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-   -   I think we're almost done here.. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/back-home-158/i-think-were-almost-done-here-856399/)

Tr1boy Apr 13th 2015 11:08 pm

I think we're almost done here..
 
Keeping this short as I'm unwell in bed ( and its a glorious day out ;) ) but I think we are heading towards the ' done with UK' decision. Been 5 yrs and for the most part have enjoyed it a lot ( we'll leave out the 15 mths of back surgery bit :lol:).

I've enjoyed just about every aspect of life here with a couple of notable exceptions, car parking and work culture. there are some things I can't put my finger on exactly but added up, for us in our own situation, they aren't gelling.

Don't know if it's the fact that I've had two bouts of unemployment here but due to our savings couldn't claim anything, all the while seeing posts on here and elsewhere being ' what can I get' as the first item of business. I feel like we've been ploughing too much of our money into the economy of a community that seems to have its hand constantly out.

I dunno, maybe I look at things differently now we have Flipper, but the things that made us smile and glad to be here no longer seem to hold the allure they once did.

I get tired of the political football being played by the pro EU anti EU gang. I just don't think I care much anymore and that's not really like me.

Gawd knows I don't like Oz much at all but I do find myself thinking about it more and I know really long term, that's where Mrs TB would like Flipper to grow up, certainly attend high school there.

Maybe because I've just turned 50 and think time is short, maybe it's because my contract job is working for a Russian Mgr who thinks a personality bypass is a badge of honour. I suspect it's a paper cut situation really.

Something isn't right in the state of TB though.:(

fulwood Apr 14th 2015 5:05 am

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
Always nice to here from you Triboy. 5 years is a long time so you gave it your all. Wish you all the best in your move back to Oz. I am going back to UK with eyes wide open knowing that I've lived longer in US than in UK. Good luck mate!

Famous 5 Apr 14th 2015 5:42 am

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
I wish you and your family well with your decision and your move - you have certainly had some ups and downs in the UK, but you have given it a fair shot and had fun in the process. The UK isn't going anywhere and you can always come back again in the future if you so choose.

I moved back to the UK only 9 months ago (after 8 years in Aus) so I am still firmly in honeymoon mode, but there are some things here (which are outside my control or influence) that are not how I would wish them to be and whether this becomes a source of irritation in the future remains to be seen. For the time being I am happy to rediscover the UK and Europe, enjoy having family close by and reconnect with old friends as well as making new ones.

All the best wherever you decide to settle. I look forward to reading about your future adventures, so please update us from time to time.

sallysimmons Apr 15th 2015 11:40 pm

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
Something that struck me when I read your post was that it sounded a bit like a person who has been married for 5 years. They're past the point of being in love and they've had ups and downs already that they've weathered together, but there's a point at which minor irritations start to become much more annoying, and things that were cute once just seem stupid now.

Sometimes, the irritation is too much and you have to get a divorce, sometimes you stick it out and eventually get used to the other person's foibles.

But one thing is for certain - getting used to things you don't like is going to happen one way or another. Because if you leave the spouse and meet someone else, nothing is more guaranteed than the fact that they will p*** you off too in 5 years time.

I don't say this to be flippant or to minimize the issues you face. I just think that everywhere is annoying for one reason or another. If you're going to make such a big move, you have to be as sure as you can be that the annoying things about Australia don't bother you as much as the annoying things about the UK.

On the flipside, most places are great in some way or another - whatever you decide, I think focusing on the positives as much as possible is the key to happiness.

Good luck!

Tr1boy Apr 16th 2015 12:20 am

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 

Originally Posted by sallysimmons (Post 11620358)
Something that struck me when I read your post was that it sounded a bit like a person who has been married for 5 years. They're past the point of being in love and they've had ups and downs already that they've weathered together, but there's a point at which minor irritations start to become much more annoying, and things that were cute once just seem stupid now.

Sometimes, the irritation is too much and you have to get a divorce, sometimes you stick it out and eventually get used to the other person's foibles.

But one thing is for certain - getting used to things you don't like is going to happen one way or another. Because if you leave the spouse and meet someone else, nothing is more guaranteed than the fact that they will p*** you off too in 5 years time.

I don't say this to be flippant or to minimize the issues you face. I just think that everywhere is annoying for one reason or another. If you're going to make such a big move, you have to be as sure as you can be that the annoying things about Australia don't bother you as much as the annoying things about the UK.

On the flipside, most places are great in some way or another - whatever you decide, I think focusing on the positives as much as possible is the key to happiness.

Good luck!

Well I've lived in 5 countries and generally rub along ok, so pretty sure I can cope with my decisions.

