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2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Ok, I haven't been on here for a while...months really. Me and the kids came back from the reccie last April (OH couldn't come) and I was overwhelmed. I LOVED it, it's so far away, but I loved it etc etc. Am sure part of it was I was finishing my degree and I couldn't cope with the decision making. So now? I finished my degree last Sept (still reasonably mentally stable :blink:), celebrated A LOT! Managed to get a part time job (am a midwife) in a local hospital and have settled there well.
Now my life is calm and what should rear its ugly head...the voices. Yep the 'we should go to Oz' voices... OMG! We hadn't decided not to go just to not think about it. There were a few things about the possible job offer that weren't right - mainly I had to work full time and that was never the plan, especially if we emigrated as I wanted to help the kids adjust. Anyway...this weekend the kids (now 12 and 9) started saying - are we going to go? and STOP THE PRESS, my son (12) said I think we should go I think it would be great! (He spent the whole reccie trip saying 'I don't wanna live here' - until I threatened him with violence and reminded him it was an adult decision)...so where am I going with this? It's my OH! He is really reluctant. He used to be quite up for it and now...he is less than keen. He HATES his job, still works 6-7 days a week, in London, commuting 2-3 hours a day. He has little time with any of us and wants to sleep most of his time off he is so knackered [we have looked into alternative work here -it's not an option]. He has no qualms about leaving family and friends. He just says that he can't give up a well paid job for the unknown, that he wouldn't get an I.T. job in Brisbane as he has no degree (just 25 years experience with U.K. government - HE WON'T EVEN LOOK!), that if we sell then we will never be able to afford another house in the UK...etc etc. He stopped short of saying he is too old (he is 46, I am 35) So do we just give it up? After all the research, time and investment, emotionally, mentally and financially? I don't wanna bully, manipulate or push him - that wouldn't be right. I just feel SO FRUSTRATED! It's been left that I told him that he had to decided what he wanted to do, that I would stand by him if he said NO. But that I needed to make a decision one way or another and get on with my life. But if we are going I wanna be gone by next summer (Son starts GCSEs that Sept and daughter finishes primary, I will have worked for 2 years post qualifying). He knows we would like to go (with cat and now a small dog too, in tow)... He knows all the stats that the majority of expats stay in OZ etc. Now I just need to be patient or should I just wake up a small the coffee he doesn't wanna go!? Please help, any advice? I am devastated that my OZ dreams might be over :( I hope this doesn't come across like I'm a bitchy old bag of a wife. I love my husband to bits and just want a better life for all of us...and I think Oz is it! Kind regards to all of you Babycatcher |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by Babycatcher
(Post 6009889)
Ok, I haven't been on here for a while...months really. Me and the kids came back from the reccie last April (OH couldn't come) and I was overwhelmed. I LOVED it, it's so far away, but I loved it etc etc. Am sure part of it was I was finishing my degree and I couldn't cope with the decision making. So now? I finished my degree last Sept (still reasonably mentally stable :blink:), celebrated A LOT! Managed to get a part time job (am a midwife) in a local hospital and have settled there well.
