MissBetty

Hello everyone, been catching up with some of your stories and must say its lovely to see others returning home and to find out how you are all getting on.

Well most of you are probably going to have to deal with the inevitable question of why did you come home etc etc, I wish I had a pound for everyone who has asked me that tbh!

Well as some of you may recall I recently went on a family holiday to Ireland, we had a great time and managed not to strangle each other - amazing! Well I came back to work 4 weeks ago but Dad wasn't feeling too well, he's had bloating and pain for a few weeks now but the GP thought it was constipation and sent him home with laxatives. Since I have been away he collapsed and ended up in hospital and, I'm sorry to say, it turns out he actually has cancer.

We are all completely shocked, yes he is in his 70's but he doesn't drink or smoke and was happily riding his bike into town and back only 8 weeks ago, never took a tablet in his life apart from the odd paracetamol.

I'm devastated especially as I am away at sea atm, once I came to terms with it I thought he would be ok but now I am not so sure. The cancer is rare, hard to locate and very aggressive. My Mum keeps saying he will be ok but my sister has told me to prepare for the worst, its been a rough couple of weeks.

So this is why I came back and whatever happens, I'm so glad I did if only to spend the last year with him and thank goodness we had that family holiday. I might have to stop working for a while and help out at home but of course I don't mind. Dad is refusing to go back into hospital atm so my Mum is caring for him and she can't do it alone as he needs injections etc. My sister is medcially trained and is doing what she can but she works and can't be there everyday.

Me? Well I'm in a bit of a tailspin right now, all plans right out of the window, I've applied for a part time job at an NHS urgent care unit just in case I have to stay home but I think I completely stuffed up the application form anyways - oops!

I must admit I have had some days - and I am being completely honest here - I had the odd twinge of doubt and thought maybe if I'd given Perth a try (have lots of friends and family there) I might have made a go of things in Oz. Still its the curse of the expat isn't it? To wonder, to have good and bad days, to have regrets, to have second thoughts etc.

I guess what I am trying to say is spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, accept there will be days when you wonder if you did the right thing, accept that plans will fall through and sometimes people won't be there for you like you thought they would. However there will be days when you think YES this is awesome, I fit in again, this is what I missed and everything in the world is just right!

I don't know what is going to happen but I am taking one day at a time right now, you never know what is round the corner but I am a firm believer that you always end up where you are meant to be - even if its a path you don't choose but get shoved down sometimes!

curleytops

It's hard to think of just what to say when you hear something like this MissB - sorry just sounds so lame. My thoughts are with you, your Dad and family. You are a strong and wise lady and a great source of love, courage and inspiration to your family. A big hug and good wishes to you all.

Perth

How devastating for you and your family. Wishing your father the very best care, and that his suffering be minimised as much as possible. (((BIG HUGS))) to you too

Karrie72

Very sorry MS Betty and thanks for letting us know how you're doing. Sending positive thoughts for your Dad. Btw my Dad was diagnosed with aggressive bowel cancer 10 years ago and given a 50/50 chance of mortality. He's still here today and fit as a fiddle.

fulwood

MissBetty, As you may know my brother lived with me the last 4 years of his life. Would give my life for him to be back on earth and healthy.. I did not work much the last year or so before his death. I am so glad I had all that time with him. I have many regrets but at least I can say I spent enough time with him.. Miss him so..

lf1

Miss Betty, so sorry to hear the news about your dad. Thinking of you and your family. Take care.

fulwood

MissBetty, I selfishly got to say my thoughts are with your and your family. And with your skills there will always be other jobs.

feelbritish

Miss Betty, so sorry to hear your news about your dad. Glad you have had that family holiday and are home to be near him. Wishing your family lots of love, comfort and hugs. It just seems so hard to say anything meaningful xxx

quoll

Oh Miss B, so sorry to hear that! Not much you can do in situations like that but go with the flow and do the best you can! I find that the CotE raises it's ugly head whenever the going gets tough (as of course it does from time to time) - normal behaviour really. I hope all goes better than you are probably realistically expecting!

MissBetty

Thanks one and all for your kind words, it really means a lot to me especially as I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean right now. I know so many of you have been through this with family members getting ill and having 'wobbles' so will understand how I feel. I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worse just have to wait and see what happens now. Thanks again x

NiHao

MissB,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. Sending all good thoughts for him and do you and your family.

morayeel

Hugs Miss Betty.. I am not good with words but just wanted to say thinking of you and your family xx

lgabriel73

So sorry to hear the news about your Dad, sending lots of positive thoughts and healing energy his way. You are absolutely right about spending as much time as we can with family. This is part of the reason why I moved back. I have my moments of doubt but your post has reminded me that home is where I am supposed to be. Hoping for the best for you and your family.

windsong

Really sorry to hear this news, Miss Betty, but things might just turn out to be okay. Fingers crossed for you and your family.

MissBetty

Hello again bit of an update, unfortunately my Dad has gotten worse and he is being transferred to a hospice this morning. I feel sick and I feel numb, its been so quick I'm struggling to come to terms with it.

I asked my company for some time off and got lots more than I wanted - they've let me go, I'm gobsmacked as I have worked so hard to get where I am and never let them down once but I am a contractor so nothing I can do.

I'll be home tonight so will go and see him first thing, still hoping for a miracle cos you just never know but am preparing to say goodbye if I have to.

Funny how your life can change so quickly and without warning but I am glad I got to spend the last year with him. I'm taking a couple of months off for now, luckily I have some savings but as for the future who knows? I'm just doing the best I can right now and trying to believe that everything will work out as it should. so many times I've had a door slam in my face only for another, better one to open.

Will check in with you all soon, thanks again for all your kind words, I'm not exaggerating when I say it means a lot to me so cheers x