7 days in Sarf London
#168
BE Enthusiast
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Location: London - but only until I can afford to move back to Sydney
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#169
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Several generations of part of my family came from Salford. And my dad used to be the City Engineer.
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#172
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13 days in London and 1 travelling to the Shetlands .....
Huge identifiable accent difference in just a short journey. I'm now with the friendly singsongy Scottish
Shopping seems like a bring and buy sale - big piles of stuff with Bogof deals meaning you end up with double the amount you need
Bright orange fake tan girls are relatively common
Condiments are present on tables - ketchup, colmans, daddy's and sarsons
Cold toilet seats are oddly arousing
The Dyson trouser press hand dryers turn your hands into shapeshifters
Big gangs of 30s blokes drinking pints at airports on their way to stag parties in Scandinavia
Flights from Aberdeen now include places like Azerbaijan
You can buy a big selection of sandwiches without having to peel out a mechanically recovered slice of 'ham' to chuck away
Day time tv can be viewed without an interview or photo scene with Miranda Kerr - Australian model and a la mode femme after Cate Blanchett disgraced herself by believing in climate change
A strange realisation came over me earlier that I hadn't heard Roxette or Bon Jovi for a couple of weeks
Betting screens are once again the domain of seedy losers in Bookies rather than pubs
Cold air / hot bath is a great combination
Bumble bees
Single figure weather forecasts look like typos
Grass is nice, lush and carpety - you can walk over it without fear of cane toads and snakes
Food can be left out of the refridgerater and put into cupboards
Engelbert Humperdink is doing the Uk Eurovision entry
Things are unregulated - it takes a few days to shirk off Aussie regulation - that you're doing something naughty re: jay walking, where you can drink, where you can smoke. Buying alcohol at supermarkets and corner shops feels delightfully decadent
Stiff nipples - for the first time in a year
Most 35+ women are derma-filled and botoxed. On television everyone looks slim and younger
There are lots of new varieties of chocolate. The minstrels without cases that seemed such a lucky dip coup when eating a bag of Revels are now available in a bag of their own. They're no longer as yummy in the Revels however.
The return of the good sturdy stiff upper lip British plug (with pins that don't bend and stay in the wall).
Chairs and tables are made of wood and cushioning - not plastic and chrome. They don't scrape when people stand up or wobble relentlessly
Brits landing at airports after holidays will wear virtually nothing as long as is humanly possible.
I feel re-sexualised. I thought I'd lost my mojo but with a cornucopia of clean shaven men in suits able to hold a conversation it's back (looking only of course)
I still don't understand the weather forecasts with the big moving ellipses
Sunbed sessions are advertised
There is a baffling amount of cold remedies for sale
Worms - little pieces of pink dead worms on pavements
Emergency 'improvement' works have taken the place of emergency 'repair' works on London transport
Everywhere seems to have a loyalty card. Chemists, supermarkets, pubs, coffee shops, book shops etc
High percentage of ethnic minorities on tv - news readers, weather forecasters and programme presenters. Is this the same as Oz - not having bothered with a tv ariel I don't know.
One glimmer of sunshine and the pub gardens are rammed with people - dusted off raybans sitting outside in the cold
Leaves on plants are small
There's a big media focus on Kate Middleton - having not heard her speak before
I can report she sounds haughty with clipped vowels.
There are virtually no public toilets in London (for fear of terrorism/cottaging)
Accordingly every corner of every subway smells strongly of wee
Homeless people engage my sympathy again now I am resensitised/have time to think
People openly conserve energy - cycling schemes, tiny eco cars, fair trade everything, carbon neutral products
The Thames is a rancid cess pool of brown water and rubbish
Eavesdropping on conversations there is a real spectrum of articulation - bordering on virtually unintelligible street speak to amazingly erudite conversation.
