British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
Jul 23rd 2008, 8:54 pm
#1
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,999
British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
Below are my proposals for the next version of the highway code*
1. Right of Way. You always have right of way because you are special. It doesn’t matter where or when you are driving: you always have right of way.
2. Stopping Distance. Studies in aerodynamics have shown that if you drive really close to the car in front, you will save 25% of your fuel costs due to the reduced drag. Large white vans particularly benefit from this, so it is recommended you always drive within 20mm from the rear bumper of the car in front, especially if you are driving in excess of 70mph and in rainy conditions.
3. Roundabouts. At roundabouts the protocol is simple: everyone gives way to you, whether they are on your right or left. The best way to achieve this is to drive as fast as possible on the approach to the roundabout and “fly” across it at speed, hoping for best. If however you are approaching a busy roundabout, the protocol is to wait either for 10 seconds or until three cars have passed you, and then you are allowed to pull out whether a car is coming or not.
4. Joining A Roads (with heavy traffic). When joining A Roads from smaller roads, the procedure is as follows: wait until the gap in the traffic is more than two car lengths and then skid out on to the main road as fast as possible, no matter how fast the traffic flow is going. The person braking and skidding behind you and flashing their lights to express their anger is wrong. You may now stick your finger up at him.
5. Joining A Road (with light traffic). Simply speed up on approach and skid out on the main road as fast as possible. Then, reduce speed to 20% below the road’s limit and drag everyone behind you until the next stretch of dual carriage-way. If the right hand lane is free but the left hand lane is busy, you may pull onto the right hand lane and park there until the lane you are joining becomes free. The build up of traffic you see on your right has nothing to do with you sitting on their road. Remember: you are special and you always have right of way. You may now stick your finger up at them.
6. Getting up to Speed. The procedure is to get as much speed as possible in as little time as possible. This is always the procedure and applies to all roads and conditions. Even on dual carriage-way stretches only a quarter of a mile long it is imperative you get up to at least 75 mph before the end of the stretch. Protocol then is to brake and skid all over the place, and then tail-gate the car in front until the next dual carriage-way.
7. General speed limits. The best approach to the speed limit is to ignore it totally. If the limit is 50mph you should drive at either 80mph or 30mph. In rainy conditions increase your speed as much as possible and do not switch your lights on until you can no longer see your face in your rear-view mirror.
8. Overtaking. Overtaking may be done on any road in any conditions at any time. The best places to overtake are on blind bends or when approaching the brow of a hill. In a 50 mile-long line of traffic driving at 45mph, you may “leap-frog” cars one-by-one all the way to work. Overtaking trucks is best done on blind bends, even though you know there are 50 more trucks ahead of you all doing the limit and you are endangering everyone’s lives for nothing. As you overtake the truck, you may stick your finger up at the driver.
9. Traffic Lights. You must stop at traffic lights if they have been red for a minimum of five seconds. You may drive through red lights if they have been red for less time than this.
10. Indication. While most modern cars no longer have indicators fitted, if you have an older model with an indicator, you must only use it to give confusing signals to the driver behind. Signal right when going round a pot-hole, for example, but not when actually turning right two minutes later. Also, another method is to drive 15 miles with the right or left signal flashing all the way. It's only courtesy, after all. If anyone alerts you to the this, you may stick your finger up at him.
11. Use of brakes. When driving in a "wagon-train" of cars, fifty miles long at 40mph, it is important you use your brakes every seven seconds so the car behind is kept on guard at all times. Do not try and regulate your speed and distance from the car in front of you: this is bad driving. Instead, continue to close up to the car in front, then hit the brakes, in a repeating cycle for the entire journey. This keeps Kwik-Fit in business and your right leg exercised!
12. Discarding waste. Any litter or waste can be ejected through your side window. Simply push the button to roll down the window electronically, then using a swinging motion with your arm, hurl the object from the window. The ash tray in your car is in no way meant to be used. Instead, you must flick the lit cigarette butt out the window at the car behind. If it gets jammed in their radiator and causes an engine fire, you get a prize. Well done. If the driver of the car behind has a problem with you flicking lit cigarettes at his car, you may stick your finger up at him.
*Just a joke, chaps. It's not supposed to elicit any rants or pissing contests between which country has the most ignorant drivers. Tales of outrageous driving from all countries welcome here!
