Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Ok well thought I'd just pop on here and give a proper update on how things have panned out for me since I came back to the UK 7 whole months ago :)

The time has really flown, there have been lots of 'ups' a few 'downs' and a completely unplanned work trip which took me back to Oz which I have already written about so I'll put that to one side!

Ok well I am still very happy to be back in the UK, the weather is completely miserable atm but it hasn't really affected me. Of course it was fantastic to come home to all that sunshine and it really helped ease the transition for me but I'm still out and about most days walking everywhere instead of using the car. I made sure I bought a nice warm coat, gloves and a sturdy umbrella, nothing worse than being wet AND cold, did get caught out a few times, lulled into a false sense of security by the sunshine, but after freezing my butt off once or twice I learnt my lesson!

Family is still the best thing about being back, its so nice to have them just round the corner and we are very close. What a treat it was to have a family Xmas and to go to my sister's cozy house for New Years Eve. I don't feel lonely anymore even though I live alone and do a lot of things by myself. I'm quite happy with my own company but its nice to have a choice for the first time in a very long time!

The freelance work is picking up nicely, I've just signed a new 12 month contract which is a relief as work has been quite patchy since I have been back. I just did some temp work on road as a paramedic until I'd finished all my courses so that helped pay the bills but I'm finally working offshore and I much prefer it plus the pay is so much better.

I had a lovely cheap holiday to the Greek Islands in October and I am off to France in the summer with my sister and her hubby. I can afford some nice breaks now and travel is so much easier from the UK so thats a definite plus in my book!

So that's the good bits folks - happy family life, better job, nicer car, fab holidays and I love being back in my cozy seaside flat but I feel I must be fair and mention the bad stuff too. Funnily enough I see other posters mentioning similar things to me so it seems to be a common theme amongst expats so here goes!

Ok the traffic - I still struggle with it, driving here is such a chore and it sends me up the wall that even with careful planning and leaving heaps of time I am always stressing like mad about being late for work/appointments/meetings. :frown:

People moaning like mad about stuff all the time, I am getting used to it but still its always the same old topics - UK is a s***hole/immigration/the weather/what the Daily Mail says - that paper should be banned - seriously.

Working for the NHS as a paramedic is just horrific - long shifts, poor pay, no breaks, stressed out nurses/other staff, drunk patients, abusive patients and I have noticed an increase in very obese patients too. Its changed dramatically in the 5 years I was away and certainly not for the better. Ok yes its always been part and parcel of what we do but I can't believe how bad things have become. My friend's daughter asked me the other day for advice as she is considering it as a career so I was completely honest with her - both good and bad - but I did suggest she might look into becoming a physicians assistant as another option. My offshore/teaching work is really taking off now and I am seriously considering giving up my 999 work altogether just for the sake of my own health tbh. 20 years in and I'm really quite over it and I never thought I would say that not in a million years.

Now onto the worst thing, some of my friends have been less than welcoming and yes, I know this subject has been covered before but I just thought I'd add my experiences. Funny another poster (Lola88) said that her friends didn't seem too bothered to see her even though they'd been begging her to come back as mine had as well. As some of you know I suffered badly from depression after being bullied at work in Oz and I put on quite a bit of weight - I am still me but just a slightly damaged version these days. The weight is starting to come off but its taking time as is regaining my confidence which took a huge knock when I was away.

My best friend (quick background, 45, single, wants a man, we have been friends for 30 years) could not wait for me to come home. We had done heaps of stuff together and she had come to visit me in Oz so thought we would be fine. When I first came back she kept hassling me to go out and be her 'wingwoman' but I didn't have a job, was still finding my feet and also, I felt embarrassed about my weight gain. I offered to go out for lunches and movies and to plan a summer holiday for 2014 but she got frustrated with me very quickly. I tried telling her how I was feeling but she wouldn't listen and kept telling me to 'pull myself together' as it was 'all behind me now'. Eventually she sent me a text calling me a drama queen which cut me to the quick, I had really had enough by then so I told her to sod off and we have not spoken since. V sad really and nope, didn't see it coming, am still quite bewildered that she couldn't just try and give me a bit of time to adjust and settle back in.