Now my life is calm and what should rear its ugly head...the voices. Yep the 'we should go to Oz' voices... OMG! We hadn't decided not to go just to not think about it. There were a few things about the possible job offer that weren't right - mainly I had to work full time and that was never the plan, especially if we emigrated as I wanted to help the kids adjust. Anyway...this weekend the kids (now 12 and 9) started saying - are we going to go? and STOP THE PRESS, my son (12) said I think we should go I think it would be great! (He spent the whole reccie trip saying 'I don't wanna live here' - until I threatened him with violence and reminded him it was an adult decision)...so where am I going with this? It's my OH! He is really reluctant. He used to be quite up for it and now...he is less than keen. He HATES his job, still works 6-7 days a week, in London, commuting 2-3 hours a day. He has little time with any of us and wants to sleep most of his time off he is so knackered [we have looked into alternative work here -it's not an option]. He has no qualms about leaving family and friends. He just says that he can't give up a well paid job for the unknown, that he wouldn't get an I.T. job in Brisbane as he has no degree (just 25 years experience with U.K. government - HE WON'T EVEN LOOK!), that if we sell then we will never be able to afford another house in the UK...etc etc. He stopped short of saying he is too old (he is 46, I am 35) So do we just give it up? After all the research, time and investment, emotionally, mentally and financially? I don't wanna bully, manipulate or push him - that wouldn't be right. I just feel SO FRUSTRATED! It's been left that I told him that he had to decided what he wanted to do, that I would stand by him if he said NO. But that I needed to make a decision one way or another and get on with my life. But if we are going I wanna be gone by next summer (Son starts GCSEs that Sept and daughter finishes primary, I will have worked for 2 years post qualifying). He knows we would like to go (with cat and now a small dog too, in tow)... He knows all the stats that the majority of expats stay in OZ etc. Now I just need to be patient or should I just wake up a small the coffee he doesn't wanna go!? Please help, any advice? I am devastated that my OZ dreams might be over :( I hope this doesn't come across like I'm a bitchy old bag of a wife. I love my husband to bits and just want a better life for all of us...and I think Oz is it! Kind regards to all of you Babycatcher What a lovely post. Very honest. As one who was not convinced of the move and really resisted in the bedding down phase, I think that you need to ask yourself whether you are able to keep your family 'up' in the first year of the toughest year of your life potentially, over here. |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Try talking to him whilst holding a frying pan........men tend to notice you're talking to them then.....LOL :thumbsup:
Seriously though.........maybe suggest starting the visa process......if you get your visa granted then you can honestly say you could go to Oz if you wanted to then, rather than hearing voices for the next few years!!!! :eek: One life you got......so grab every opportunity with both hands and never let go :thumbup: Good luck, Beth x x :wub: |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by Babycatcher
(Post 6009889)
Ok, I haven't been on here for a while...months really. Me and the kids came back from the reccie last April (OH couldn't come) and I was overwhelmed. I LOVED it, it's so far away, but I loved it etc etc. Am sure part of it was I was finishing my degree and I couldn't cope with the decision making. So now? I finished my degree last Sept (still reasonably mentally stable :blink:), celebrated A LOT! Managed to get a part time job (am a midwife) in a local hospital and have settled there well.
Now my life is calm and what should rear its ugly head...the voices. Yep the 'we should go to Oz' voices... OMG! We hadn't decided not to go just to not think about it. There were a few things about the possible job offer that weren't right - mainly I had to work full time and that was never the plan, especially if we emigrated as I wanted to help the kids adjust. Anyway...this weekend the kids (now 12 and 9) started saying - are we going to go? and STOP THE PRESS, my son (12) said I think we should go I think it would be great! (He spent the whole reccie trip saying 'I don't wanna live here' - until I threatened him with violence and reminded him it was an adult decision)...so where am I going with this? It's my OH! He is really reluctant. He used to be quite up for it and now...he is less than keen. He HATES his job, still works 6-7 days a week, in London, commuting 2-3 hours a day. He has little time with any of us and wants to sleep most of his time off he is so knackered [we have looked into alternative work here -it's not an option]. He has no qualms about leaving family and friends. He just says that he can't give up a well paid job for the unknown, that he wouldn't get an I.T. job in Brisbane as he has no degree (just 25 years experience with U.K. government - HE WON'T EVEN LOOK!), that if we sell then we will never be able to afford another house in the UK...etc etc. He stopped short of saying he is too old (he is 46, I am 35) So do we just give it up? After all the research, time and investment, emotionally, mentally and financially? I don't wanna bully, manipulate or push him - that wouldn't be right. I just feel SO FRUSTRATED! It's been left that I told him that he had to decided what he wanted to do, that I would stand by him if he said NO. But that I needed to make a decision one way or another and get on with my life. But if we are going I wanna be gone by next summer (Son starts GCSEs that Sept and daughter finishes primary, I will have worked for 2 years post qualifying). He knows we would like to go (with cat and now a small dog too, in tow)... He knows all the stats that the majority of expats stay in OZ etc. Now I just need to be patient or should I just wake up a small the coffee he doesn't wanna go!? Please help, any advice? I am devastated that my OZ dreams might be over :( I hope this doesn't come across like I'm a bitchy old bag of a wife. I love my husband to bits and just want a better life for all of us...and I think Oz is it! Kind regards to all of you Babycatcher |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
all the above are true but dont worry about making a "wrong decision". theres no such thing. Its just a diffrent experience......and then... you will all die :ohmy: so theres your answer really
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Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by keenymeeny
(Post 6009939)
I hate to quote Ian Botham, but life is not a rehersal. This is the real thing. We pontificated for years. We made the move last December and I still pinch myself every day.
