Struggling
 

Hi so we made the move back to uk at beginning of May from NZ after 15 years over there. Have a three year old and currently pregnant (moved at 21 weeks now 33 weeks). We’re currently staying at my husbands parents but have purchased our own place which we move into beginning of August. We’re really missing our nz life, home, weather, friends, everything. Please tell me this gets better, I’m hoping once we’re in our own place we might begin to settle a bit more. We’re just finding we’ve changed so much since leaving the uk it’s hard to reconnect with people that don’t understand living elsewhere - we didn’t come back because we disliked nz it was more we missed family for our children and wanted them to know their grandparents better etc so knew it would be a hard transition but not this hard! I can’t stop comparing everything which I know I shouldn’t but it’s hard not to (especially when I’m comparing medical/maternity care - it is soo not as good here!). How long did it take to settle and actually feel at home back in the uk? And did anyone move and then move back again later down the line?

Re: Struggling
 

Hundreds of people have done what you have done and have had remorse for several months after.
Several have moved back to NZ.
If you just look down the threads you'll come across lots of 'moving back after X years in XX" or even X years in NZ

Looks like you asked this same question in 2023..... and you've hopped back and forth a couple of times now....

Re: Struggling
 

Fifteen years is a long time, and needs a big adjustment - I know, I did 19 years in Brisbane before coming home last year. I had no doubts at all, I wanted 100% to be home, but it still took me time to adjust to a few things, and change some of my thinking back to the UK way. I did very little comparing, though some is inevitable, I had the same mindset I had when I first moved out there - you're here, now just get on with it! I didn't do comparisons with medical or anything like that as the systems are different, they really aren't comparable, I just accept what there is! Most of my old UK friends have just remained online friends, I have new ones now, made since I came home, and we rarely touch on the Aussie thing, its just not relevant.
I settled at once, I wanted to be here, no intention of ever setting foot in Aus again, and have always felt at home - even when only back on holiday.

When you first went to NZ, did people say to you, as they did to all of us in Aus - don't compare to the UK as you're now in a new country with new ways to learn> Maybe thats the way to look at your 'new' life in the UK? The less you make comparisons, and accept the differences, the sooner you may feel at home :)

Re: Struggling
 

Hi, excellent advice by Pollana, we lived in Australia for 12 years by DH 14 years, I knew it would be “different” coming back home as nothing stays the same, we wanted to come home like you we did not dislike Aus and we did “well” there but we missed culture and Europe etc, the first few months we lived with my dad and then had our “own” place we did not settle in the same area, some of our old friends had “moved on” or overseas a couple have remained friends but that’s okay you can always make new friends, we decided we wanted to see more our this lovely country so we “do” little trips and explore regions we have never visited before, we have made new friends that have more in common with us now than when we last lived here, you have a baby in the way, try and think of making your new house your lovely family home, you will meet new friends at baby groups etc you will be able to “go out” as a couple on your own a bonus to having “family babysitters” I/we did tried not to compare things to Aus and if we did we looked for the benefits rather than the negatives, it’s all new to you here so treat it as a newcomer it does make a difference, time is a great “settler”, wishing you the best