paulry

Sounds rather like the UK town that my family and I once lived in. When we came over to Australia for our validation trip nearly 6 years ago and then returned to the UK until we could get ourselves sorted it was a bit of a shock to go from everyone smiling and positive in Australia to glum and nearly hostile in West London. Now after 5 years of living in Australia we love how relaxed, friendly and benign everything is here. This is most definitely home for us

Pollyana

Its weird isn't it - one of my complaints about Brisbane is trying to find a unit to rent that has a bath as well as a shower! Yet when I go home,everyone I stay with has both!

I agree its down to location inside the country. I usually stay around Gatwick, and between Bath and Bristol, fairly well-off areas, good jobs and incomes - very different frm the UK Ozzie was in.

Lorry1

Oh thank you so much. We really need people feeling sorry for us because it's just so awful here!

Well, for what it's worth, I am really happy in England and I love being back here.

If you're judging a Country on how well they cook steaks, then yes, I have had some bad steaks, mainly from chain pubs like Chef & Brewer, but I have also had some really stunning mouth watering steaks from decent independent restaurants. If I do go to a chain restaurant, I tend not to order steak for that reason, but other items on the menu are top notch.
Eating out in the UK has improved so much in the last 10 years and I really enjoy it and do it whenever I get the chance. In fact I am meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow

I do not have to slalom around any dog poo but yes a good slalom around parked cars is not uncommon. It definitely isn't a make or break for me.

I live in a relatively nice part of the UK. There is plenty of green space and trails to walk the dog off lead. There are nice restaurants & pubs. I can get my London fix and be there in an hour on the train. I can also be out in the Countryside in no time at all. The people are great on the most part with plenty of laughs and chatter in the shops and on my walks. I talk to anybody which also helps.

I lived in Canada for 6 years, returned in 2013. Yes, Canadians (and Americans) do have smiles stuck on their faces and are generally more positive, but that's because they are in denial of anything crap that's happening in their country. You open the local paper and all of the shootings, suicides off the harbour bridge, car robberies, etc are in tiny print near the back. The news channels tell you how fabulous their Country is and don't play on the bad. Everything is nice and rosy and that's the way they like it.
Personally, I found it to be boring and fake and craved the busyness and atmosphere of the UK.

Everything in the UK is controlled by the gutter press. They spread hatred and fear to those who believe everything they read. Most people here have a good life and live it the full. That is what I choose.

The best part about being here is spending time with my lifelong friends who are my family. I really missed that while away and wouldn't leave again.

Anyway, I can't speak for OZ having never been, but have a nice life there

TravellerMan

I guess if you compare somewhere in Nova Scotia to within an hour of London, then yes there would be a difference in "busyness". Don't forget though, you did say that Canada was not the problem, you were - 5 years in Nova Scotia.

Lorry1

WOW I forgot I wrote that. Seems like a different life now. No, it wasn't Canada's fault really that I didn't enjoy it but I mean all I said about the news there - or lack of it. I love the thrill of the lifestyle here. I remember visiting New York after being in Nova Scotia for 2 years. We walked out of central station and I felt alive. It was fast, exciting & busy. I realised what I had been missing and I lapped it up for all of the 2 days we were there. I was sad to leave.

ozzieeagle

I've been here in Aus so long, that it's me that's changed. Things that I used to and apparently most UK oriented people find enjoyable, now contain and seem filled with elements that grind me down.

I'm just glad the countries are very different, as life would be very boring in everywhere were the same eh

I think the main thing you pointed out about smiling faces in the general community is a classic example of how ones perceptions change. We obviously have streets apart different views on that one.

I could go on about the more affluent countries having higher suicide rates as people in those countries have far less outside influences to concern themselves with and turn their worries inwards.... Or put another way, when life is tough, and everyday life throws up problems that need to be thought out and negotiated, people are far less likely to and let little things about themselves build up into what they see as insurmountable mountains.... But I reckon that would fall on deaf ears for most people that point this anomaly out.... However lived with a partner who has worked in Mental health for many many years, I know that's her firm belief.

Stay happy there... and enjoy. As did I last night.... first time back at work and I went back happily, to my smiling and apparently in some people views vacuous workmates. Heaps of laughs last night at work... I counted and have fully realised my blessings. It was the best return to work I've had in my 45 years in the workforce.

BEVS

I have wondered this about myself. All of our joint extended family and friends back in the UK are perfectly fine and have happy lives. They are all ages , from young to old. Some starting out with independent lives and families of their own and some past that stage and a little ....older.... shall we say I
t is not doom, gloom, grime and sour faces in their UK worlds at all. They have wide and varied lives with a huge amount of interests , hobbies and travel plans.

I've been in New Zealand for 12 years and we have not afforded for me to go back for the past 7 years, although we ensure MrBEVS gets back for his old Mum every 15/18 months or so.

