rozellem

Growing up in South Africa, baby showers was the absolute norm. They stem from a time when new mothers to be would not have a lot of money (pre credit card days) and the community would rally around to give her practical stuff she needed for the baby. So it was born out of necessity. Now it is more of a tea party with cool baby gifts. I was stumped by the aversion and superstition theories when I moved to the UK. Just tell your friend how you feel and make your excuses, sure she would think you are a bit loopy but would not hold it against you.

LouiseR

I'm not into baby showers, didn't have one with either of mine. I've always looked at them as touting for baby gifts and let's face it most friends buy or give you some bits anyway without you having a special party for it.

I'm not bothered by it on a superstitious level. I always thought you couldn't buy anything for baby before you were 12 weeks and you couldn't have the pram in the house until the baby was born, 2 old wives tales passed to me by my mum .

northernbird

I didn't have one for my eldest, now 13 but I did have one for my 8 year old. She was born in Canada and it was considered quite normal there at the time. I had it 3 weeks before she was born and had a lovely time. Got some lovely gifts for myself and baby, some of which I still have today. Bottom line is if you don't feel comfortable then don't go but please explain to your friend that it isn't personal.

itigo

I had such stress and so many hospital stays with both of my pregnancies that it was never appropriate. We were just glad to get to 40 weeks then the party started!

I am from a very superstitious family (on the Welsh side) and I have been feeling funny buying a few bits for my on-the-way niece before she arrives. I bought 2 but then stopped. Baby showers don't sit easy with me personally purely because I'm always thinking what if something goes wrong (as it nearly did several times with me).

You can tell I'm a glass half empty girl can't you?!

lynetteh

I am also South African and grew up attending loads of baby showers. In my experience a baby shower is not ususally something you organise for yourself (as that is then really just touting for presents) but something that someone close to you organises for you. In the case of my eldest (born in the UK) my American sister-in-law and South African best friend were both so excited to host that they ended up joining forces. Also a baby shower would typically be held around 37 weeks when the mother is essentially at full term, so dramatically reducing the chances that anything is likely to go wrong. And if the mom ended up having her baby early, we simply held it a few weeks later with the guest of honour actually in attendence :-)
My baby shower was fantastic as each gift has alway reminded me of the giver and my son who is now two talks about the teddy from aunty X etc.
I also loved the shower as I received many items that I would not have thought of, or could afford to buy myself, that experienced moms knew would be helpful. Thank heavens for Magic Swaddles, Grow Egg thermometers and Baby Bjorns :-)
I am due to have my second baby in 6 weeks and will not be having a shower this time round for several reasons. We have only been in Oz 4 months and as we dont have family here I dont think it is appropriate to throw myself a shower, or to invite friends who I have only really known for a couple of months. Secondly my friends and family abroad were so generous with my first born that we are very well kitted out now with baby gear and I certainly dont expect another slew of presents just for the sake of it. (I typically spend more on presents for the baby shower of a new mum, and if I get invited to a shower for a 2nd or subsequest child the gift is ususally much smaller).
Anyway to answer your question I would be totally honest with your friend and say that in your culture it can be seen as bad luck and that you would be terrified to jinx her, but can't wait to celebrate with her when baby is here.
I once made the mistake of buying a baby gift for a Hindu friend of mine when she announced her first pregnancy. I had no idea it was very bad luck in their culture and without saying anything they stuck the pressie in the back of their closet, to terrified to look at it for the next long 6 months! When I later found out I was mortified and would have preferred it had they just asked me to keep the pressie until baby was born. Thank goodness today she is a beautiful 4 year old!

ABCDiamond

The modern day Baby Showers are, in my opinion, stupid.

The old type is what I would consider normal, and I guess most others think the same.

• Egyptian celebrations associated with childbirth took place after the birth
• Like the Egyptians, ancient Greeks celebrated pregnancy after the birth of the child.
• If there is anything comparable to a baby shower in the Middle Ages, it would most likely be the baby’s baptism ceremony, which usually occurred the day it was born.
• Victorian era, other women would hold tea parties for the new mother--but only after the baby was born.

I blame those Americans, and their imported ways...

In North America it is common to hold the baby shower before the due date. But this is a new and exceptional custom. Before World War II it was celebrated after the birth, and it still is in most other cultures.

http://www.suite101.com/content/baby...r-birth-a12166