The Ashes
Aug 24th 2009, 3:55 pm
#46
has lost The Game
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Chippendale, Sydney
Posts: 8,735
Re: The Ashes
I have got to give a presentation at work on Thursday morning - I thought I would warm up with some Ashes based humour.
Has anybody seen any Aussie directed Ashes jokes? The only ones I can find are anti English!
Cheers,
S
Aug 24th 2009, 4:00 pm
#47
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Ellenbrook western australia
Posts: 1,034
Re: The Ashes
I am sure The Sun website had some Aussie Ashes jokes.I have no idea what they are like though as I did not read them!Sue.
Aug 24th 2009, 4:27 pm
#48
I'm Old Gregg!
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: A Former Bogan Colony in QLD
Posts: 8,460
Re: The Ashes
Q. What does Mitchell Johnson put in his hands to make sure the
next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. Mitchell Johnson
next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.
Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. Mitchell Johnson
Aug 24th 2009, 4:33 pm
#49
I'm Old Gregg!
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: A Former Bogan Colony in QLD
Posts: 8,460
Re: The Ashes
Q: What is the main function of the Australia coach?
A:To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q: What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
A:A waiter.
Q: Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A: Because they never catch anything.
Q: What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A:Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A:The entire Australian innings.
Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
A:Because they can't spell beer.
A:To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q: What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
A:A waiter.
Q: Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A: Because they never catch anything.
Q: What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A:Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A:The entire Australian innings.
Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
A:Because they can't spell beer.
Aug 24th 2009, 4:35 pm
#50
has lost The Game
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Chippendale, Sydney
Posts: 8,735
Re: The Ashes
Q: What is the main function of the Australia coach?
A:To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q: What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
A:A waiter.
Q: Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A: Because they never catch anything.
Q: What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A:Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A:The entire Australian innings.
Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
A:Because they can't spell beer.
A:To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q: What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
A:A waiter.
Q: Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A: Because they never catch anything.
Q: What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A:Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A:The entire Australian innings.
Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
A:Because they can't spell beer.
Perfect. Cheers BS!
S
Aug 24th 2009, 5:03 pm
#51
Demi-God
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Far North Queensland
Posts: 2,812
Re: The Ashes
The phone rings in the Long Room at Lords and Lord Psmithy-Smythe answers it.
"Hello?" says his lordship.
"G'Day", says an uncouth voice on the other end. "Mate, can I talk to Punter?"
"I'm sorry? Who?"
"Punter, mate. Punter, You know the Aussie captain, whatsisface..."
"Would it be Mr Ponting you're referring to?"
"Mister Ponting.. yeah, that's the bloke. I'm his bank manager, just need to talk to him about something."
"Oh I see", says his Lordship. "Well... I'm afraid he's just gone out to bat... Can you hold for a moment?"
"Hello?" says his lordship.
"G'Day", says an uncouth voice on the other end. "Mate, can I talk to Punter?"
"I'm sorry? Who?"
"Punter, mate. Punter, You know the Aussie captain, whatsisface..."
"Would it be Mr Ponting you're referring to?"
"Mister Ponting.. yeah, that's the bloke. I'm his bank manager, just need to talk to him about something."
"Oh I see", says his Lordship. "Well... I'm afraid he's just gone out to bat... Can you hold for a moment?"
Aug 24th 2009, 5:08 pm
#52
I'm Old Gregg!
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: A Former Bogan Colony in QLD
Posts: 8,460
Re: The Ashes
Why is Jessica Brattich trying to fatten up Mitchell Johnson?
Because she likes her balls wide
Because she likes her balls wide
