Re: 50 shades of
 

50 shades of Scunthorpe.
"Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". "As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight.""As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I... couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same...........

Chapter 2
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."

Chapter 3
"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you

Re: 50 shades of
 

:rofl:

Re: 50 shades of
 

An unknown has been signed up to play Mr Grey:

Re: 50 shades of
 

This is the best review i have read....:rofl:


http://www.goodreads.com/review/show...attempted=true

Re: 50 shades of
 

That is hilarious!!

Re: 50 shades of
 

Oh My!!!!:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Re: 50 shades of
 

Some people waste way too time commenting on a book created from a web blog. I don't get the complete obsession that both those who love it and those who don't, have over some paper with words on it. Don't like it? Don't read it, don't bother with it. Love it? Read it, enjoy it and move on.
Every forum I look at, every media outlet I look at...Get the **** over it. :rolleyes:

Re: 50 shades of
 

If we took that advice on every "topic of conversation" out there... There'd be no barbie.....:rofl:

I'm stuck now..... Havent read them.... So dont know whether to read them coz they're the best thing since vanilla sliced bread.... Or read them because they are laughably awful..... Or simply send my apologies, miss the party and not bother....

Would wait til I find them at an Op shop... There'll be plenty around soon... Only I worry about pages being stuck together... If you know what i mean..:blink:

Re: 50 shades of
 

I find it quite funny that suddenly (some) supposedly streetwise women are saying how great it is that there's now porn available for them and its OK for women to read it! Wake up you daft creatures, there's been porn available for women for donkeys years, and if you think "50 Shades of blandness" is pushing the boundaries, then you have my sympathy for leading such a sheltered life so far :ohmy:

Re: 50 shades of
 

:thumbsup:

Described as porn for women I hear, which is patronising - almost as though we need permission to have our own porn.

Well I have no intention of reading it - I can write or visualise my own porn should I feel the need.

As you said Polly, porn has been available for donkeys years.

Re: 50 shades of
 

Try reading the Clan of the Cave Bear books, especially the second book (The Valley of the Horses).

That Jean Auel has a very dirty mind :lol:

Can't say I've read FSoG though so cannot compare the two.

Re: 50 shades of
 

It's an opinion, nothing about 'giving advice' and it wasn't totally about this thread in the barbie. As I said, it's the fact that people are banging on about it everywhere. People creating their own pisstake copies, people spending hours doing that 'review', it's just stupid.

Re: 50 shades of
 

I sat next to someone on the train reading it in paperback. The smile on her face was almos disturbing. There is something to be said for ebooks.

Re: 50 shades of
 

yep, porn should be watched, not read :lol:

Re: 50 shades of
 

...and - shock horror - women are allowed to do that too :eek: :scarper: