It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

I thought I'd check in. It's been a while since I was here.

It's been a tough few years. I think my last post mentioned that my husband was diagnosed with Oesophageal cancer in September 2013. Unfortunately, after 18 months, he passed away last June. Throughout his illness I kept thinking that, if we'd still been in Arizona, we would probably have been bankrupted by co-pays, etc. And I would never had had the time off work to be with him throughout his chemo. As it is, I'm self-employed, and I was able to spend all of that time with him.

I am still self-employed. I think it's safe to say that I will never find a job in Town Planning in the UK. I've been out of the system for too long and, after the 'freedom' of US planning, the restrictions and the rampant NIMBYism would drive me nuts. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any kind of job. I don't know whether it's an age thing or whether employers think I'm overqualified...but it's demoralising to be on the scrapheap at the age of 56.

I don't miss Arizona. Having looked at the Arizona primary results, it's clear that Coolidge is Trump territory. So I'm glad I'm out of it. We went back to the US at Christmas to visit my parents. We were meant to go after my husband's funeral but we got as far as JFK before I tripped over someone's suitcase and broke and dislocated my shoulder. Anyway, long story short, my Dad got the money back for the tickets and we went in December, which I think was much better. I did wish that we lived near my parents. They live in Ohio, and it's very pretty and rural where they are.

But, on the whole, I'm grateful to be in the UK. When my husband was diagnosed, we were able to get an HA house in the village and it is a lovely village and everyone rallied round when Peter was ill.

So, I'm guessing I'm no longer ping-ponging. In spite of the occasional twinge of longing for a decent pizza or chimichanga, I'm okay with being in Blighty.

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

You might not be aware, Fatbrit shuffled off this mortal coil just over three years ago, in March. It was a couple of months, in May before his widow let the moderators know - and he had never said anything, not even a hint, that he was losing a battle with cancer. :(

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

Oh no! Thanks for letting me know. I'm really sorry to hear that. I remember him well. :(

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

You're welcome.

Sorry to hear about your loss and tough time trying to find work, but I am glad that you're glad you made the move back.

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

Hey...Geeandtee. It's lovely to see you back here again. I am so very, very sorry to hear about your husband.

:fingerscrossed: that you find work soon. Please keep in touch with us.

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

Thanks. It's strange but nice to be back. Good to see so many familiar faces. It's rare for a forum to have members that stick around for a long time. :)

I'm not optimistic about finding a job. The freelance editing is okay, it's just not a stable source of income since publishing is changing so much.

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

I'm so sorry about your husband but glad you were in the land of NHS.

I think the UK job market is extremely ageist. It's good that you have been able to freelance but I can imagine that it can be nerve wracking trying to plan your finances.

Whereabouts in the UK did you end up?

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

Thanks. And, yes, we were extremely grateful for the NHS. The support we received was second to none. And, luckily, we have a very good local hospice and they also offered a lot of support.

It is very ageist. Very demoralising to think that I'm on the scrapheap at the age of 56. The freelancing was a happy accident, but yes, it is stressful not having a regular income. When the widowed parents benefit stops next year, it will get difficult.

We live in Wiltshire, about 8 miles southeast of Swindon.

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

Oh my, GeeandTee, I am so sorry to hear about your husband, it must have been an awful time for you!

Don't sweat the age stuff - you've got time for another whole new career so none of this "scrapheap" stuff (at nearly 67 I keep wondering what I am going to do "when I grow up"). I'm a firm believer in "something will crop up" so fingers crossed that good things will happen for you!

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

It was horrible. Watching a strong, vital man waste away like that. And he died right smack in the middle of our son taking his GCSEs. I honestly don't know how we got through it.

Thanks. I will keep plugging on. There's always my writing. Hopefully one of my books will take off one of these days. :)

Re: It's been a while (back 5 and a half years)
 

Hi Geeandtee,


I am so sorry to hear your husband has passed away, my dearest wonderful Dad passed away a year this Saturday and I still find it very hard but I keep hearing him say "pull your socks up jack and just get going" he use to say that to me most days when I was young girl lol. As Quoll says your still a youngster, young enough to re-train if you want (my hairdresser did at 50) give yourself time to think what you would really like to do and see which courses are available to you. Good luck, your Son sounds like a "strong" man and I hope he did will with his GCSE's.