I do wonder how I have changed in those years living my everyday New Zealand 'lifestyle' and how I would find the general UK if I made a visit . Would it all be much the same to me or would I have altered in some way to make it seem less like the home in my heart.

ozzieeagle

Do you know what Bev's I've come to the conclusion that after missing ones family the biggest pointer on if someone is going to adapt/take to their newly chosen country, is indeed that "finding annoying" seemingly innocent trait of people out and about smiling, especially combined with meeting new people or interaction with strangers.

If one get's annoyed at these traits, I reckon, it's a major pointer that they are destined to head back to the UK.

It seems like such a strange thing to find annoying to me.... hollow/vaccuous or whatever, I see it as fault finding, hence my view on potential return. There are plenty of people that do find it annoying.... even with the explantion the reaction still mystifies me. Surely it beats a scowl a blank or indifference.

I dont mind admitting that the lack of smiling by strangers was quite a major factor in my lack of appreciation or feeling comfortable out and about in the UK this time around.


I'm not saying there were no smiles by strangers in the UK in fact there were plenty....but a much much reduced percentage....

Grayling

People see what they want to see

I found Australia a gloomy and depressing place....and the people shallow and boring....
People seem much happier and interesting where I live now.

Beoz

How often have you been to other parts of Europe in winter? I can name a number of areas in Europe that receive a good deal of sunshine in winter in conjunction with good precipitation. The UK on the other hand does tend to have a constant overcast and drizzle for the long winter.

Wow that's a bit of a broad weeping statement. Where are we talking? Brisbane again? You know, there are plenty of people in Australia who get a good helping of sunshine without getting skin cancer.

I bet you didn't know that a lack of sunshine which leads to vitamin D deficiencies also leads to the development of prostate and breast cancer.

BEVS

Oddly NZ people can and do suffer VitD deficiency through not being able to expose the skin to the sun. We have that ozone hole thing so almost instant burn time really.

Anyway. I wasn't pondering on the different types of smiles and grins to be had on the mushes of people I do not know and have not met. Be those grins genuine , gritted or rictus & I'm not bothered on weather. Weather is weather .

I was more pondering on what you wrote about changing inside as a person . A shift perhaps that one might not realise in oneself. Would I simply fit right on in if I made a UK return or would I be left with things that did not feel a good fit for me anymore and so really the same as for here in NZ where I neither fit or don't fit.

Interesting

Beoz

Weather can affect the smile on the mush too.

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder/Winter Depression?

ozzieeagle

Nigel Waring summed it up in his 40 years in Aus thread.... He feels like a foreign person in the country of his birth.... and gets funny looks re still having a UK accent yet being careful and negotiating his way around the UK which feels as foreign to him as anywhere he's been. I'm somewhat of the way down the same road as him. I certainly have taken on Aus likes and Dislikes. I actually wonder if NZ would 'feel' more familiar to me than the UK.... even though I've never been to NZ before.

I think I'll make the land of the long white cloud my next holiday destination, I know it's a beautifully scenic place and when it comes to Aussie tudes there is a wild variation of opinion on Kiwis, which is interesting. I'd like to test out which side of the fence I fall on that one.

I dont spose there's blokes with beards, jumpers with leather elbow patches spouting CAMRA mantra there ? That would certainly be a familiar reminder of the past.... Recent and long

Tr1boy

To me, all of your posts read in a way that you are shocked that the UK has changed (although when you use the term 'UK' the descriptions you use bear scant resemblance to any of the places I've lived here). I've lived in 5 countries (properly lived not extended stays), visited 37 and worked in about 12. Now, admittedly my wings have been a bit clipped since having 'Flipper' two years ago but the one thing that hasn't changed in all these years and trips, is that ALL countries change. Oz to me is virtually unrecognizable from the place I first moved to in the mid 80s, and not in any good way (except 'maybe' better clothing choices for men) but I can still identify with it, as I can the UK. You strike me as a person that has lived in Oz for a very long time and your experience of living in a place is either Oz or UK? I guess that's the case for most people here and I am in no way belittling that at all. It's just that sometimes, a wider world view puts things in perspective. Everywhere is changing, pretty fast, maybe not as fast as the UK, which in turn isn't changing as fast as some countries in Europe. The team that report to me are all over Europe and on my travels, I'm quite surprised at the changes there. I can't say I'm really happy these last couple of years in the UK 'something' isn't quite right that doesn't gel with our wants and needs but not to the degree that I'm reading on here. We returned to Oz for a 2 mth visit in 2013 and neither of us 'felt it' as it were, so we decided to have our child in the UK and see how things went. So I get what you are saying about some parts of the UK but not to the degree you are stating it and Oz isn't the first place I'd return to and think 'ahhh, that's better' but it wouldn't be the worst choice either. I think I'm a 'little bit Column A and a little bit Column B'

Tr1boy

Sorry about the massive text block. It always does that from my work PC (bloody Windows )