The 2012 joke thread
Apr 1st 2012, 6:00 am
#46
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 20,821
Re: The 2012 joke thread
****************
Willy was a little boy who was but is no more
for what he thought was H2O, was H2SO4!
Apr 1st 2012, 11:45 am
#47
.
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: "What I did, I did without choice. In the name of peace and sanity."
Posts: 3,385
Apr 10th 2012, 12:52 pm
#48
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: The 2012 joke thread
I wanted to make a chemistry joke too but all the good ones argon. 
Jun 26th 2012, 12:53 am
#49
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 9,397
Re: The 2012 joke thread
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
Jun 26th 2012, 7:47 am
#50
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: north east england to south east queensland(cleveland in fact )WE WON THE CUP
Posts: 5,867
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Just to spice things up I said to my wife, "We'll do a bit of role playing tonight.."
She was well up for it.
So I said, " You dress up like Whitney Houston, and I'll run you a bath..."
She was well up for it.
So I said, " You dress up like Whitney Houston, and I'll run you a bath..."
Jun 26th 2012, 8:28 am
#51
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Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Redneck Wonderland
Posts: 9,932
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Venus Williams has blamed her first round exit from wimbledon on the balls not bouncing correctly.....It's been suggested some better fitting underwear may help Ms Williams
Jun 27th 2012, 11:06 am
#52
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Redneck Wonderland
Posts: 9,932
Re: The 2012 joke thread
A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he has a part in the school play and he's playing a man who's been married for 25 years.
The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."
The dad says, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."
Jul 4th 2012, 10:58 pm
#53
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: The 2012 joke thread
I was in an Irish pub here in Canada and had had a few pints of plain when three large ladies entered and stood at the bar. Their accents were quite strong, so I asked, “Are you ladies from Ireland?“ One of them turned around, sneered, and said “It‘s Wales, you idiot!“ I replied, “Sorry, are you whales from Ireland?“
And that‘s the last thing I remember.
And that‘s the last thing I remember.
Jul 6th 2012, 3:25 am
#54
.
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: "What I did, I did without choice. In the name of peace and sanity."
Posts: 3,385
Re: The 2012 joke thread
I was in an Irish pub here in Canada and had had a few pints of plain when three large ladies entered and stood at the bar. Their accents were quite strong, so I asked, “Are you ladies from Ireland?“ One of them turned around, sneered, and said “It‘s Wales, you idiot!“ I replied, “Sorry, are you whales from Ireland?“
And that‘s the last thing I remember.
And that‘s the last thing I remember.
Aug 21st 2012, 10:07 pm
#55
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's just because I'm really concentrating.
(From some big comedy thing in Scotland.)
(From some big comedy thing in Scotland.)
Aug 23rd 2012, 8:54 pm
#56
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Redneck Wonderland
Posts: 9,932
Re: The 2012 joke thread
The Queen: Harry can't find his biscuits. Have you seen his ginger nuts?
Prince Philip: I think the whole bloody world has seen them by now
Prince Philip: I think the whole bloody world has seen them by now
Aug 29th 2012, 9:25 pm
#57
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 9,397
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Four guys have been going to the same fishingtrip for many years.Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up,firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Shit Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wifecame up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.. The room had candles and rose petals all over.On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.And then she said, "Do whatever you want."So, Here I am..
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up,firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
"Shit Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wifecame up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.. The room had candles and rose petals all over.On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.And then she said, "Do whatever you want."So, Here I am..
Aug 31st 2012, 12:03 am
#58
Banned
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,300
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Why does Colonel Sanders keep his eleven KFC herbs and spices secret?
Sep 1st 2012, 2:57 pm
#60
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: The 2012 joke thread
Last edited by caretaker; Sep 1st 2012 at 3:12 pm.