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Advice/sympathy/slap in the head - all welcome (long/heavy post)

Advice/sympathy/slap in the head - all welcome (long/heavy post)

Old Dec 1st 2019, 1:47 am
  #46  
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Default Re: Advice/sympathy/slap in the head - all welcome (long/heavy post)

Originally Posted by Lucas_Dad View Post
But, no money+no job = nobody will let me rent. Full time dad for 7 years - previously I was in IT - IT qualifications are worthless. What AM I going to do?.


Don't worry about "worthless" qualifications, you never know when they may come in handy.

Why don't you go to TAFE and retrain and start a new career. You are only 47 after all. My current boss changed his whole career at 58 and retrained, and got a job.

And if you have no money, you can often get payment plans or a scholarship from the college (I got one to attend a hospitality course)

Something to do with children maybe? A male nurse on a childrens hospital ward. A social worker. A male nanny. A child portrait photographer.

Or become an Uncle professionally, and be a guiding light for children who don't have positive role models (Mr Takanobu Nishimoto is a Japanese man who created a service that lets people rent middle-aged Japanese men)

Take steps to get your depression and drinking under control (I fell into that trap too previously). I saw a naturopath who prescribed some adaptogen herbal medicine and supplements, along with a better diet and some daily exercise. She also taught me to do Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) and all these things combined, helped to cure my bouts of depression.

Do you have any social MeetUps in your area. You can meet friends through them, or at least make meaningful connections with others, even if it is just going out for a meal with a group.

Divorce is hard but it can also be the time for brand new beginnings.



Last edited by PittwaterPrincess; Dec 1st 2019 at 2:06 am.
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Old Dec 1st 2019, 2:05 am
  #47  
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Default Re: Advice/sympathy/slap in the head - all welcome (long/heavy post)

Hello

One more thing, if you find AA is not for you (some people do struggle with the religious aspect of it), then there are other support groups out there - ask you doctor for more information.

An old friend of mine managed to completely give up drinking after reading a book called Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale.

Or The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr is another book that may help

There is also an Australian forum called "Hello Sunday Morning", and they have a phone app called DayBreak. It is an online program with a community of like minded people all encouraging and supporting each other. They also have professional health coaches if you need them.

I think I may give up drinking too, as wasted this whole weekend with hangovers.
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Old Dec 3rd 2019, 10:59 am
  #48  
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Default Re: Advice/sympathy/slap in the head - all welcome (long/heavy post)

Hi PittwaterPrincess ... thanks for the messages. I thought this thread was long dead!

I really appreciate the suggestions. I think I read about the 'rent an uncle' thing a while ago too. If it pays as much as the IT job I've just applied for at the uni next door to my house then I may look into it Also, funny you should mention some sort of working with people job - that is exactly what my counsellor said. This is one reason this job I've applied for is so appealing. It is more of a people/liaising/projects type job, less deep techie, so I haven't got the fear that my tech skills are now worthless. My tech awareness is still sharp, which hopefully will go in my favour.

I'm really happy about the state of my drinking now. I've recently discovered that my ulcerative colitis can have a knock-on effect to the liver, and I'm showing signs of that, so it just makes good sense for me to avoid alcohol anyway. I've not had a drink in over 6 months now. My general health, mental health, and fitness is sooo much better. My wallet is quite grateful too. Long may it continue

Have you tried the day-by-day approach to not drinking? You don't have to declare "I'm never drinking again", just "today I'm not". For me that quickly became two days, a week, a month, two months...

I'm actually at the point where I'm strangely grateful that my wife left me. I've never been lower or more depressed, but it gave me the kick up the arse I needed. Counselling, medication, getting fit again. At 48 my mental health is better than it has ever been. I practice mindful meditation every day and that really helps too. I'm a much calmer person. When my wife sends a shitty email, I don't get wound up at all, just a *sigh* and forward it to my lawyer.
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