backtoreality

I have been back in the UK for two years now and thought I'd share my experience as British Expats was invaluable when my husband and I emigrated to Canada four years ago.

A bit of background, we emigrated to small town Alberta for the chance of a better life, better job for my husband anyway, and after two years of living there, we decided to separate.

Quite a traumatic breakup truth be told and I was forced to move back to the UK, where, luckily, we still had a house that we had rented out in the meantime of getting permanent residency, and our bank accounts. Luckily too, we didn't have kids to consider, we did have a dog though and sorting out his return was easy-ish. Sadly he passed last year.

I guess I moved back to the UK under pretty crappy circumstances, to an empty house, a little saving and nothing else (I returned with two suitcases and a sports bag) and at the wrong time of the year, fall was about to start, followed by Winter so my story won't be your run of the mill return, however if I can do it, anyone can ;-)

My first year back was pretty difficult, trying to re-adjust to life here, on my own (my family lives in France) and very little friends (we had only moved here two years before leaving for Canada).

On the practical side of things, it didn't take me long to furnish my house enough to live with (charity shops are the best!), find a car (although the first one I bought was a lemon - doh), get the insurance sorted (they were happy to accept my no claims from Canada) and get a new driving licence. Just a bit of paperwork, nothing too drastic.

I was also extremely lucky to find a job for the same company I worked for before we left for Canada within a month of being back, albeit in a different job, pretty mind numbing but just what I needed at the time as I started to suffer from depression (I am now doing exactly what I did before leaving for Canada and loving it).

My depression eventually lifted, helped with low dosage medication (which I stopped last December), and I must say my life has now completely turned around and I am very happy to be back here.

Some of my reasons to be happy to be back home are as follows:

- I am closer to my family. I was never happy at the thought of being so far from them, when they were hitting their twilight years. I don't see them much being back, but at least I am close now and know I can get to them quick enough should I need to.

- I actually really like England, I realise now I only moved to Canada to please my husband. I missed so much about this Country, the forest and the close proximity of the sea (I lived in small town Alberta when in Canada) and really, the ease with which you can make friends here if you have the right attitude (a smiley disposition really helps). In Canada, despite having made a few "mates", we always seemed to be "the Brits". Here, despite being french, I feel British and very rarely does anyone call me Frenchie ;-)

- Of course the culture, but mainly the architecture - small town England is absolutely beautiful.

- The people. I have something about British people. I can't explain it, but I like them, they seem more accepting than other nations I have come across. Canadians are a special breed of people. Their National Proud can be quite taxing to be honest, especially when you think of the Natives and the way they are treated now - nothing to be proud of in my books. I am not saying there isn't the same type of issues in England but English people seem more able to deal with it. I guess they have had plenty of experience having foreigners move here in the past that they are ok (ish) with it now. I also guess we met the "wrong type" of people in Canada, as nice as they were, they had a very redneck attitude, which was pretty cool to start with but in the long run, I didn't have that much in common with them. There was a lot of drinking/smoking pot involved too, which ultimately shows you something is wrong. Not saying a lot of Brits don't have a drinking problem mind, but I am finding my new friends don't drink much and it suits me fine.

- the weather - well, ok, it does rain a lot more in England and that sucks. But give me the British weather any day over 6 months of Winter. And we had a real nice Summer this year, no-one appreciates those more than a Brit can ;-)

The one thing that I find seems to be missing in the UK, or at least where I live, is the sense of community that is often found in Canada. But I decided to take matters in my own hands and started up a couple of groups in my town via Facebook, a Social one and a Clean Up one, and slowly I am finding the community is there but just in need of someone getting people together. So far so good. I am really enjoying getting involved in the community and trying to make a difference to this little town I live in. It sure has given me a sense of purpose, which I badly needed.

People emigrate for various reasons, but if yours was, deep down, to find yourself, or as the case might be, a better chance for your relationship and you aren't finding what you are looking for and thinking of moving back "home", I'd highly recommend you do. It won't be easy, but, personally for me, well worth it.

Right, think I'd better stop the novel, if you have any questions, especially practical ones as I didn't cover any of that, please ask :-)

Oh, one last piece of advice, don't read the UK papers or watch the news, reality is nowhere like they say ;-)

Pas

pippalonghorn

Hi. Thankyou for the great post. It was very well balanced. Im so pleased you got through all of your problems and you have emerged at the other side just as strong. It gives me hope about when we return back home.

