Another joke: scottish putdowns
Jul 25th 2006, 9:26 pm
#1
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Hot sunny Cairns !
Posts: 1,012
Another joke: scottish putdowns
Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan
Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a nettle.
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
"I wouldny do her with a rusty pole"
mair chins than a chinese phone book
face like a melted welly
She smells like an alkies carpet
she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
It's like shaggin a pail of water.
It's like shaggin the sleeve aff a wizards cloak!
she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
fanny like a ripped out fireplace
face like a sand blasted tomato
arse like a bag a washing
Your face could get a job haunting houses
I wouldn't ride her if I had a bag of spare Dicks
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
she's seen more helmets than Hitler
The wheels turning but the hamsters died
she has been cocked more times than Davy Crocket's Musket
face like a stuntman's knee
She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
Your ma's goat a dick and yer da's jealous
Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a nettle.
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
"I wouldny do her with a rusty pole"
mair chins than a chinese phone book
face like a melted welly
She smells like an alkies carpet
she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
It's like shaggin a pail of water.
It's like shaggin the sleeve aff a wizards cloak!
she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
fanny like a ripped out fireplace
face like a sand blasted tomato
arse like a bag a washing
Your face could get a job haunting houses
I wouldn't ride her if I had a bag of spare Dicks
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
she's seen more helmets than Hitler
The wheels turning but the hamsters died
she has been cocked more times than Davy Crocket's Musket
face like a stuntman's knee
She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
Your ma's goat a dick and yer da's jealous
Jul 26th 2006, 6:30 pm
#2
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,376
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Ah well, made me smile at least! speshially the last one - must remember that for the tosser at work next time he gives me grief! 
Jul 27th 2006, 7:54 pm
#3
Sunny Sydney
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 6,241
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
pmsl, I've actually heard some of them used too 
Jul 27th 2006, 10:16 pm
#4
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Brisbane, Aus
Posts: 58
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Originally Posted by FluffyTheCampfireSlayer
Ah well, made me smile at least! speshially the last one - must remember that for the tosser at work next time he gives me grief!
Jul 27th 2006, 11:46 pm
#5
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
LMFAO nowt worse than yer lettuce hingin oot yer kebab lol
Jul 28th 2006, 12:52 am
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2005
Location: Kirkcaldy Fife to Kingsley Perth
Posts: 854
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Originally Posted by biggy
LMFAO nowt worse than yer lettuce hingin oot yer kebab lol
Jul 28th 2006, 2:37 am
#7
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: pacific pines
Posts: 4,418
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Originally Posted by cadman
Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan
Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a nettle.
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
"I wouldny do her with a rusty pole"
mair chins than a chinese phone book
face like a melted welly
She smells like an alkies carpet
she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
It's like shaggin a pail of water.
It's like shaggin the sleeve aff a wizards cloak!
she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
fanny like a ripped out fireplace
face like a sand blasted tomato
arse like a bag a washing
Your face could get a job haunting houses
I wouldn't ride her if I had a bag of spare Dicks
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
she's seen more helmets than Hitler
The wheels turning but the hamsters died
she has been cocked more times than Davy Crocket's Musket
face like a stuntman's knee
She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
Your ma's goat a dick and yer da's jealous
Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a nettle.
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
"I wouldny do her with a rusty pole"
mair chins than a chinese phone book
face like a melted welly
She smells like an alkies carpet
she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
It's like shaggin a pail of water.
It's like shaggin the sleeve aff a wizards cloak!
she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
fanny like a ripped out fireplace
face like a sand blasted tomato
arse like a bag a washing
Your face could get a job haunting houses
I wouldn't ride her if I had a bag of spare Dicks
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
she's seen more helmets than Hitler
The wheels turning but the hamsters died
she has been cocked more times than Davy Crocket's Musket
face like a stuntman's knee
She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
Your ma's goat a dick and yer da's jealous
Jul 28th 2006, 10:56 am
#8
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Originally Posted by maggy
Oh you durty minger lol
or boggin basturt lol
Jul 28th 2006, 7:18 pm
#9
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Sydney - Edinburgh
Posts: 44
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Goat a pus like a blind cobbler's thumb.
Jul 28th 2006, 10:09 pm
#10
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 545
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Originally Posted by Bob AG
Goat a pus like a blind cobbler's thumb.
Thomas
Jul 28th 2006, 11:45 pm
#11
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: forest lake brisbane
Posts: 486
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Whot Aboot Shes Got A Face A Skin Head Would Ne Kick
Jul 29th 2006, 8:59 am
#12
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Chermside West, Brisbane
Posts: 584
Re: Another joke: scottish putdowns
Originally Posted by cadman
Look's like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan
Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a nettle.
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
"I wouldny do her with a rusty pole"
mair chins than a chinese phone book
face like a melted welly
She smells like an alkies carpet
she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
It's like shaggin a pail of water.
It's like shaggin the sleeve aff a wizards cloak!
she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
fanny like a ripped out fireplace
face like a sand blasted tomato
arse like a bag a washing
Your face could get a job haunting houses
I wouldn't ride her if I had a bag of spare Dicks
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
she's seen more helmets than Hitler
The wheels turning but the hamsters died
she has been cocked more times than Davy Crocket's Musket
face like a stuntman's knee
She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
Your ma's goat a dick and yer da's jealous
Shes got a face like a dug lickin pish aff a nettle.
It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!
She's got a face that could make an onion cry.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege
"I wouldny do her with a rusty pole"
mair chins than a chinese phone book
face like a melted welly
She smells like an alkies carpet
she has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician
It's like shaggin a pail of water.
It's like shaggin the sleeve aff a wizards cloak!
she's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher
fanny like a ripped out fireplace
face like a sand blasted tomato
arse like a bag a washing
Your face could get a job haunting houses
I wouldn't ride her if I had a bag of spare Dicks
She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant
she's seen more helmets than Hitler
The wheels turning but the hamsters died
she has been cocked more times than Davy Crocket's Musket
face like a stuntman's knee
She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab
Your ma's goat a dick and yer da's jealous
She's choked more bishops than Ian Paisley
She's pure class......she takes the dishes oot the sink before pissin in it
She's got an arse like a 10 apartment
She's wider than a double bed