With my other friends its been fine but its always me who has to drive an hour or more to see them and fit around them and what they want to do. I do recall SallySimmons writing about this so I stick with it as, once I am with them, its really nice to have a good laugh and enjoy their company. As has been mentioned before by other posters, I was the one who went away so I keep plugging on, my social life is still better here than in Oz but I have to keep making the effort to get my friendships back on track.

Well I think I've been pretty honest so I hope this has helped anyone who is in the process of moving back!!!

The good news is I am off to India to meet my ship next week and I am very very excited! Will be a relief to have some regular money coming in also the company are sending me overseas on a work related trip, all expenses paid, in March which is great!!!! :thumbsup:

I'm still glad I moved back, I still truly believe it was the best thing for me despite a few hiccups and disappointments along the way. My life isn't perfect but its a LOT better than it was, I'm happy and looking forward to the future with renewed optimism!

Happy New Year everyone, hope you all have a fantastic 2014! :starsmile:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Can't believe it's been 7 months since you left Oz. Thanks for updates - always enjoy reading yours.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

What a fantastic update.. Good to hear about the good and bad. Mostly good I am glad to hear. Sorry about your friend not giving you time to adjust. On the whole you are happier being back and that is definitely what counts. Happy for you.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Great update as always Miss B. Don't you worry about that friend who I might add has a whole set of issues of her own...."45, single, wants a man"...I've seen them before (and so have the blokes running away from them), it's like they take complete leave of their senses and you've got enough to keep you busy at the moment. Concentrate on getting to where you want to be with yourself and just keep doing what you're doing. Before you know it your social calendar's going to be booked solid. Glad to hear you had a great first Christmas back, all the very best for 2014 :starsmile:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Thanks! I try to keep them going as I remember how much I enjoyed reading other people's when I was away! :)

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Cheers! Yes it's a strange thing to go through really, mostly good, no regrets but there are still a few days when things don't go your way but hey, that's life. Yeah I'm sad things have gone sour between us, I really didn't see it coming I thought we'd be friends forever. I've always been there for her but, sadly, she just couldn't be there for me :confused:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Thanks, always nice to hear from you! Yeah she's just become so obsessed with finding a man and yes, running away they are indeed. I was more than happy to play sidekick and help out but I needed some time. Even though I'd lived here for years and moved back to my old town/home etc it was a bit strange for a while and I had a lot to process. I don't think people understand that unless they have been there you know?

I'm hoping to make some new friends through my new job, maybe like minded people who like to travel and have some adventures too???! I've been single for a long time and I must admit the time has come where maybe, just maybe, I'd like to dip a toe in the dating pool once again ha ha! Still it will happen when it's ready and until it does I'd be happy with friendship, so here's hoping my new crew are as fab as the last lot!

All the best to you too, hope all is well since the move! :starsmile:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Thank you so much for the update. I have been following your journey for a while. I love your honesty the good and the bad. Makes it easier for me to get into the mindset of returning home. I know each persons experience is different but it helps reading the updates from those who have made the move back home

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

You're very welcome! I try to be as honest as I can as I know it really did help me when I was where you are atm.

With the friendship thing for example, I think I would have been far more devastated and taken it very personally if I hadn't read about other people on BE having similar experiences. I have come to accept now that I have to be the one who makes the effort with friends (as I've previously discussed) but I also realise when someone is being unfair that sometimes - hard though it is - you just have to let that person go :(

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

It is very hard isn't it. The big surprise for me has been that my oldest friends have been hard to reconnect with. I try and feel as though I'm making progress but then we fall backwards and I wonder.

On the other hand, I have reconnected with my best friend from high school and we're well on our way to being back to the way we once were, and I have made a new friend in one of our neighbours. I figure 2014 will be the year I work to make more new friendships, because maybe I can't count on the people I thought I could.

Glad to know I'm not alone in this, although obviously not happy that you are struggling.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

It is so hard sometimes and it seems to be more common than you'd think! I didn't expect a red carpet waiting when I got home but so many of my friends who said how much they missed me don't even text me from one month to the next. I always text them, call, organise fun things to do together, go to their place, we have a great time and then - as I don't hear from them - the whole cycle starts again!

I realise I've still got a few issues to deal with but the only person I really confide in is my sister on our long walks through the wood with the dog. I'm aware that my friends from before I moved overseas wouldn't understand and honestly? I don't want to talk about my dark days with them, it would serve no purpose. I try to put it in a way such as "Oh it's just weird being back" or "Oh I'm trying to find my feet still!"