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Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by BethandAndrew
(Post 6009916)
Try talking to him whilst holding a frying pan........men tend to notice you're talking to them then.....LOL :thumbsup:
Seriously though.........maybe suggest starting the visa process......if you get your visa granted then you can honestly say you could go to Oz if you wanted to then, rather than hearing voices for the next few years!!!! :eek: One life you got......so grab every opportunity with both hands and never let go :thumbup: Good luck, Beth x x :wub: I felt for a long time like the moaning girlfriend with unrealistic expectations, but by now have done a lot of research and found more and more points to argue that it is feasible. And even if his job will pay less than over here, I argue that the whole point is to get out of the whole making money-spending money-no family quality time routine and that it will be nice to see how we handle this challenge. Some points our partners make a re valid, but I really belief that I would regret it far more not to go and would find it harder to cope with this constant "what if", than to go over, dislike it it and come back. Good luck! :) Mel |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by BethandAndrew
(Post 6009916)
Try talking to him whilst holding a frying pan........men tend to notice you're talking to them then.....LOL :thumbsup:
Seriously though.........maybe suggest starting the visa process......if you get your visa granted then you can honestly say you could go to Oz if you wanted to then, rather than hearing voices for the next few years!!!! :eek: One life you got......so grab every opportunity with both hands and never let go :thumbup: Good luck, Beth x x :wub: keep the dream n don`t have nitemares YP Perth n luvin it Gizza job I can do that |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by nicolamoon
(Post 6010904)
You have to be certain of what you want, OZ is great, a total different life, thats the prob for a lot of folk coming over, some for the good some for the bad, some things are more expensive, some are cheaper. I left a job after 32 years in the UK, I`m still looking for work, been offered some jobs but money and hours not suitale..Not expectin UK money but some are takin the piss.You have to get used to travellin from burb to burb,, but fuel is cheap up to now. I`ll have to go down the mine if dunt get sortrd. After all this rant I int goin back to Uk if I can help it , one more thing ale is bloody dear but on th positive my liver will be feeling a lot more better
keep the dream n don`t have nitemares YP Perth n luvin it Gizza job I can do that I'm sure you'll get a good job out there soon enough.........just don't become a wine taster....LOL Beth x x :wub: |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by Babycatcher
(Post 6009889)
Ok, I haven't been on here for a while...months really. Me and the kids came back from the reccie last April (OH couldn't come) and I was overwhelmed. I LOVED it, it's so far away, but I loved it etc etc. Am sure part of it was I was finishing my degree and I couldn't cope with the decision making. So now? I finished my degree last Sept (still reasonably mentally stable :blink:), celebrated A LOT! Managed to get a part time job (am a midwife) in a local hospital and have settled there well.
