Brunettebunny

I had this problem. I was with someone for 4 years, he is black bajan, I am white english. I had no end of stick - the women thought I was taking their men, the men slapped my BF on his back and said another tourist, what you getting out of it? You can't judge everyone with the same rod, but its rife anywhere - I live in Bermuda now, and whilst its not so bad as its not such a tourist destination, it still happens. I always felt we spent more time defending our relationship than having it.
At the end of the day, as long as you find strength in your relationship, who cares what anyone thinks? Although I don't agree with all of the actions, you have to remember what the locals see in the tourists sometime - its really horrendous behaviour and at the end of the day, how do they differentiate between a tourist and an expat resident? Not saying its right - but I can see how it would manifest....
I was in exactly the same position as you - and like I say, you have to let it roll off your back....
Hope this helps
x

Lindi2

Reading these threads brings back memories of when I first visited Barbados in 1992 with my husband.

I can remember feeling really annoyed and upset about the attention we were attracting, as there wasn't that many mixed race couple walking around in those days. People were only too happy to voice their opinions, and the usual sucking of teeth

I was very lucky to have such supportive in laws who welcomed me into the family immedietely, and as the years have gone by, we have become very close. They were there when I came back from town, spitting fire because someone had called my husband a coconut - black on the outside & white on the inside.

These days I do not notice if anyone passes a comment, nor do I care a jot.
We have a beautiful 10 year old daughter and 21 years of marriage behind us.

butterflysue1

What a nice story obviously love conquered all in your case. I wish you continued health and happiness.

vikki85

I really worry what people think of me and my H2B. I am white english and he is black bajan. I know people look at us and assumme that we have only just met - holiday romance, and not that we have a 4 years relationship behind us. I know a lot of local guys have 'fun' with tourist girls when they are on holiday - I know some that even have 'girlfriends' that live in UK/USA/Canada but think nothing of seeing other girls on the side. This is probably what makes their fellow locals 'judge' the mixed raced couples. I have a friend (lives in UK as she is at uni, but mum lives in Barbados 10 out of 12 months) who is white that has a black boyfriend from the same gap as my H2B. Whenever we are on the island together, we often go out as a 4 together and we are both conscience of what people think - 2 white girls out with 2 local lads???????????

I am hoping that I can learn to not be bothered by the looks and comments when I am living there!!

Serendipidy

Well in my experience its been the same in the uk - i dated interracially nearly 30 years ago and its got a lot better so i am so immune to comments now - actually my last partner really had to take alot of stick from his local female friends over dating a "tourist".

Its exactly the same in any cross culture so its a case of knowing the deal and growing a thick skin cos you cant change anyone else - as far as a lot of the bajan women are concerned the men are only after us for the money and your right vicki that originates a lot from the hustler scene. When you see how some of the tourist women carry on "fallin in love" after a 2 week holiday and sending money etc you can see where some of the preconceptions come from.

Everything about all of us on this site is that we are different from the "norm" - yep we have broken the convention of staying where we came from and decided to explore different cultures - along with that comes the price of being seen as an outsider and a figure of curiosity - personally i take it as a compliment that little old me might arouse some interest and talk (mind you when yu see my booty all would be explained lol).

Just expect it and then ya wont be suprised when it happens - and embrace any opportunity you can get to exhibit the real you

Sunniebgi

as someone who is married to a Barbadian and has 3 Barbadian children and who has been here 16years, I've seen much of what has been good, and bad, about Barbados. While I've "wished" for things here that I remember from "back home", I have learned to "go with the flow" and be a good Barbadian Citizen. The problem is, going with the flow ain't going to move this island into the 21century where it really needs to be. Things take time, they trickle in.. Trust me when I tell you, I don't like seeing boys and grown men wearing too big pants over boxer shorts haning out, and that didn't seem to take to long to get here from parts around the globe.

I'm fairly certain my little poe-dunk hometown in North Carolina is only just learning about reusable bags as well (only saw them in the major stores last summer, but not before)..

I've also witnessed how an island can grow and learn and be suddently drawn back into the "dark" ages by people who thought they knew better. (the govt had taken off about 60pct of the duties and controls on foreign goods shipped into the island when 9/11 happened.. and the next day, the island went "100 bajan" crazy, the govt slapped even more duties and controls and things and we went back to where we were 20 years before that date..)

We have to grow and change, just like the rest of the world.

and trust me.. an interracial couple (which I'm not. sorry we are both white) is far more accepted in Barbados than it would ever been in my poe-dunk little town in NC..

afish

My partner is black Bajan and I am white British. I'm very fortunate not to have come across any of these nasty looks and comments that you describe. Not sure how that's happened!! I move around without any bother at all. My partner's friends and family couldn't be more supportive of our relationship. We're on the West Coast, not sure if the behaviour you're talking about is here but we certainly haven't noticed it, maybe that's because we're too wrapped up in our 6 month old son!!!

Hope it gets better for you.