I was completely honest with my best friend as I felt I kind of owed her an explanation of why Miss once size ten, up all night, full of fun, Party Girl didn't want to go out as Miss now exhausted, size fourteen, can't get into my nice clothes, trying to sort my life out just couldn't face it for the time being! I just asked for some time to get myself up and running but all she could do was get annoyed with me as things didn't just snap back to how they were before. She made me feel so bad in the end I just had to cut her loose..

Good news re the new friends, very happy for you! I'm not one for New Years resolutions but I have decided to make one this year and that is I'm going to try and just 'let go' a bit this year and embrace the new - whatever that may be! It's hard to let go of my best friend and a job I've done for 20 years but neither of them make me happy anymore so I've just go to take a deep breath and believe that everything will fall into place for me - just the way it should - fingers crossed!!!

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Thanks for the balanced update - always good to see a "rough with the smooth" account of life back in the UK. You can get the impression sometimes that a successful return to the UK necessitates being "happy happy happy" about everything. While some people do manage that (and I'm "happy happy happy" for them), life back in the UK isn't that straightforward for many.

I agree with your "Letting go" comment. Even now (7 years in) I'm still having to let go of things (I think I may be a bit OCD ;)). I'm going through a complete re-evaluation of things at the moment and realising that in order to move on I have to let go of the idea that certain things might change. Same thing as accepting things won't change, I suppose ... but it feels more like letting go of thinking that certain things could be different.

I've commented on the friends and family thing before, but your experience with your best friend just reiterates the fact that we should be careful about placing our happiness on assumptions about other people. Sally's points about making the effort to reconnect are important, and we do have to make the extra effort - but there comes a time when you have to realise that if others consistently won't make the effort, then maybe it says something about them, not you.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Heavens above! It's never been 7 months!

Happy New Year!

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

What an interesting update, thanks so much for sharing that.

Regarding the friendships, I've found that to be true on visits too. People are all excited when they know you're coming over then kind of hide when you finally get here. It does hurt.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Wow I remember us both talking about returning to the UK last year, how time flies.

I can understand how the friendship thing can hurt and I have had some experience of this as well with me always being the one to call or arrange outings, just keep plugging away.

Here's to a better 2014 for us all.

Back2Blighty

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Yes I totally agree with all you said - it's such a balancing act isn't it?!

Congratulations btw on winning the Nicest Poster award, you totally deserve it. I personally really appreciate the advice you gave me when I was stuck in Loony Town and yes, I voted for you, well done! :thumbsup:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Thanks very much, happy new year to you too! Yep feels like I never left which is just lovely :D

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

You're very welcome! Yes I've no idea why people are like that, all very bizarre isn't it? One of my friends, whom I really like and have known for years, hasn't called me for ages but she does have a child and does shift work so I try to give her some space. Hadn't heard from her in ages but she called today to wish me luck with the new job and said we should get together when I'm back for a night out.

I can't tell you what it meant to me, the fact that SHE called ME and wants to meet up, probably sounds silly but it really made me day! :starsmile:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Yep it sure does, I think back on that time and there were days when I though I'd never get there lol!

Yes it's been up and down, most days I am fine with it but some days I get the PLOM's ( Poor Lil Old Me!) I try to fix the things I can and deal with the rest as and when. It's easier now I have my family near by and the fact I feel so at home here in Blighty!

Speaking of which I've just applied for a qualification in Remote Medicine with the Royal College of Surgeons specifically designed for offshore/remote medics. I want to try and stay well away from frontline work as I can't bear it these days so fingers crossed I get accepted!

Hope things are going well for you too, I think 2014 is going to be a very good year ;)

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Hey MissB

didn't want to read and run.

you are a nice person, you deserve good friends who put in the same amount of effort.

keep up the effort with those old friends where you can see hope for your relationships........for the old friend who seems to want to start from where you guys left off here's my take.

shes middle aged desperate and wants to go out on the pull?!! shes the one stuck in the past. Theres an old saying, "keep on doing what you allways do, and you will keep on getting what you've allways got" .....which in her case is not a lot. Do you really want to be spending a night out trawling for men...when you could be making new friends and spending nights out bonding, sharing quality time, having a laugh....