I'm not pissed off, just not sure what we are doing here any more. i lived in Oz so long that much as I want to deny it, our centre of life is there really.

Life in the UK isn't delivering what we want as a family, as I say ' for us, in our situation' ( that's the important bit!). We always figured it would be a temporary thing and to be honest it's probably gone longer than we thought it would. I think the UK under certain circumstances could deliver for us, but I'm just not that interested in constantly pursuing it at the expense of our savings.

We are very fortunate to have worked hard earlier and still have decent choices in life to pass on to Flipper.

SanDiegogirl Apr 16th 2015 8:10 am

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
Good luck with your new venture in Oz.

You've given us lots of good advice and information during your stay in the UK; stay in touch from the Aussie forum!

Tr1boy Apr 16th 2015 8:25 am

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 

Originally Posted by SanDiegogirl (Post 11620781)
Good luck with your new venture in Oz.

You've given us lots of good advice and information during your stay in the UK; stay in touch from the Aussie forum!

Thanks SD and everyone else. No set in stone decision yet but we are certainly looking at various options with more than just curiosity.

My outlook on life has changed enormously since having Flipper but I have regarded the move as one that will work, until it doesn't. I've never been afraid to go back and learnt to shrug my shoulders and go with what's best for Mrs TB and now us as a family ages ago.

Ironically, Mrs TB is happier here now than she was when we first came. She was surprised by the number of part time roles for qualified accountants in Sydney and Melb though, something that has been elusive for her here.

Now, where did I leave that upward inflection? ;)

Snap Shot Apr 16th 2015 9:43 am

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
Nice one. Good luck with your future plans.

You better get scrubbing your mountain bike and running shoes !

BEVS Apr 16th 2015 10:04 am

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
All the best to you and your family Tr1boy.

Happy days behind you and more happy days ahead.

Tr1boy Apr 16th 2015 5:30 pm

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 

Originally Posted by Snap Shot (Post 11620827)
Nice one. Good luck with your future plans.

You better get scrubbing your mountain bike and running shoes !


Don't have a mtn bike ( never ridden one at all actually). Riding in the UK is great compared to Sydney, so I will miss that a lot. But it will be nice to race with my old club again ( Manly Waringah CC).

I managed to get in my big European cycles races in the last couple of years and my big tri race this year is Ironman Wales but it's not until Sept 13th so that may be thrown under the bus, not sure yet.

Will definitely stay until May 30th because on that day I'm going here :rofl:

Phil Price Rally School Home | Rally School | Driving Experience Course | BARS Registered Rally School | MSA Recognised Rally School

Lorry1 Apr 18th 2015 10:12 pm

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
Hi Tr1boy,

It's good to hear from you. I remember you returning home and how wonderful everything was for you. I know you have also endured some health problems too.

Good luck for the future, wherever you may end up. You only live once and so make it a good one and go where you will be happy.

quoll Apr 19th 2015 6:48 pm

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 
Sorry to hear that the honeymoon is over TB! But ya go where ya gotta go I guess. Not sure that I would be putting HS in Sydney at the top of my list though! But I guess if you can afford a good private school it wouldn't be too bad. Good luck!

Tr1boy Apr 19th 2015 11:00 pm

Re: I think we're almost done here..
 

Originally Posted by quoll (Post 11623247)
Sorry to hear that the honeymoon is over TB! But ya go where ya gotta go I guess. Not sure that I would be putting HS in Sydney at the top of my list though! But I guess if you can afford a good private school it wouldn't be too bad. Good luck!

Thanks. Definitely private, UK or Oz. What's not definite is Sydney though. Been given some serious consideration to Melb at the moment. I used to surf at a competitive level which has always made Sydney appealing, but nowadays the expense of beach living/ buying is money I could better use to set Flipper up through uni etc given that prices of houses we were looking at in 2013 have risen another $150k plus. Seems isolated to Sydney.

A decent % of our friends are in Sydney but by no means all and I have competing in Victorian state time trial nationals, so know a few cyclists, triathletes and professional friends down there, so might look at Melb. I've stayed there on secondment from work long enough to know it pretty well.

I like Sydney though and have always been well connected to it. Mrs TB and I were pretty well set in our financial and social direction a few years ago, but having little one has certainly put off any thoughts of retiring early, pretty much any thoughts of retiring at all in my case.:lol:

Got a couple of friends who have moved from Melb to Syd and said they are never going back to Melb, and I have another that moved from my own street in Nth Narra, Syd to Brighton in Melb and he said he is never going back to Syd. So all in all, neither of them are a fat lot of good to me.:lol:

I suspect it will be Sydney in reality. Let's hope Flipper is really really good at golf or tennis.:fingerscrossed::rofl:


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