trutje

We are moving! Yeah right! Moving to another house in bleeding UK
I really didn't want to do this before going back to Barbados, but the landlord has sold the house we're renting. Luckily we can rent from a family member who has bought a house in Wales and offered us to rent their house here in Portsmouth for the time being. (it's bigger and in a nicer area)
My husband is trying to lift me up by saying that at least it will give me something to look forward to on a shorter base. Not to concentrate on Barbados too much, because that's not going to happen soon...
But we're in UK for a year now and I hated it from day one
Uk was always a nice place to visit for a week or two but actually living here is just a shock to my system.
My two oldest boys are still living in the Caribbean, one in Barbados and the other one in Trinidad. I was planning to see them in Juli, but now with this stupid move I can't afford to go! And I miss them sooooo much! Well, as you can see I'm feeling pretty s*it, sorry I had to bother anyone of you with this but maybe some of you can give some sort of support to make me feel better.(and NO, I'm not asking for a ticket)
Because at the moment Barbados seems to get more and more out of my reach

ail38

Hey, I know how you feel I really do. I want to get to Barbados too and without saying too much on here, for very personal reasons. The wait seems never ending. Keep the faith though, if you want it badly enough, it will happen.

12ellie12

Aw Trutje, I'm sorry. At least you're still near the sea & it's sunny at the mo. Chin up x

trutje

Thank you, lovely's, I hope once we're all living in Barbados we should have a reunion and have a laugh about all of this

Good luck to you too, Ail38!!

mizzy

like ali30 and trutje, i want to be permanent in barbados too. i will be there in july for another regular trip, but it will end in tear when i have to return to the UK!. this site is so inspiring and gives us advice, ideas and hope.

ail38

Hi there. We should all get together and have a Barbados brain storming night! I'm hoping to go again in September for another two weeks and then going again by Xmas for 6 month. I'm hoping during that time to make some contacts so I can get a work visa. It's so hard to do that though in Barbados. The thing is you look forward so much to going and then it's so depressing when you get back. Made even worse by the fact that lI ove someone who lives there! I hope you have a great trip Mizzy.

trutje

In a way I must be glad not to go in juli,I don't trust myself to return back to UK
Four years ago my husband went 3 months earlier to BB to start work, I went to see him after a month, just to see if I would like it, but my husband had already assured me I'd love it. But anyway, once I was back home I cried my eyes out for two weeks day and night!!! Not just because of my husband, but also to be back in a sort of depressing world after experiencing BB. I couldn't hide it from the kids, it was awful
So, hopefully when I return to BB next it would be either a short while before moving there or for good.
I do hope we'll all meet up, Belinda I'm sure is up for this too, and have a good wild night And who knows, we might need eachother in hard times in the future, even in BB Keep your chin up girls
xx Cathy

Belinda1974

Hey trutje,
I can totally imagine how you are feeling these days... Its the same here, every new day I wake up here I hate my surroundings more and more, and I just wish that the departure day for Barbados is coming soon. But sure, I have just 27 days left for a short trip to Barbados, but this trip will be a very important one for our relocation in January....I do really hope that you will be able to go to BB VERY soon, who knows, just don´t give up, it may come earlier than you now think!!!!! So just think of your happy days in Barbados, it could help sometimes. And once I will be there, I will send you some sunny and warm hugs from our island. I am sure, once you will be there too, we will be friends and it will be wonderful. I am sad that you can´t go in July, but maybe it will be possible in January, when we already settled down??? Would be soooo great to have you there in our early days!!
So - don´t give up ok?????

trutje

Thanks Belinda, I knew I could count on you
Do you know what sometimes annoyes me? When you try to explain to people how you feel(colleges and neighbours etc) they look at you like you've got two heads And then I just want to shout at them like; do you really believe it's so great here!!!!??? You stupid stupid person!!!
Yeah, I know, it's all starting to get to me and makes me feel agraggressive|_My husband even suggested to go to the doctor, he thinks I might go trough the menopause Bless him
I hope this is just another fase I'm going through and I'll wind down soon

I'll keep you up to date anyway, because something else has been suggested to my husband I'll let you know as soon I know more
xx Cathy

Belinda1974

Hi Cathy,

I had to laugh, reading what you wrote about your friends and neighbours when you try to tell them how you feel! Honestly, I gave up to tell other people about our plans and how I feel here, it just has no sense. I experienced that most of the people are thinking they are living in the best country of the world, they are such ignorants. But that´s OK for us, because I never felt really at home here, I am just a different person. And I am sure that some of these people shaking the heads now will be jealous when we finally have left the country, heading to the Caribbean to live there. I would like to be a mouse, sitting under their tables and listening what they say

Just think of yourself, you have to live YOUR life, and nobody will live it for you. Thats how I live and I think you should do the same. Real friends will be happy with you and will understand (at least try to) how you feel, all the other ones, just forget them *sorry*

I think we both are really very similar

mizzy

i couldnt agree with you more. i am told my thoughts on barbados are 'fairy tale' by family and friends all i will ever need is in the UK. i am SO pleased to hear there are others too and its not just paradise syndrome, middle age crisis and menopause.

every day spent in the UK is one less in Barbados..............

trutje

Belinda, you're absolutely right, we all have to live our own lives
Sometimes I envy those people who are happy with settling down in the western lifestyle, but it has never been for me. Too many restrictions for my taste And it probably is in someones character to take a step like we all want to do So I definitely think we have a lot in common

Mizzy, I had to giggle about your comment of the paradise syndrome, it's so true that some people think it's good enough for a holiday but no way to really lead the life. How ignorant is that!?
When I left 4 years ago I had the biggest argument with my own mother about this:" I had to be realistic, sun, sand and beach is not all that's important in life , I, for once, had to except my life how it was."
No way!!!!!!!!!

I am feeling so much better now I know I'm not the only one, me and my husband have these feelings on and off, but luckily not at the same time
Sometimes he suddenly starts talking about Australia or New Zealand but then realise it's the Caribbean we really want to be.
Things are looking up for the company we want to set up and the time will come we won't have the time to enjoy beach sun and sea, but I couldn't care less, as long I'm surrounded by lovely happy healthy looking people I'll be in my element

ail38

Girls, I have the same problem. Everyone thinks I am mad to even consider moving to Barbados. I would go as far as to say I will lose my family. Thing is, you only get one life.....

Belinda1974

.....Thats true!! Same here......That´s the reason why I stopped telling anybody of our plans! Best friends and parents already know, standing behind us, all the other ones doesn´t matter to us anymore!! You should think the same, it is your life and there is only one!

trutje

The thing is that after you've told people you're going to move back to BB, and a while later tell them you're moving to another house in the UK, they all have these smug expressions on their face

You're lucky your family is happy for you Mine certainly weren't, I still don't speak to them.
My dad and his wife helped me all the way through, the rest just tried by "not helping" to want me to stay
It's funny how family-members think they can tell you how to live your life, even when you are a 41!!!!!!!!