Somewhere along the line if you keep the focus on the positives, dust down the self esteem and get your mojo back.....your new life will have new friends in it......and the old ones will be there, or not. But it aint your job to convince em! Sure make effort where theres hope....but don't waste precious time and effort when your getting nothing back...



BB:thumbsup:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Thanks for the reply, that really made me smile and what you said makes heaps of sense - why don't you live round the corner from me, we could be friends lol!

Yes I think it slowly dawned on me after I got home she wasn't happy because I was coming back, everyone else we know is married/has kids so in her mind it seems she was thinking yep, someone to go out on the pull with!!

Don't get me wrong I was happy to help her out, I helped her write a dating profile for a website and took some nice pics for her but I just got fed up of her turning down lunch/movies/coffee but badgering me to go out to clubs and bars. Now me, I like a drink and a boogie as much as the next bird but I because I enjoy the whole social aspect of getting dressed up and going out with my friends and having a giggle, not trawling for men - I'm too old for all that!!!!

It took a while for me to get a job and that was my main concern as well as making sure I had enough money to live on, the last thing I wanted to do was go out every weekend spending money I didn't have to spare on alcohol, taxis and nightclubs. I tried to tell her but she just kept saying "Oh I'll lend you the money" but my philosophy is if you aint got it don't spend it. Also as I said before, I was still settling back in and I couldn't just 'put it all behind me'. Moving overseas, whether to start a new life or return to your homeland, is a massive upheaval, you have to give yourself time to adjust and to process things after the initial euphoria dies down.

Anyways, new year, new job and hopefully some new friends too! There are still a few people I'm happy to make the effort with - baby steps hey?! :thumbsup:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Hi MissBetty,

Happy New Year!
I haven't been on here a while as I now have a job (yay me!) and been busy with Birthdays, Christmas, blah blah lol

Anyway, Glad you have settled and for the most part you are still very happy. Sorry to hear about your friend, but as you and many others here have said, she sounds like she just NEEDS a man right now and not a good friend.

I am lucky, I guess, as my friends have taken me back relatively easily. The friends who I have had forever are just always there. We could go months without seeing each other but I know I can just pick up the phone if I want to. I am not one for going out on a regular basis and am happy with my own company and just staying in with my family so I don't have a big dependence on my friends for my happiness. Although, of course, I do need them sometimes and am there for them also.

My 19 year old daughter had a similar circumstance to you though. She had known a girl since they were 7. Always stayed in touch and my daughter stayed with her when we came back from canada for visits. When we moved back, they were great at first, going out for drinks, meeting up with friends, having sleep overs, etc. Then all of a sudden this girl turned on my daughter and said she was taking all her friends away! It was really weird and my daughter had to just cut her off too. We think she just didn't adjust to my daughter being back here for good and was jealous that she was making friends with her own friends. (If that makes sense!) lol
Anyway, my daughter now has many friends through her job and seems to be quite happy.

It is really hard to maintain friendships and make new ones, and no-one can underestimate that. YOU have to make the effort as you're the one who left.

MissBetty, Don't let your weight put you off getting out there as it's whats underneath that counts and I can tell you are a genuinely nice caring person who likes to have fun. You deserve genuine friends who will understand and be there for you.

Take care :)

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

HNY to you too and congrats re the job that's brilliant! Sorry to hear re your daughter's friend, good though that she's making new ones at work who are probably much nicer anyways!

I'm quite happy with my own company but I do like to go out and socialise as well. I feel more like going out these days, not worrying about money anymore is a big plus but I'm happy just to pop round my friends houses to see them. When you don't have a partner it's your friends whom you turn to to go out for dinner/drinks/movies/coffee and when they are (like quite a few of mine) married, single mums and co-habiting they're not always available to go out, which is fair enough, so I do quite a few lunches these days lol!

The weight is starting to come off now and I'm starting my new job tomorrow so I'm confident I'll have more of a social life in a few months time. I'm still so much happier here than I was in Oz though so any good things that happen are just a bonus these days lol! :thumbsup:

Thanks for the kind words and happy things are going well for you and your family - it's so lovely to be home isn't it?!!!