I really get what you mean about English people. But I suppose every country will say that about their own. I have defiantly re-discovered myself since coming to New Zealand. I have learnt so much, the qualities I thought I had I didnt, and the qualitites I thought I didnt possess I do! If that makes sense.

Im pleased your work life is good too. Sorry about your pet. Its awful to loose a pet as they become a big part of your family.

You sound like you have the right attitude and Im sure there are plenty more good things coming your way. Keep smiling.

TheEmperorIsNaked

A frank and honest and informative post. Well done to you!

Reading those newspapers is a fair point, I had begun to think that I would be savaged by False Widow spiders on touch down in the UK!!

Sally Redux

Poo trees!

Great post, backtoreality.

TheEmperorIsNaked

The ultimate nightmare: running from a False Widow spider and colliding with bags of dog poo!

I'm going to have to rethink my decision to return. It's a jungle out there

Lorry1

Hi backtoreality, what a great balanced post, and I have to say I agree with everything you wrote.

I returned after 6 years in Nova Scotia, Canada and do not miss it, at all.

Sorry to hear that you and your hubby divorced when you moved to Canada. Maybe it was the move that brought out the issues you never knew were there. Also sorry to hear about your dog, very sad

I am lucky to have moved into a neighbourhood where there is great community spirit. The ladies organise a day out each month to do various activities. This month we went to a falconry which was great and next month could be tubing at the local ski slope, wall climbing or go-karting.
Also the neighbourhood arranges a street BBQ once a year to get us all together.
I have lovely neighbours

I never read the papers anyway, never have and never will. They really are full of complete shite! I do watch the news though just to catch the headlines.

You really have to live your own reality and if you are having a good life then you don't have to worry about what else is going on.

Hope you continue having a great life here

TheEmperorIsNaked

Cumbrian Lass

First of all .......what a great thread and WELL DONE YOU !!!!!!
Where abouts were you in Alberta?
I agree with every thing you said and they are some of the reasons why we came back too. I didnt appreciate the UK as much as i do now,i love the lake district and some of the beautiful places we have here. I love the old towns ,churches and heritage,as well as the people . The great side to it too is we can get out 365 days of the year and not be stuck indoors for 6 months.
So happy for you

pippalonghorn

Your post has put a big smile on my face and has made me so excited to come back home. Spent all my childhood up the Lake District, every holiday and most weekends. Can't wait to get back up them mountains and feel free again.

Cumbrian Lass

I love it too
We moved to Kendal which in in the heaart of the beautiful lake district. Its a lovely little town and i could not imagine living any where else at the moment. We are still discovering places we didnt know about ,and still seeing breath taking views. Call in for a coffee if you get up this way

pippalonghorn

Wow it would be lovely to pop in. Thank you . We are returning to the UK in April. The Lakes is first on my list. My list is large as you can imagine!

Englishmaple

Backtoreality - thanks for your post - reading it has cheered me up a bit. I'm currently in London Ontario and hoping to move back to the UK in April. It was either that or move to Alberta for work - and after the winter we've been having in Ontario, I don't think I could do an Alberta winter!

Like you, I separated from my husband while in Canada. I'm going back with a small amount of cash and no property and no job - so it's a bit scarey really. Unfortunately my family aren't easy to be around so I'm not able to fall back on them like some have mentioned on this forum. In fact, in some ways, going back is awkward with respect to my family - having them at a distance was easier (I'm only just beginning to realise this). I plan to live in a different city from them though which should help.

Also, the person who said don't read the UK papers is, I think, so right on! I have one parent who I think channels the Daily Mail and is more right wing than Dick Cheney - it makes things difficult to listen to.

Anyway, just glad you posted - I've been having an attack of the jitters lately wondering whether I should stay in Canada and take a job at a Children's Aid Society somewhere but my heart is, I think, in the UK so I'm hoping that things work out when I move back.

pondhopper2014

This thread makes my heart happy! Thank you for the "novel" I really REALLY appreciate the details and innermost thoughts!
Blessings!

Cumbrian Lass

We will have been back 3yrs in August. I can honestly say its the best move we have made coming back home to the UK. It is beautiful,the people are so friendly ,there is heritage , tons of places to visit and the list just goes on and on. If anyone is thinking of coming back.......do it ! It did take 2 yrs for our son to settle as we were in Canada for 10yrs,so the culture shock was hard for him at first.But now he has adapted he too loves it too. Good luck to everyone