I still want to kill 'living statues'
Huge identifiable accent difference in just a short journey. I'm now with the friendly singsongy Scottish
Shopping seems like a bring and buy sale - big piles of stuff with Bogof deals meaning you end up with double the amount you need
Bright orange fake tan girls are relatively common
Condiments are present on tables - ketchup, colmans, daddy's and sarsons
Cold toilet seats are oddly arousing
The Dyson trouser press hand dryers turn your hands into shapeshifters
Big gangs of 30s blokes drinking pints at airports on their way to stag parties in Scandinavia
Flights from Aberdeen now include places like Azerbaijan
You can buy a big selection of sandwiches without having to peel out a mechanically recovered slice of 'ham' to chuck away
Day time tv can be viewed without an interview or photo scene with Miranda Kerr - Australian model and a la mode femme after Cate Blanchett disgraced herself by believing in climate change
A strange realisation came over me earlier that I hadn't heard Roxette or Bon Jovi for a couple of weeks
Betting screens are once again the domain of seedy losers in Bookies rather than pubs
Cold air / hot bath is a great combination
Bumble bees
Single figure weather forecasts look like typos
Grass is nice, lush and carpety - you can walk over it without fear of cane toads and snakes
Food can be left out of the refridgerater and put into cupboards
Engelbert Humperdink is doing the Uk Eurovision entry
Things are unregulated - it takes a few days to shirk off Aussie regulation - that you're doing something naughty re: jay walking, where you can drink, where you can smoke. Buying alcohol at supermarkets and corner shops feels delightfully decadent
Stiff nipples - for the first time in a year
Most 35+ women are derma-filled and botoxed. On television everyone looks slim and younger
There are lots of new varieties of chocolate. The minstrels without cases that seemed such a lucky dip coup when eating a bag of Revels are now available in a bag of their own. They're no longer as yummy in the Revels however.
The return of the good sturdy stiff upper lip British plug (with pins that don't bend and stay in the wall).
Chairs and tables are made of wood and cushioning - not plastic and chrome. They don't scrape when people stand up or wobble relentlessly
Brits landing at airports after holidays will wear virtually nothing as long as is humanly possible.
I feel re-sexualised. I thought I'd lost my mojo but with a cornucopia of clean shaven men in suits able to hold a conversation it's back (looking only of course)
I still don't understand the weather forecasts with the big moving ellipses
Sunbed sessions are advertised
There is a baffling amount of cold remedies for sale
Worms - little pieces of pink dead worms on pavements
Emergency 'improvement' works have taken the place of emergency 'repair' works on London transport
Everywhere seems to have a loyalty card. Chemists, supermarkets, pubs, coffee shops, book shops etc
High percentage of ethnic minorities on tv - news readers, weather forecasters and programme presenters. Is this the same as Oz - not having bothered with a tv ariel I don't know.
One glimmer of sunshine and the pub gardens are rammed with people - dusted off raybans sitting outside in the cold
Leaves on plants are small
There's a big media focus on Kate Middleton - having not heard her speak before
I can report she sounds haughty with clipped vowels.
There are virtually no public toilets in London (for fear of terrorism/cottaging)
Accordingly every corner of every subway smells strongly of wee
Homeless people engage my sympathy again now I am resensitised/have time to think
People openly conserve energy - cycling schemes, tiny eco cars, fair trade everything, carbon neutral products
The Thames is a rancid cess pool of brown water and rubbish
Eavesdropping on conversations there is a real spectrum of articulation - bordering on virtually unintelligible street speak to amazingly erudite conversation.
I still want to kill 'living statues'
Last edited by Turban Explorer; Mar 22nd 2012 at 11:35 pm.
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#179
Home and Happy
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#180
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Awww... Doubly home sick now....
You couldnt bring one of them stiff british upper lip plugs back for me could you? Mine appears to have gone and me bottom lip keeps wobbling....
You couldnt bring one of them stiff british upper lip plugs back for me could you? Mine appears to have gone and me bottom lip keeps wobbling....
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