steve`o

This really happened I was there.

A couple of years ago I was a site foreman at Manchester Universities Stopford Building where medical students are trained.

We were working on a six month project to fit a new fire alarm system
Some way into the project and at one of the fortnightly site meetings the chairperson asked
have there been any accidents since the last meeting
this is a standard question that gets asked at every meeting
No I replied
Are you sure? The chair asked with a slight smile,
I have heard that one of your electricians Steve ******* had been burned with bleach
Slight smile becomes a fuller smile
Can you describe in full what happened so we can see whether this was avoidable, and to see what precautions if any, could be put in place to prevent a reoccurrence of this nasty accident
Smile becomes a grin
O and by the way please speak slowly as I want all this minuted

Bastard I said to myself

( I took a deep breath and reported on what had happened as follows )

( quick intro here steve ******** is a big lad in more ways than one as you will shortly find out, Steve’s six foot four and weighs in at twenty odd stone so he`s a big big lad and he plays rugby )

One of our electricians Steve ******* finding himself caught short and had to use the deans private toilet in the administration block, whilst sat there contemplating Steve could smell the strong sent of bleach
And was subsequently made aware of a horrible burning sensation in his balls and the end of his willie
He ran out of the toilet and over to the sink where quickly applied liberal amounts of cold water to his now throbbing parts,
Unfortunately the dean had a need to use his own facility at the same time, as the dean entered he was confronted by the sight of the back of Steve with his pants round his ankles, his dick in the sink and his hands going ten to the dozen
The dean turned and fled thinking that some perverted giant was having a wank in his sink, he ran down the corridor to the security desk where two security men were duly dispatched to hold this pervert until the police arrived.
In the mean time Steve had covered himself up and ha gone in search of medical help
The security men arrived at the toilet to find it empty and called for backup, we now had several security men running around the admin block
Asking people had they seen a flasher
Steve asked for the nearest first aider was and he was directed to one of the larger offices in the admin block,
Just ask for Margaret he was told
The first aider was a lovely middle aged lady called Margaret who worked in admin in an office full of other women,
Steve told her he had burnt himself possibly with bleach and she asked him to show her the burns, Steve told her it was in a delicate place to which Margaret said its nothing I haven’t seen before my dear.
So Steve got his burnt bits out onto Margaret’s desk for her to assess much to the amusement of all the ladies in there who where now giggling
( like io said earlier steve is a big lad and he`s hung like a donkey )
Just at this point two security men arrived to find Steve with his tackle
Out in an office full of women,
Pandemonium ensued as the two security men were too frightened by Steve’s sheer size to tackle him so they radioed for help
More security immediately rushed in tried to grab hold of Steve
This just pissed him off he’d been burnt and laughed at he wasn’t going
To go easily, The end result was that several security men where thrown around the office before the lovely Margaret was able to calm things down and explain what was happening

I looked around the meeting and every one in there was absolutely pissing their sides, and the bastards didn’t minute it in the end, I checked

Lesson learnt – don’t use bleach on the sodding toilet

O and Steve ******* has since migrated he’s working in Perth now


regards steve

steve`o

bumperty bump

Buttockup

Excellent!

gobbyjock

PMSL - I`ve just tried sending you k for that one - but I have to spread it around first

steve`o

its really true i worked with Steve ******* for six years before he emigrated
the Aussies have him now

another one of steve`s

he was given a verbal warning on the same job by one of the company directors who was ( no is ) a bit of a tosspott ( alright a lot of a tosspott )
for not wearing full ppp on the same job ( he didnt have his steel toecapped boots on )
which was a bit ridiculous as there were hundreds of medical students walking around in sandals trainers etc and as we were working in the corridors along side these students it was abit of overkill

anyway Ken T gave Steve aright f**kin in front of everyone for not having his boots on so Steve said there in the van i`ll go and get them shall i
"glad to see your taking this seriously" said Ken T
Steve came back with his boots in his hand said just a min i`ll put them on now ken and went into the toilet next to the student refectory
"good about time" said Ken T
next minute Steve was back out
boots were on
tool belt was on
nothing else though
he was completely bollock naked
" happy now Ken look i`ve got me boots on just like you said"

needless to say we fell about
and Ken T F**ked off quick red faced

Sorchar

Oh priceless

steve`o

bumpers

Wendy

Mental

steve`o

hey wendy its all true
i`m not winding you up

Wendy

He sounds like my kinda guy.

steve`o

wend your getting as bad as kiwichild

Wendy

:scared:

steve`o

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...t=363231&pp=15

post 14
i rest my case

Wendy

Ah that just proves that I'm nothing like then,

I think it's much more fun after a few beers

steve`o

certainly less inhibited after beer