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

I don't know whether they really hide or they just simply get on with their lives. As the returnee i think you have to be the one that has to make the effort to fit into their lives since they are established and have been for the years you have been away. On visits back my friends are all making an effort to see me but sometimes I'm the one that can't fit them all in. When I return I know I will be the one fitting in to their schedule.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Yes that's fair enough but as dunroving pointed out you have to get some sort of balance - of course as the returnee you have to make the most effort but it's nice to have it reciprocated at times!

One of my friends is a single mum who does shift work so I always go to hers as it's only fair but, interestingly enough, she is the only one in 7 months who has come down and spent the weekend with me.

Atm I'm still happy to keep going and seeing my friends and making the effort , I've never asked for or expected red carpet treatment but I just don't think it should ALL be one sided. Like I said I'm happy to be back and things are good but it interesting how things sometimes pan out once you are back compared to how you thought it would be! :starsmile:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

hunny, if I could I would move back to sussex in a heartbeat:thumbsup:

and yes, I could imagine us hooking up!! (as in mates not dates ha ha).

Its my aim to eventually get to Eastbourne (I dream high). Right now I'm stuck where I am as I work in a speciality that is in demand, but in specific areas. I like my N.H.S job, which I know you can understand is getting quite rare nowadays. If I do find myself visiting Brighton I may just pre warn you so you can pencil me in your diary :D

So fate will dictate if I'm stuck here for the next 10 years....or you never know maybe good fortune will enable me to make the move around the corner sooner :fingerscrossed:

BB

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Precisely how I feel, and a reason why I still don't feel settled. Despite my health problems, last year I visited my brother and his family in Warwickshire 4 times travellng on 24 trains taking 4 to 5 hours each way. However, although my brother and his wife constantly travel around England and Europe, they've said it is too far to visit me. :confused: They both drive, so 2 hours each would be very little. For goodness sake, I've visited them a number of times from Oz! I even bought new furniture for my second bedroom for visitors.

My sister would have visited me, but in June last year she unexpectedly died, a result of cancer.

I've also visited a friend in Germany four times in 18 months (costing about £6000) with promises of reciprocal visits before I left Oz, but as yet she hasn't come. We have a good friendship but a visit from her would be welcome. Admittedly in 2009 we visited England together for 12 days, but she had my travelling experience to rely on. I think if there was a train direct to London she would be more inclined to come, but Eurostar doesn't go to Frankfurt. I'm crossing my fingers for early summer, and have even offered to visit her and we can travel back here together.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

The thing is, had you gone out with her... as her wingwoman... she may well have ditched you anyway if a man came along.

No loss.

I'm glad to hear you are happier there. All the best. :)

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Maybe you can entice people to Torquay by standing them a meal or so at The Elephant ;). Are there other attractions in Torquay - apart from you - that others are not aware of?

It seems that (any) travel has become a rather selfish pursuit, a self indulgence and if it is not indulgent - typically scores points on the social travel league discussable around the dinner table - there are few takers.

Most certainly travel is very high on everybody's priority list in the UK these days, if only to escape the humdrum of the everyday routine and maybe get some warmth into those bones.

I've just booked my first trip anticipating my return in August, flying to Glasgow from Bristol on Easyjet in October to see family. While there at the very least I will take in a show and a trade fair and use an inexpensive hotel already bought.

This attractive overall package makes me feel inclined to do something similar again and again in spite of the travel distance involved but it just took a little research. Hopefully your relatives will see this when soon planning their trip to see you in Torquay.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Yeah sorry I've had kids for nearly 20 years now so forget what it's like to have a proper social life :lol: but I do get out every now and again and my old friends are great when I need a night out.

You are probably better off without that friend at the moment anyway, as at our time in life going out clubbing to meet men probably isn't a great idea. They are either far too young, total mingers, gay or have 20 kids and 5 wives somewhere ;):rofl:

Ha ha seriously though it seems everything else is going pretty well so I really hope you can meet some new people and have a great life here.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Hi Miss Betty, thanks for your post. It was very helpful to me. I have lived in Alabama for two years and want to return to the UK in a few years with my husband. It would be sooner but we need to save up. My main reason for wanting to move is family. My dad's long term friend died in December from cancer and I believe it ignited the feeling in me that if I don't return home to be with family i'll regret it. My husband isn't close to his family here so he seems accepting of the move. And as it won't be for another 2-3 years it's giving him time to get used to it. I am sorry that your friend was not more understanding for you. I do not expect my friends to come running to see me if I move back to England. Thank you again for your post.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

My relatives don't plan to visit me, it is my friend in Germany, possibly in June.