1. Right of Way. You always have right of way because you are special. It doesn’t matter where or when you are driving: you always have right of way.
2. Stopping Distance. Studies in aerodynamics have shown that if you drive really close to the car in front, you will save 25% of your fuel costs due to the reduced drag. Large white vans particularly benefit from this, so it is recommended you always drive within 20mm from the rear bumper of the car in front, especially if you are driving in excess of 70mph and in rainy conditions.
3. Roundabouts. At roundabouts the protocol is simple: everyone gives way to you, whether they are on your right or left. The best way to achieve this is to drive as fast as possible on the approach to the roundabout and “fly” across it at speed, hoping for best. If however you are approaching a busy roundabout, the protocol is to wait either for 10 seconds or until three cars have passed you, and then you are allowed to pull out whether a car is coming or not.
4. Joining A Roads (with heavy traffic). When joining A Roads from smaller roads, the procedure is as follows: wait until the gap in the traffic is more than two car lengths and then skid out on to the main road as fast as possible, no matter how fast the traffic flow is going. The person braking and skidding behind you and flashing their lights to express their anger is wrong. You may now stick your finger up at him.
5. Joining A Road (with light traffic). Simply speed up on approach and skid out on the main road as fast as possible. Then, reduce speed to 20% below the road’s limit and drag everyone behind you until the next stretch of dual carriage-way. If the right hand lane is free but the left hand lane is busy, you may pull onto the right hand lane and park there until the lane you are joining becomes free. The build up of traffic you see on your right has nothing to do with you sitting on their road. Remember: you are special and you always have right of way. You may now stick your finger up at them.
6. Getting up to Speed. The procedure is to get as much speed as possible in as little time as possible. This is always the procedure and applies to all roads and conditions. Even on dual carriage-way stretches only a quarter of a mile long it is imperative you get up to at least 75 mph before the end of the stretch. Protocol then is to brake and skid all over the place, and then tail-gate the car in front until the next dual carriage-way.
7. General speed limits. The best approach to the speed limit is to ignore it totally. If the limit is 50mph you should drive at either 80mph or 30mph. In rainy conditions increase your speed as much as possible and do not switch your lights on until you can no longer see your face in your rear-view mirror.
8. Overtaking. Overtaking may be done on any road in any conditions at any time. The best places to overtake are on blind bends or when approaching the brow of a hill. In a 50 mile-long line of traffic driving at 45mph, you may “leap-frog” cars one-by-one all the way to work. Overtaking trucks is best done on blind bends, even though you know there are 50 more trucks ahead of you all doing the limit and you are endangering everyone’s lives for nothing. As you overtake the truck, you may stick your finger up at the driver.
9. Traffic Lights. You must stop at traffic lights if they have been red for a minimum of five seconds. You may drive through red lights if they have been red for less time than this.
10. Indication. While most modern cars no longer have indicators fitted, if you have an older model with an indicator, you must only use it to give confusing signals to the driver behind. Signal right when going round a pot-hole, for example, but not when actually turning right two minutes later. Also, another method is to drive 15 miles with the right or left signal flashing all the way. It's only courtesy, after all. If anyone alerts you to the this, you may stick your finger up at him.
11. Use of brakes. When driving in a "wagon-train" of cars, fifty miles long at 40mph, it is important you use your brakes every seven seconds so the car behind is kept on guard at all times. Do not try and regulate your speed and distance from the car in front of you: this is bad driving. Instead, continue to close up to the car in front, then hit the brakes, in a repeating cycle for the entire journey. This keeps Kwik-Fit in business and your right leg exercised!
12. Discarding waste. Any litter or waste can be ejected through your side window. Simply push the button to roll down the window electronically, then using a swinging motion with your arm, hurl the object from the window. The ash tray in your car is in no way meant to be used. Instead, you must flick the lit cigarette butt out the window at the car behind. If it gets jammed in their radiator and causes an engine fire, you get a prize. Well done. If the driver of the car behind has a problem with you flicking lit cigarettes at his car, you may stick your finger up at him.
*Just a joke, chaps. It's not supposed to elicit any rants or pissing contests between which country has the most ignorant drivers. Tales of outrageous driving from all countries welcome here!
