herrchook

AAArrrghhhhhhhh,

RANT ALERT

this weekend past was supposed to lovely. It was hubby's folks' Ruby Wedding Anniversary. They planned to take us (hubby and I, his 2 brothers and sil) to dinner and we were surprising them with a stretch limo to take them there (might I add at this point that "I" thought of it, planned and booked it, if it was up to all of them, nothing special would have been done).

So, we all turn up and mil's face is a picture when limo appears. We have a lovely journey, some champers and sil announces she's preggers. Excellent thought hubby and I, we can't get hit with the old "you're taking away our only grandchildren" chestnut anymore. Plus we were delighted for them too.

Lovely meal, but every time Oz gets mentioned you'd think we'd just told an obscenely dirty joke or something - looks could kill!!

Next day, hubby's out of site fixing the PC upstairs and they pounced on me - literally.

Geez, I got an hour of "you've no idea what you're doing, fil can't travel that far at his age, I would never do that to my family if I loved them, we've no right going without going on holiday first to check it out, we've no right to deny our children their heritage blah blah blah

AARRRHGGGHHHHH

I was absolutely fuming mad. So much so I've even told hubby that I'm not going back up there again unless he's with me. I am not under any circumstances going to sit and defend my decision to them any more. They are not going to change our minds so they are just going to have to learn to live with it, and the more they turn on the guilt trips, the further away they're pushing us. When we see them next we are going to tell them that we won't be mentioning moving again. If they want to ask us or add something constructive or positive then fine, but we don't want to hear another word. And if I ever find out that they've said anything negative to the girls then heaven help them

I really can't tell you how angry I was. I'm a really really placid person, wouldn't say boo to a goose but this is just going to far. They wait until we're apart then pounce! To make matters worse it was my sil who's usually one my side who was the worst (must be the hormones ). She actually sat there and said that they'd thought about doing it a few years ago but they just couldn't do that to their families and they think we're wrong and very selfish and probably won't even be able to stay the distance anyway and will come back with nothing - very nice!!!

You know what they can all go and F*** Off. Hubby and I are doing this for OUR family, for an adventure, for hopefully a better way of life and to open our eyes to the fact that there's more to life than this!! The world's a huge place, we just want to experience it, not just let it slip by living somewhere we hate. We want our kids to grow up in a multicultural society and appreciate and embrace different lifetyles and cultures. We want to live somewhere where we can get outside and not freeze, we want our kids to have a healthier lifestyle and none of that will happen here.

If you're still with me - well done. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Right, I'm off for a deep fried mars bar ready for the little one's lunch - don't worry, I'll make it healthy - she'll get Diet Irn bru with it

soapy©

tell her to phone me and im her love child
that should do it, might send her over the edge though

ub40fan

Oh Herrchook, I am so sorry your w/end turned out this way.

At the end of the day the people who matter live in your house with you, you have your own lives to live.

Your sil could be regretful that they didn't actually go through with it and that you are braver than they are.

I know it's easy to say don't let them get to you, but hold onto the fact that you are doing this for you and your kids, for their future, for a better lifestyle, and if they don't understand then they must have rocks in their heads.

My dad is not a well man, he has had bowel cancer, he is diabetic, has a heart problem and trouble with his blood (something unpronounceable!) and we know he will probably never be well enough to make the trip downunder, BUT neither him or my mother have ever tried to stop us. They tell us it is our lives, they did what they wanted with theirs and so should we.

Sorry if I have waffled but I mean well

Shirley x

Wendy

Good for you is all I can say.

Don't let them use emotional blackmail. What if they wanted to retire to Spain or somewhere, would they expect you to carry on like that, I don't think so do you. Next time they tell you your selfish tell them that they are the selfish ones for not thinking about whats best for THEIR son and grandchildren, that'll knock the wind outta their sails.

It makes me realise just how lucky we are. Our MIL is really pleased for us, BIL probably doesn't give a toss and my brother probably doesn't realise what's going on.

The hard part for me is leaving my 18 year old Son behind, but he's made his choice and I respect that. I'll always be there if he needs me.

moneypenny20

Aggghhhh!

Herrchook - You are doing the right thing, especially telling them you won't be mentioning it again, but you are going etc.

SIL is obviously having major hormone movements and is also probably jealous that you are doing what she never did do.

