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

The two year blues are very very common, don't worry you're not going mad.:D It's like the visa journey, the move, the settling down, jobs blah blah blah are a distant memory and you suddenly realise this is it and OMG kind of thing. And having had a baby as well, your brain and hormones are just coming back to relative normality. If you're happy and settled, just wade through the turmoil, if you're not, just wade through the...... no, ;) perhaps try and sort a visit back just to 'make sure'? Depends on finances obviously but it works for many. It also shows others that this isn't home and confirms that UK is.

It is normal though. There just a few weird people like me who didn't suffer it thankfully.

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

I know I don't want to move back to UK, and we can't afford to go back and visit. Home is here now. It's just a bit "difficult" atm. Of course you're right re the impact of having a baby too. I also think I will be a lot happier actually once we get PR, hopefully not too long now as we can apply at the start of December. It's a bit of a limbo thing on temp res, even tho it's pretty much a given that PR is the next step. I think - hope - I'll experience a mental shift once I know we can for sure plan for an Australian future. Plus of course we will get child benefits at last which will be a great help.

I suspected it may all be part of the process, and am comforted somewhat to know that that is indeed the case! Cheers :)

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

I have been here just over 3 years and I find missing family and friends is worse now than it has ever been.

Usually it's when i've heard news (good or bad) from friends/family in the UK and I feel like I live a million miles away! :eek:

I just think that this was my decision and no-one elses, so a good cry usually helps! I then pull myself together and enjoy the rest of my day.... in the sun :thumbsup:

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

Yeah a couple of people have died since we left and it's almost like they're not dead because we live in this other reality and I haven't seen anyone in all that time, if that makes sense. It's a bit unhinging. Also my daughter's first birthday was this week and she's never met a single member of her family which makes me sad. We are so lucky to have made some lovely friends here and she had a great little party in the park and lots of love from everyone, but it does set me thinking on what we don't have, IYKWIM. But, that's the thing as you say - we chose this, and we chose well, and every time I see a lorikeet in the garden or walk by the ocean, as we do so often, I feel incredibly blessed. It is what it is, and family coming in 2012 soon, 3 lots, which will be so fab :)

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

She looks seriously cute :D

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

Aw thanks :)

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

The time as a temporary resident is stressful. Stress can lead to depression. Being in limbo is a bit of a swine.

The first year or so is a busy time. As you get more settled you get more time to reflect and then the little worries set in.

I think this year, all over Oz the weather hasn't been very cheerful either. Most of us can deal with one thing at a time but lump a few together and it can get difficult.

All will be well I'm sure. :)

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

Weather is just fine here on the Banana Coast - best climate in the world, ya know! :p Helps a lot when feeling a leeetle bit blue :) Late winter here is a Scottish summer, gotta love that!

I am reflective atm, yes, and haven't had time to be so since we got here due to pregnancy, birth, tiny baby time...it all makes sense that I should feel this way...still, it does suck a bit at times as I must just be a brave mummy and get on with things. We'll get there tho. Have fab husband, and lovely friends. And again, I am comforted to know that it's normal to feel like this a bit at this point in the immigration proceedings. All will be well indeed, and while it's a bit pish, well jeez I'm not in a victorian tenement in dark, grey wet Glasgow with winter approaching....so it could be a whole lot worse ;)

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

nowt wrong with victorian tenements, they'll last another 150 years unlike 99% of the houses in Australia!

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

In my experience it has got worse as my son has got older because there are so many changes in the early years that family are missing out on, even if they do visit it's not the same as being able to show him off properly. & now he is 3 he is aware that granny & grandad etc aren't around all the time & that contact is limited to webcams & phonecalls. Sometimes it is really heartbreaking to explain why he can't have grandad help him with his bike or whatever.

It may be just a blip for you of course, as I do find that occasions like birthdays, xmas, etc can make you more reflective when they occur, then you just get back into the normal routine & it recedes & you can get on with stuff, if you're lucky!

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

We've been here nearly 3 years too. When we arrived we had a 7 month old baby and I then got pregnant within the first week of arriving. I haven't felt homesick yet but I think it's do with the fact that we've had a lot of visitors; my mum's been over twice once with my dad and once without, we've had my brother here, my in-laws and a couple of friends. It's hard to say whether we would've have felt homesick if we didn't have those visits, my answer is probably, a little bit.

Are you able to Skype some family members? It's not the same but it does help. Are you a member of a mums and bubs groups? I joined one after my 2nd was born and it really helped, got me out of the house, made a few friends and built more of a network around me, try www.bubhub.com.au for ones near you :)

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

That is interesting, thank you. It's an aspect of the process that I hadn't considered in the slightest (along with many other realities of parenthood ;) )

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

usually it is whenever you have time to sit and think that you start feeling like this, or as has been said when there is an emotional milestone, most of the time you are too busy to think about it .

Re: Curious.... 2-3 year blues?
 

Hey. I made the decision to force myself to go to mothers groups even if I didn't feel like it (which I often didn't) from when Miss M was about 8 weeks old. It was the best thing I could have done because I now have a lovely support network of mums with regular walks and playdates, plus all us mums go out one night a month, plus a book club....actually I think Miss M and I might do to much and need to cut back, it's just I have found it easier to be out than in especially recently, but I think we could maybe do with a bit more calm. I am studying as well plus volunteering at Lifeline and both these things have kept me balanced, but perhaps I take on too much in the way of random coffees and playdates and then the house falls apart and things start to get on top of me!

Oh yeah and we skype and Facebook Europe heaps :)

I'm not homesick and I don't want to go back. I think / hope this is just a phase... really I'm just finally able to take stock of things after the tiny baby madness and I think I'm just struggling a bit to come to terms with how much my life has changed in every respect in the past 2 years, it's been a bit of a wild ride and mentally perhaps I just need some time to catch up with myself.

Thanks for taking the time to post :)