Now my life is calm and what should rear its ugly head...the voices. Yep the 'we should go to Oz' voices... OMG! We hadn't decided not to go just to not think about it. There were a few things about the possible job offer that weren't right - mainly I had to work full time and that was never the plan, especially if we emigrated as I wanted to help the kids adjust. Anyway...this weekend the kids (now 12 and 9) started saying - are we going to go? and STOP THE PRESS, my son (12) said I think we should go I think it would be great! (He spent the whole reccie trip saying 'I don't wanna live here' - until I threatened him with violence and reminded him it was an adult decision)...so where am I going with this? It's my OH! He is really reluctant. He used to be quite up for it and now...he is less than keen. He HATES his job, still works 6-7 days a week, in London, commuting 2-3 hours a day. He has little time with any of us and wants to sleep most of his time off he is so knackered [we have looked into alternative work here -it's not an option]. He has no qualms about leaving family and friends. He just says that he can't give up a well paid job for the unknown, that he wouldn't get an I.T. job in Brisbane as he has no degree (just 25 years experience with U.K. government - HE WON'T EVEN LOOK!), that if we sell then we will never be able to afford another house in the UK...etc etc. He stopped short of saying he is too old (he is 46, I am 35) So do we just give it up? After all the research, time and investment, emotionally, mentally and financially? I don't wanna bully, manipulate or push him - that wouldn't be right. I just feel SO FRUSTRATED! It's been left that I told him that he had to decided what he wanted to do, that I would stand by him if he said NO. But that I needed to make a decision one way or another and get on with my life. But if we are going I wanna be gone by next summer (Son starts GCSEs that Sept and daughter finishes primary, I will have worked for 2 years post qualifying). He knows we would like to go (with cat and now a small dog too, in tow)... He knows all the stats that the majority of expats stay in OZ etc. Now I just need to be patient or should I just wake up a small the coffee he doesn't wanna go!? Please help, any advice? I am devastated that my OZ dreams might be over :( I hope this doesn't come across like I'm a bitchy old bag of a wife. I love my husband to bits and just want a better life for all of us...and I think Oz is it! Kind regards to all of you Babycatcher Sorry for blabbing on.:D |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice. I have calmed down a bit. My best friend said I shoud tell him to get a bl@@dy grip! Anyway the long and short of it is that I said I felt that is was NOT OK to decide about whether or not to go without doing real research about job prospects etc... The jury is still out...fingers crossed for me guys. :)
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Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by BethandAndrew
(Post 6010921)
Glad to see you're settling in to Ozzie life well :thumbup:
I'm sure you'll get a good job out there soon enough.........just don't become a wine taster....LOL Beth x x :wub: |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by keenymeeny
(Post 6009939)
I hate to quote Ian Botham, but life is not a rehersal. This is the real thing. We pontificated for years. We made the move last December and I still pinch myself every day.
Surely the Ian botham quote was "walk you b@@@@@d ":lol: M@@@ |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by BethandAndrew
(Post 6009916)
Try talking to him whilst holding a frying pan........men tend to notice you're talking to them then.....LOL :thumbsup:
Seriously though.........maybe suggest starting the visa process......if you get your visa granted then you can honestly say you could go to Oz if you wanted to then, rather than hearing voices for the next few years!!!! :eek: One life you got......so grab every opportunity with both hands and never let go :thumbup: Good luck, Beth x x :wub: Good luck whatever you decide, Alex |
Re: 2 Go or Not 2 Go....that is the question!
Originally Posted by Kangy-roo
(Post 6026120)
This is good advise (the Visa bit, although I might try the frying pan out :eek:). It was me that has always held back from moving to Australia. I worry about leaving our family, and worry that we would be just chasing a dream. However when it got to just before my OH's 44th Birthday I agreed that it wouldn't harm to apply for the Visa, so that at least we would have a choice. Since then I would say that I am probably as driven by the dream as much as my hubby and boys (12 and 10). If nothing else we are about to start an adventure. I can see your OH's view in that he is the main bread winner and he is probably providing very nicely for his family, it takes alot of thought before you risk your families security. However life should not be all about work, and from what I gather that is something the Aussies have got sussed. :cool:
Good luck whatever you decide, Alex You have to work beacause Oz is the land of Kerching "Hello " "Oh Hello" Kerching Kerching be prepared to payu pay pay |
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