The 2012 joke thread
#62
Re: The 2012 joke thread
I had high hopes for the Canadian Paralympians, but now it seems 8 of our wheelchair athletes have tested positive for WD-40.
#65
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Colonel Sanders came to Regina and inspected the franchises in about 1968 (there were about 4, all owned by the same man). At the Elphinstone & Dewdney location, (still there, btw), he found salad in the counter that wasn't fresh and gave the manager a real dressing down. He pointed at the sign and shouted "That's my name on there and I demand you sell quality food!" As far as I know that's the only time he came here. An old cartoon showed a chicken sitting in a bar, with Col Sanders at the other end, and the bartender takes the chicken a drink and says, "It's paid for."
#66
Re: The 2012 joke thread
A touring troupe of morris dancers has been kidnapped in a daring bus hijacking in Nice, France. The terrorists are threatening to release one every hour until their demands are met.
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What else is a morris stick good for?
Kindling an accordian fire.
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If you drop an accordian, bagpipes, and a viola off an 8 story building which hits the ground first?
Who cares?
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What else is a morris stick good for?
Kindling an accordian fire.
.
If you drop an accordian, bagpipes, and a viola off an 8 story building which hits the ground first?
Who cares?
#67
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Some twat just pinched a pair of my wife's knickers off the line, she's not bothered about the pants but she wants the 12 pegs back!!
#68
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Some smart-ass asked me, "How's your wife and my kids?"
I said, "Wife's fine, kids are a pack of idiots".
I said, "Wife's fine, kids are a pack of idiots".
#69
Re: The 2012 joke thread
A lady was cleaning her teenage son's room and found a hardcore bondage s&m magazine under the mattress. Quite distraught, she asked her husband what they should do. "Well, he said, whatever you do, don't spank him!"
#70
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Got my halloween outfit today; blonde wig, tracksuit, gold chain, cigar. That should scare the little ****ers!
#71
221b Baker Street
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Miles from anywhere, Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 14,125
Re: The 2012 joke thread
For those who do not listen to the 'Today' programme on BBC Radio 4, this is English humour at its best.
Right at the end of a programme recently,there was a discussion about the obscene cost of entry into Premiership football games - 'the cheapest price of £60 and £100 per game is not uncommon'.
An older chap being interviewed said he could recall many years ago arriving at the turnstiles, (it was probably West Ham United or Queen's Park Rangers), to be told, "That will be 10 Quid Mate".
"What!", the old chap said, "I could get a woman for that!"
The guy on the turnstile retorted, "Not for 45 minutes each way you wouldn't, and a brass band in the Interval!"
As the pips sounded on the hour, the presenter John Humphries, could be heard in the background in stitches.
Right at the end of a programme recently,there was a discussion about the obscene cost of entry into Premiership football games - 'the cheapest price of £60 and £100 per game is not uncommon'.
An older chap being interviewed said he could recall many years ago arriving at the turnstiles, (it was probably West Ham United or Queen's Park Rangers), to be told, "That will be 10 Quid Mate".
"What!", the old chap said, "I could get a woman for that!"
The guy on the turnstile retorted, "Not for 45 minutes each way you wouldn't, and a brass band in the Interval!"
As the pips sounded on the hour, the presenter John Humphries, could be heard in the background in stitches.