Last edited by Tableland; Jul 23rd 2008 at 9:29 pm.
Jul 23rd 2008, 9:26 pm
#2
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 9,316
Re: British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
And remember. The more expensive your car the more right of way you have 
Jul 23rd 2008, 9:30 pm
#3
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 94
Re: British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
Below are my proposals for the next version of the highway code*
1. Right of Way. You always have right of way because you are special. It doesn’t matter where or when you are driving: you always have right of way.
2. Stopping Distance. Studies in aerodynamics have shows that if you drive really close to the car in front, you will save 25% of your fuel costs due to the reduced drag. Large white vans particularly benefit from this, so it is recommended you always drive within 20mm from the rear bumper of the car in front, especially if you are driving in excess of 70mph and in rainy conditions.
3. Roundabouts. At roundabouts the protocol is simple: everyone gives way to you, whether they are on your right or left. The best way to achieve this is to drive as fast as possible on the approach to the roundabout and “fly” across it at speed, hoping for best. If however you are approaching a busy roundabout, the protocol is to wait either for 10 seconds or until three cars have passed you, and then you are allowed to pull out whether a car is coming or not.
4. Joining A Roads (with heavy traffic). When joining A Roads from smaller roads, the procedure is as follows: wait until the gap in the traffic is more than two car lengths and then skid out on to the main road as fast as possible, no matter how fast the traffic flow is going. The person braking and skidding behind you and flashing their lights to express their anger is wrong. You may now stick your finger up at him.
5. Joining A Road (with light traffic). Simply speed up on approach and skid out on the main road as fast as possible. Then, reduce speed to 20% below the road’s limit and drag everyone behind you until the next stretch of dual carriage-way. If the right hand lane is free but the left hand lane is busy, you may pull onto the right hand lane and park there until the lane you are joining becomes free. The build up of traffic you see on your right has nothing to do with you sitting on their road. Remember: you are special and you always have right of way. You may now stick your finger up at them.
6. Getting up to Speed. The procedure is to get as much speed as possible in as little time as possible. This is always the procedure and applies to all roads and conditions. Even on dual carriage-way stretches only a quarter of a mile long it is imperative you get up to at least 75 mph before the end of the stretch. Protocol then is to brake and skid all over the place, and then tail-gate the car in front until the next dual carriage-way.
7. General speed limits. The best approach to the speed limit is to ignore it totally. If the limit is 50mph you should drive at either 80mph or 30mph. In rainy conditions increase your speed as much as possible and do not switch your lights on until you can no longer see your face in your rear-view mirror.
8. Overtaking. Overtaking may be done on any road in any conditions at any time. The best places to overtake are on blind bends or when approaching the brow of a hill. In a 50 mile-long line of traffic driving at 45mph, you may “leap-frog” cars one-by-one all the way to work. Overtaking trucks is best done on blind bends, even though you know there are 50 more trucks ahead of you all doing the limit and you are endangering everyone’s lives for nothing. As you overtake the truck, you may stick your finger up at the driver.
9. Traffic Lights. You must stop at traffic lights if they have been red for a minimum of five seconds. You may drive through red lights if they have been red for less time than this.
10. Indication. While most modern cars no longer have indicators fitted, if you have an older model with an indicator, you must only use it to give confusing signals to the driver behind. Signal right when going round a pot-hole, for example, but not when actually turning right two minutes later. Also, another method is to drive 15 miles with the right or left signal flashing all the way. It's only courtesy, after all. If anyone alerts you to the this, you may stick your finger up at him.
11. Use of brakes. When driving in a "wagon-train" of cars, fifty miles long at 40mph, it is important you use your brakes every seven seconds so the car behind is kept on guard at all times. Do not try and regulate your speed and distance from the car in front of you: this is bad driving. Instead, continue to close up to the car in front, then hit the brakes, in a repeating cycle for the entire journey. This keeps Kwik-Fit in business and your right leg exercised!
12. Discarding waste. Any litter or waste can be ejected through your side window. Simply push the button to roll down the window electronically, then using a swinging motion with your arm, hurl the object from the window. The ash tray in your car is in no way meant to be used. Instead, you must flick the lit cigarette butt out the window at the car behind. If it gets jammed in their radiator and causes an engine fire, you get a prize. Well done. If the driver of the car behind has a problem with you flicking lit cigarettes at his car, you may stick your finger up at him.
*Just a joke, chaps. It's not supposed to elicit any rants or pissing contests between which country has the most ignorant drivers. Tales of outrageous driving from all countries welcome here!
1. Right of Way. You always have right of way because you are special. It doesn’t matter where or when you are driving: you always have right of way.
2. Stopping Distance. Studies in aerodynamics have shows that if you drive really close to the car in front, you will save 25% of your fuel costs due to the reduced drag. Large white vans particularly benefit from this, so it is recommended you always drive within 20mm from the rear bumper of the car in front, especially if you are driving in excess of 70mph and in rainy conditions.
3. Roundabouts. At roundabouts the protocol is simple: everyone gives way to you, whether they are on your right or left. The best way to achieve this is to drive as fast as possible on the approach to the roundabout and “fly” across it at speed, hoping for best. If however you are approaching a busy roundabout, the protocol is to wait either for 10 seconds or until three cars have passed you, and then you are allowed to pull out whether a car is coming or not.
4. Joining A Roads (with heavy traffic). When joining A Roads from smaller roads, the procedure is as follows: wait until the gap in the traffic is more than two car lengths and then skid out on to the main road as fast as possible, no matter how fast the traffic flow is going. The person braking and skidding behind you and flashing their lights to express their anger is wrong. You may now stick your finger up at him.
5. Joining A Road (with light traffic). Simply speed up on approach and skid out on the main road as fast as possible. Then, reduce speed to 20% below the road’s limit and drag everyone behind you until the next stretch of dual carriage-way. If the right hand lane is free but the left hand lane is busy, you may pull onto the right hand lane and park there until the lane you are joining becomes free. The build up of traffic you see on your right has nothing to do with you sitting on their road. Remember: you are special and you always have right of way. You may now stick your finger up at them.
6. Getting up to Speed. The procedure is to get as much speed as possible in as little time as possible. This is always the procedure and applies to all roads and conditions. Even on dual carriage-way stretches only a quarter of a mile long it is imperative you get up to at least 75 mph before the end of the stretch. Protocol then is to brake and skid all over the place, and then tail-gate the car in front until the next dual carriage-way.
7. General speed limits. The best approach to the speed limit is to ignore it totally. If the limit is 50mph you should drive at either 80mph or 30mph. In rainy conditions increase your speed as much as possible and do not switch your lights on until you can no longer see your face in your rear-view mirror.
8. Overtaking. Overtaking may be done on any road in any conditions at any time. The best places to overtake are on blind bends or when approaching the brow of a hill. In a 50 mile-long line of traffic driving at 45mph, you may “leap-frog” cars one-by-one all the way to work. Overtaking trucks is best done on blind bends, even though you know there are 50 more trucks ahead of you all doing the limit and you are endangering everyone’s lives for nothing. As you overtake the truck, you may stick your finger up at the driver.
9. Traffic Lights. You must stop at traffic lights if they have been red for a minimum of five seconds. You may drive through red lights if they have been red for less time than this.
10. Indication. While most modern cars no longer have indicators fitted, if you have an older model with an indicator, you must only use it to give confusing signals to the driver behind. Signal right when going round a pot-hole, for example, but not when actually turning right two minutes later. Also, another method is to drive 15 miles with the right or left signal flashing all the way. It's only courtesy, after all. If anyone alerts you to the this, you may stick your finger up at him.
11. Use of brakes. When driving in a "wagon-train" of cars, fifty miles long at 40mph, it is important you use your brakes every seven seconds so the car behind is kept on guard at all times. Do not try and regulate your speed and distance from the car in front of you: this is bad driving. Instead, continue to close up to the car in front, then hit the brakes, in a repeating cycle for the entire journey. This keeps Kwik-Fit in business and your right leg exercised!
12. Discarding waste. Any litter or waste can be ejected through your side window. Simply push the button to roll down the window electronically, then using a swinging motion with your arm, hurl the object from the window. The ash tray in your car is in no way meant to be used. Instead, you must flick the lit cigarette butt out the window at the car behind. If it gets jammed in their radiator and causes an engine fire, you get a prize. Well done. If the driver of the car behind has a problem with you flicking lit cigarettes at his car, you may stick your finger up at him.