My brother and his wife have booked a holiday in Tenerife staying here soon . . . http://www.hotelbotanico.com My flat in Torquay can't compete with the lure of sunshine and 5-star accommodation, not even the promise of a meal at The Elephant near the harbour.

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Hi and you're welcome! There's nothing worse than being somewhere you don't want to be, where you feel like you just don't fit in and you miss your family so much. I'm fine with being alone but when I was in Oz I wasn't just alone I was lonely and it was miserable.

Still on a brighter note I'm nearly at the end of my first stint as a ship's medic! Finally have a regular contract and will get my first pay packet in 11 days! I'm currently curled up in my cabin reading a book and we are crew changing in Muscat in a few days time, will spend a day there so very excited!

Someone said to me today, oh you are always so happy, messing around and laughing, he said oh I'd love a job like yours and I said well thanks but trust me, a year ago I was in a very bad place. If I was to take one positive thing away from it all then it would be that I now appreciate what I actually have - my family, my friends, my cosy little flat and a job I am learning to love again. Now and again I think about the past and a feel a bit sad but then I just shake it off, as Churchill said 'If you are going through hell - keep going!'

Good luck with your move home :thumbsup:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Lol! You make me laugh and yes, if you are ever back down this way I think lunch at 'Browns' with a nice cold bottle of vino is definitely on the cards for us! :starsmile:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Thanks mate, yeah I'm getting on ok here on the ship and making friends so things are looking up! :thumbsup:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

I roared with laughter at that clubbing comment cos it's so true lol lol! At our age it's just a no no, I can't put myself through that in my 40's!!!!

Yes things are better now I'm back at work full time, I'm not stuck at home brooding about stuff and I'm meeting new and interesting people plus getting to travel. Looking forward to getting home next week with my first proper pay packet in months. Going up to Covent Garden for the day with my sister, lined up a couple of lunch dates with various friends and I've been invited to a wedding reception too - I'm getting there!!!!! ;)

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Hi Miss Betty, just to say Hi and I love reading your posts, they are so honest, and full of wonderful British humour, I so miss that.

As I was reading about your 'friend' of 30 years it struck me that you have been through 2 life changing events in the past few years, depression, I know what that's like, it's crap ain't it? and emigrating. I think both of these things change us, we kinda 'come home to ourselves' through both of these experiences because we have to dig so deeply within to get through.

A lot of people from our past lives are still living in the same place, still doing the things they've always done and just haven't had our wealth of life experience, and sometimes they just expect that we'll slot into 'their' lives but we can't, and won't, because we have changed, for the better, IMHO. You gave her the respect of honestly explaining why you didn't want to go out 'trawling', you gave her alternatives and she acted the way she did. That's just hurtful to you. There's a great Irish saying, "pog mo hon", or "pog mo thoin", same thing, for people like this 'friend'.

Love your posts, if ever you're in NZ, pop by and we'll have a bottle or 2, and laugh 'til it hurts. Fair travels Miss Betty. :):drinkingwine:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

Hello and thank you, I do try to be honest about life back home as I know I read a lot of other people's posts before making the big decision!

It was the best thing for me but I always like to state both the good and the bad stuff as I realise everyone feels differently. I don't have kids and I had a house to come back to so that made things easier for me as I didn't have to think about anyone else.

I love that saying, my Dad is Irish so I know exactly what it means lol lol! :rofl:

Yes depression is an awful thing, I thought by being honest she would have been more understanding, especially as she went through a really bad patch a few years ago (close friend died) and I was there for her.. She has just become so blinkered with this 'finding a man' business it's like she just can't be happy living in the present and enjoying what life has to offer. I've just booked onto a sailing holiday in the Greek Islands, I'm going alone but there will be other solo travellers so I'm just going to jump right in and hopefully make some amazing new friends - I can't keep going on holiday alone!!!!

Well if ever we dock in NZ I'll give you a shout to crack those bottles open! Cheers! :thumbsup:

Re: Back 7 months now - the good, the bad and the honest!
 

I fear that too, my friends are so excited for me to go back, but I know the novelty will ware off.... ps/ did you have to wait 3mths before being allowed to apply for help from the government if you don't have a job to go straight into?