I am sure they will come round, and if they don't then they are the ones missing out. People say how sad it is for the children not to see their grandparents, but when the grandparents become bitter and twisted there is no reason why the children should see or want to see them.

Hope you feel better after the rant. Not sure about the mars bar but then don't do chocolate and as for irn bru - where's the vomit smilie :scared:

HiddenPaw

Not surpirsed you're angry. They just need a gentle reminder that yes, there is a selfish side to all of us, and whilst they are being selfish in trying to stop you from going, you are being selfish in wanting to get a good life/experience for yourselves. So all in all, you're pretty much equal .

I have the same prob with my mother .

Enjoy your mars bar!!

sel

I am also very grateful that our families have been very supportive ... and again good on ya for sticking to your guns ! Yes it is your life and your adventure and it must be horrible to have others putting a downer on it for you when its such an exciting time ...

But when all is said and done I bet it will be the SIL that will want free board for a holiday

thebears

Geez, I got an hour of "you've no idea what you're doing,
You know what your doing your escaping


fil can't travel that far at his age,
Why not? Not keeping his health is his issue not yours. My family travel a great deal with my great aunts and uncles in their late 80's still doing 2 or 3 London/Auckland flights a year.

I would never do that to my family if I loved them,
Well you obviously dont count us as part of your family - because if you loved us you would be supportive of what WE want in our lives.

we've no right going
I think the decision is with the Australian immigration department

without going on holiday first to check it out,
Life bothering to go for a holiday to Blackpool?

we've no right to deny our children their heritage blah blah blah
Any what exactly are they being denied? A chance to have a great life? or sit and listen to you.

they think we're wrong and very selfish
Tough live your own life not theirs!!!!!!!!!!!1


and probably won't even be able to stay the distance anyway and will come back with nothing - very nice!!!
Revenge is best eaten cold - prove them wrong and dont forget to send those lovely photos of YOUR HAPPY FAMILY AND LOTS OF NEW FRIENDS so they see YOU DID DO IT

You know what they can all go and F*** Off.
The flat planet they live on

Good Luck to ya - on a better note where are you headed?

What makes my blood boil listening to you was this is what my grandmother went through 80 years ago. But being a rebel she gave them the old tally ho and made a new life in NZ.

soapy©

great idea.
what the woman hasnt worked out is that she has made sure this family will stick it out. no matter what. so she has chased them away lol

rossifumi

Mate Lynn had a telephone conversation with her mother yesterday and it was the final straw for me so I e-mailed her with my views, if I telephoned her it would have just been a swear fest!

Her parents are just pathetic.

I've gotta leave this thread as I'll just go on the rampage down McDonalds.

herrchook

:scared: Would that make you my brother in law? !!!AAArrghhhh Run for the hills

herrchook

Thanks Shirley, sounds like your folks and mine have similar povs. Oh well, at least I can say they are inlaws - poor hubby! It's so hard for him as it's his family and he's stuck in the middle but thankfully his attitude is - f*** em Gill, we're doing the right thing and they just have to accept it.

Sorry to hear your Dad's so unwell btw.

herrchook

Wendy, I had no idea you were leaving a son behind. That fairly puts it all into perspective for me.

I love your come back line, will defo be using that one in the future. Here's hoping I don't need to though as I suspect there'll be a major falling out the next time they try any of this crap.

The thing that really gets on my tits (so to speak ) is that it's so obvious they're all having these talks about us behind our backs and then they wait until one of us is alone (hubby got it last time when he took the kids over and they told him it was all MY fault taking him away) then pounce - bloody vultures

Sam

After reading this thread, i count my blessings

What a lucky bunny i am, In-laws don't know anything about our proposed jaunt to Oz,
We have no intnetion of going out of our way to tell them either
Alan said if they want to know they'll come and ask when they see the house on the market (they all live within 10 mins of us :scared: )
If they dont come and ask, tough s**t they wont know!

herrchook

Cheers for the support. I am feeling a little better. I know posting it was a bit ott but I know that you lot understand the emotions involved. I was going to have a good old rant with my Mum and Dad about it but I suspect deep down they feel the same and while they are dealing with it really well I don't want to push my luck

Seriously, was only joking about the mars bar and irn bru. It was good old homemade soup and cheese sarnies today (feeling all virtuous now )

Gill