*Just a joke, chaps. It's not supposed to elicit any rants or pissing contests between which country has the most ignorant drivers. Tales of outrageous driving from all countries welcome here!
It turned out being more interesting that what I thought
Jul 23rd 2008, 11:35 pm
#4
Anything,Anytime,Anywhere
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: The Magic Roundabout
Posts: 8,141
Re: British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
I assume more people would take notice of this version than the official one?
Jul 24th 2008, 12:50 pm
#6
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 184
Re: British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
Below are my proposals for the next version of the highway code*
1. Right of Way. You always have right of way because you are special. It doesn’t matter where or when you are driving: you always have right of way.
2. Stopping Distance. Studies in aerodynamics have shown that if you drive really close to the car in front, you will save 25% of your fuel costs due to the reduced drag. Large white vans particularly benefit from this, so it is recommended you always drive within 20mm from the rear bumper of the car in front, especially if you are driving in excess of 70mph and in rainy conditions.
3. Roundabouts. At roundabouts the protocol is simple: everyone gives way to you, whether they are on your right or left. The best way to achieve this is to drive as fast as possible on the approach to the roundabout and “fly” across it at speed, hoping for best. If however you are approaching a busy roundabout, the protocol is to wait either for 10 seconds or until three cars have passed you, and then you are allowed to pull out whether a car is coming or not.
4. Joining A Roads (with heavy traffic). When joining A Roads from smaller roads, the procedure is as follows: wait until the gap in the traffic is more than two car lengths and then skid out on to the main road as fast as possible, no matter how fast the traffic flow is going. The person braking and skidding behind you and flashing their lights to express their anger is wrong. You may now stick your finger up at him.
5. Joining A Road (with light traffic). Simply speed up on approach and skid out on the main road as fast as possible. Then, reduce speed to 20% below the road’s limit and drag everyone behind you until the next stretch of dual carriage-way. If the right hand lane is free but the left hand lane is busy, you may pull onto the right hand lane and park there until the lane you are joining becomes free. The build up of traffic you see on your right has nothing to do with you sitting on their road. Remember: you are special and you always have right of way. You may now stick your finger up at them.
6. Getting up to Speed. The procedure is to get as much speed as possible in as little time as possible. This is always the procedure and applies to all roads and conditions. Even on dual carriage-way stretches only a quarter of a mile long it is imperative you get up to at least 75 mph before the end of the stretch. Protocol then is to brake and skid all over the place, and then tail-gate the car in front until the next dual carriage-way.
7. General speed limits. The best approach to the speed limit is to ignore it totally. If the limit is 50mph you should drive at either 80mph or 30mph. In rainy conditions increase your speed as much as possible and do not switch your lights on until you can no longer see your face in your rear-view mirror.
8. Overtaking. Overtaking may be done on any road in any conditions at any time. The best places to overtake are on blind bends or when approaching the brow of a hill. In a 50 mile-long line of traffic driving at 45mph, you may “leap-frog” cars one-by-one all the way to work. Overtaking trucks is best done on blind bends, even though you know there are 50 more trucks ahead of you all doing the limit and you are endangering everyone’s lives for nothing. As you overtake the truck, you may stick your finger up at the driver.
9. Traffic Lights. You must stop at traffic lights if they have been red for a minimum of five seconds. You may drive through red lights if they have been red for less time than this.
10. Indication. While most modern cars no longer have indicators fitted, if you have an older model with an indicator, you must only use it to give confusing signals to the driver behind. Signal right when going round a pot-hole, for example, but not when actually turning right two minutes later. Also, another method is to drive 15 miles with the right or left signal flashing all the way. It's only courtesy, after all. If anyone alerts you to the this, you may stick your finger up at him.
11. Use of brakes. When driving in a "wagon-train" of cars, fifty miles long at 40mph, it is important you use your brakes every seven seconds so the car behind is kept on guard at all times. Do not try and regulate your speed and distance from the car in front of you: this is bad driving. Instead, continue to close up to the car in front, then hit the brakes, in a repeating cycle for the entire journey. This keeps Kwik-Fit in business and your right leg exercised!
12. Discarding waste. Any litter or waste can be ejected through your side window. Simply push the button to roll down the window electronically, then using a swinging motion with your arm, hurl the object from the window. The ash tray in your car is in no way meant to be used. Instead, you must flick the lit cigarette butt out the window at the car behind. If it gets jammed in their radiator and causes an engine fire, you get a prize. Well done. If the driver of the car behind has a problem with you flicking lit cigarettes at his car, you may stick your finger up at him.
*Just a joke, chaps. It's not supposed to elicit any rants or pissing contests between which country has the most ignorant drivers. Tales of outrageous driving from all countries welcome here!
1. Right of Way. You always have right of way because you are special. It doesn’t matter where or when you are driving: you always have right of way.
2. Stopping Distance. Studies in aerodynamics have shown that if you drive really close to the car in front, you will save 25% of your fuel costs due to the reduced drag. Large white vans particularly benefit from this, so it is recommended you always drive within 20mm from the rear bumper of the car in front, especially if you are driving in excess of 70mph and in rainy conditions.
3. Roundabouts. At roundabouts the protocol is simple: everyone gives way to you, whether they are on your right or left. The best way to achieve this is to drive as fast as possible on the approach to the roundabout and “fly” across it at speed, hoping for best. If however you are approaching a busy roundabout, the protocol is to wait either for 10 seconds or until three cars have passed you, and then you are allowed to pull out whether a car is coming or not.
4. Joining A Roads (with heavy traffic). When joining A Roads from smaller roads, the procedure is as follows: wait until the gap in the traffic is more than two car lengths and then skid out on to the main road as fast as possible, no matter how fast the traffic flow is going. The person braking and skidding behind you and flashing their lights to express their anger is wrong. You may now stick your finger up at him.
5. Joining A Road (with light traffic). Simply speed up on approach and skid out on the main road as fast as possible. Then, reduce speed to 20% below the road’s limit and drag everyone behind you until the next stretch of dual carriage-way. If the right hand lane is free but the left hand lane is busy, you may pull onto the right hand lane and park there until the lane you are joining becomes free. The build up of traffic you see on your right has nothing to do with you sitting on their road. Remember: you are special and you always have right of way. You may now stick your finger up at them.
6. Getting up to Speed. The procedure is to get as much speed as possible in as little time as possible. This is always the procedure and applies to all roads and conditions. Even on dual carriage-way stretches only a quarter of a mile long it is imperative you get up to at least 75 mph before the end of the stretch. Protocol then is to brake and skid all over the place, and then tail-gate the car in front until the next dual carriage-way.
7. General speed limits. The best approach to the speed limit is to ignore it totally. If the limit is 50mph you should drive at either 80mph or 30mph. In rainy conditions increase your speed as much as possible and do not switch your lights on until you can no longer see your face in your rear-view mirror.
8. Overtaking. Overtaking may be done on any road in any conditions at any time. The best places to overtake are on blind bends or when approaching the brow of a hill. In a 50 mile-long line of traffic driving at 45mph, you may “leap-frog” cars one-by-one all the way to work. Overtaking trucks is best done on blind bends, even though you know there are 50 more trucks ahead of you all doing the limit and you are endangering everyone’s lives for nothing. As you overtake the truck, you may stick your finger up at the driver.
9. Traffic Lights. You must stop at traffic lights if they have been red for a minimum of five seconds. You may drive through red lights if they have been red for less time than this.
10. Indication. While most modern cars no longer have indicators fitted, if you have an older model with an indicator, you must only use it to give confusing signals to the driver behind. Signal right when going round a pot-hole, for example, but not when actually turning right two minutes later. Also, another method is to drive 15 miles with the right or left signal flashing all the way. It's only courtesy, after all. If anyone alerts you to the this, you may stick your finger up at him.
11. Use of brakes. When driving in a "wagon-train" of cars, fifty miles long at 40mph, it is important you use your brakes every seven seconds so the car behind is kept on guard at all times. Do not try and regulate your speed and distance from the car in front of you: this is bad driving. Instead, continue to close up to the car in front, then hit the brakes, in a repeating cycle for the entire journey. This keeps Kwik-Fit in business and your right leg exercised!
12. Discarding waste. Any litter or waste can be ejected through your side window. Simply push the button to roll down the window electronically, then using a swinging motion with your arm, hurl the object from the window. The ash tray in your car is in no way meant to be used. Instead, you must flick the lit cigarette butt out the window at the car behind. If it gets jammed in their radiator and causes an engine fire, you get a prize. Well done. If the driver of the car behind has a problem with you flicking lit cigarettes at his car, you may stick your finger up at him.
*Just a joke, chaps. It's not supposed to elicit any rants or pissing contests between which country has the most ignorant drivers. Tales of outrageous driving from all countries welcome here!
OMG you have been reading the Australian road rules !! 
Jul 24th 2008, 2:27 pm
#7
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: Yallingup
Posts: 343
Re: British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
In Western Australia ANYTHING goes, well pretty much anything.
For instance the police allow .....
a) Hooning,
b) Indication an option, even funnier when done incorrectly on rounderbouts.
c) Driving along in the outside lane
d) Driving with fog lights on day and night (cause we do get a lot of fog)
e) Cars with no lights..... I kid you not, really amusing in the country !
f) Cars that would have failed an MOT 20 years ago, but are still running here.
g) Trucks that tailgate
h) People who overtake on crests of hills
g) People who overtake on blind corners
h) People who cant drive at a speed that is anywhere near the speed limit
i) Drivers who appear never to have undertaken any instuction !
You may ask yourself why the police allow this sort of thing. The answer is simple.
The police are all sitting on the side of the road waiting for the next sole who lets his car slip 2kph above the speed limit, usually on long straight roads in the middle of the day, but hey, people who speed raise millions for the Police Christmas fund.
For instance the police allow .....
a) Hooning,
b) Indication an option, even funnier when done incorrectly on rounderbouts.
c) Driving along in the outside lane
d) Driving with fog lights on day and night (cause we do get a lot of fog)
e) Cars with no lights..... I kid you not, really amusing in the country !
f) Cars that would have failed an MOT 20 years ago, but are still running here.
g) Trucks that tailgate
h) People who overtake on crests of hills
g) People who overtake on blind corners
h) People who cant drive at a speed that is anywhere near the speed limit
i) Drivers who appear never to have undertaken any instuction !
You may ask yourself why the police allow this sort of thing. The answer is simple.
The police are all sitting on the side of the road waiting for the next sole who lets his car slip 2kph above the speed limit, usually on long straight roads in the middle of the day, but hey, people who speed raise millions for the Police Christmas fund.
Jul 24th 2008, 6:40 pm
#8
Fighting my corner
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
Posts: 11,948
Re: British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
Don't forget parking and indicating:
You have the right to park on a corner
You have the right to park in such a way as to completely immobilise someone else's car
You have the right to park against the flow of traffic
You are not required to use indicators when changing lanes
You are not required to use indicators when turning a corner
All British favourites, most of them witnessed several times a day.
Poms are certainly more courteous drivers, but they are no better at driving than Australians.
You have the right to park on a corner
You have the right to park in such a way as to completely immobilise someone else's car
You have the right to park against the flow of traffic
You are not required to use indicators when changing lanes
You are not required to use indicators when turning a corner
Poms are certainly more courteous drivers, but they are no better at driving than Australians.
Jul 24th 2008, 8:56 pm
#9
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,999
Re: British Highway Code (revised) & Outrageous driving.
Don't forget parking and indicating:
You have the right to park on a corner
You have the right to park in such a way as to completely immobilise someone else's car
You have the right to park against the flow of traffic
You are not required to use indicators when changing lanes
You are not required to use indicators when turning a corner
All British favourites, most of them witnessed several times a day.
You have the right to park on a corner
You have the right to park in such a way as to completely immobilise someone else's car
You have the right to park against the flow of traffic
You are not required to use indicators when changing lanes
You are not required to use indicators when turning a corner
Also, when dual carriage-ways are ending and being channelled into a single lane, you have the right to accelerate past all the cars in the slow lane and drive on the wrong side of the single-lane road until you find an appropriate place to pull in
Poms are certainly more courteous drivers, but they are no better at driving than Australians.
1. Fewer cars.
2. Wider roads.
3. Slower driving.
To anyone that might think the contrary, these reason are not a matter of opinion, but a matter of fact. These three reasons also applied to my driving experience in Canada and (most of) the US.* Britain can't do anything about 1 and 2 but it could slow the cars down more.
* Not Manhattan or parts of LA for example which are just out of this world for traffic issues.
