Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Moving back or to the UK > Back Home
Reload this Page >

Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Old May 29th 2013, 8:08 pm
  #151  
Finally Home!
Thread Starter
 
sallysimmons's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Used to be New York, now North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,610
sallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by cheers
Sally I know how far the local pub is but how far is the bakery? Do you go to the local or do you drive to another nearby pub?
Our local is a mile and half if we walk by the road or about half a mile if we go over the fields (not always practical unless we go in wellies and the landlord makes us take those off, so you have to sit in bare socks!). The local is OK, but very few locals actually go in it - they all say they don't like the landlord. He's been nice enough to us, but we're new so I'm sure there's time to find out the whole story!

There are lots of lovely pubs in the surrounding villages and we're exploring them one by one - some of them have a lovely community spirit, which is what ours lacks sadly. We've also had some nice drinks up in the Dales, which takes about 15 minutes to get into but you can go as far as two and a half hours to get right to the top.

There's no bakery in our village - not even a shop or a post office. There are only 500 people here, so we couldn't support it. The nearest bakeries are in Skipton which is about 4 miles away. There are tons of them which is why I have to do all this walking

I will say that the people in the village have been lovely to us and especially our close neighbours. I feel much safer here than I did in the last house when my husband goes away, just because the neighbours are right there and all know us. One is a doctor which could come in handy and another is a builder and handyman who is doing all the jobs we can't do.
sallysimmons is offline  
Old May 29th 2013, 8:13 pm
  #152  
Finally Home!
Thread Starter
 
sallysimmons's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Used to be New York, now North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,610
sallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by J.JsOH

Anyway, my news is that I sense a general improvement in my mood of late. It has been up and down since coming back nearly 3 yrs ago. The problems no longer seem to jar on me as much as they did and I can tune out those that still do.
This really makes me happy!

I planned to not post here as much and then the last few days I've been procrastinating on a work project and reading here to pass the time. What do I find but that windsong has found her long-lost love and you are feeling a little better in yourself. Brilliant!

I'm going to bed glad that I checked in and with a smile on my face.

btw - the one other thing I wanted to say before but forgot is this: sometimes it's easy to assume that a person who isn't struggling with our particular problems doesn't have any problems at all. But it's important to remember that we all have our challenges. I live with incurable (or at least undiagnosed) chronic pain. I've learned to deal with it, but sometimes I feel such envy for those who walk around without a struggle and who wake up in the morning feeling rested instead of racked with pain. Not complaining, just saying we all have our burdens.

Last edited by sallysimmons; May 29th 2013 at 8:45 pm.
sallysimmons is offline  
Old May 29th 2013, 9:26 pm
  #153  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Aug 2010
Location: US
Posts: 4,224
cheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond reputecheers has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by sallysimmons
This really makes me happy!

I planned to not post here as much and then the last few days I've been procrastinating on a work project and reading here to pass the time. What do I find but that windsong has found her long-lost love and you are feeling a little better in yourself. Brilliant!

I'm going to bed glad that I checked in and with a smile on my face.

btw - the one other thing I wanted to say before but forgot is this: sometimes it's easy to assume that a person who isn't struggling with our particular problems doesn't have any problems at all. But it's important to remember that we all have our challenges. I live with incurable (or at least undiagnosed) chronic pain. I've learned to deal with it, but sometimes I feel such envy for those who walk around without a struggle and who wake up in the morning feeling rested instead of racked with pain. Not complaining, just saying we all have our burdens.
I was in the supermarket this afternoon and who should I see but 'you' or your spitting image. You had a different accent or it seemed like it?
cheers is offline  
Old May 29th 2013, 9:34 pm
  #154  
BE Forum Addict
 
islandwoman120's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,139
islandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by cheers
I think Islandwoman is an inspiration. I seem to remember she was so depressed when she arrived and various things went wrong for her but little by little she got things sorted and seems to be on top of the pile theses days.

Cheers

Cheers
Nice of you to write that, Cheers. Yes, it was a very bumpy start here back in September 2010 - and the next 18 months were also hard, though I made friends and settled into life in Frome. But the noise, drunks and anti-social behaviour in the town centre where I lived chased me away to quiet, somewhat boring, Dawlish. I have been here a year now, and am starting to explore the local area - Exeter is 12 miles away - lovely city. I use my bus pass frequently, and now that I have a Senior Rail card, I also use the train.

It can be done, but I had to accept that this somewhat expensive, and Europeanised country has moved on from the England I left in 1986. There are too many cars on the narrow roads, petrol and car expenses are high; public transport is good (probably depends where you live), the bus is free if you are a Senior citizen, the train can be very expensive until you learn to play the game of booking advance tickets and even splitting your journey (if you are on a long haul journey and do some creative planning, you can often get deals by splitting your tickets into sections e.g. Dawlish to Exeter, Exeter to Bath etc. - same train, segmented tickets). And joy of joys (for me at any rate) - though it takes 3 hours to get to St. Ives in Cornwall, a day return from Dawlish is only £11.20. I can get to London on the train for £14.85 each way by booking ahead. So though income is restricted, I can still do what I want to do, just be being creative and proactive.

My experiences with the NHS have varied by region and medical clinic, but most of the doctors I have met have been easy to deal with. I had to visit a local hospital recently and found that fine also. Some places look run down and depressed, some high streets have boarded up shop fronts. And I still get annoyed by litter in the streets and fag ends on the ground. I got annoyed by that in the US too - only there I was in a car and did not notice it so much, whereas here I am on 'Shanks' Pony' and notice a lot more.

My little section of Devon has a older population which makes for a more staid daily existence, and I have, at times, been tearing out my hair with boredom and the need to interact with 'artsy' people and 'university types' also. Now that I am venturing out and about a lot more, I am interacting with more compatible people and hopefully this will get under control! My recent visit to the Devon County Show put me in touch with a group of like minded textile people and I will be meeting with them as a group in two weeks time - hopefully that will be a set of good connections, and I know there are a few from Dawlish in the group.

islandwoman120 is offline  
Old May 30th 2013, 2:02 am
  #155  
BE Forum Addict
 
Perth's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Back in the UK!
Posts: 2,404
Perth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond reputePerth has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by J.JsOH
Anyway, my news is that I sense a general improvement in my mood of late. It has been up and down since coming back nearly 3 yrs ago. The problems no longer seem to jar on me as much as they did and I can tune out those that still do.
This is such good news, John! I suppose it proves that with time things can turn around.
Perth is offline  
Old May 30th 2013, 2:37 am
  #156  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,100
windsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by J.JsOH
Just to add my ha'pence worth on the theme of posts and how I view the information that people provide.
I primarily come here to share information. In the beginning it was to glean info prior to moving and then just after also. More lately it is just to check in to say how things are with me in case this may help others, occasionally still pick up tips on life in UK, and to see how things are with other posters that I've known for a while now.

People often, usually, have different opinions than I do, that's fine. Happens a lot with me being an introvert because I generally don't fit in with the popular held opinions. And then it happens a lot here on BE too because we all are coming from different world experiences.
With brief written posts there is always the chance to misinterpret peoples intent or tone and so I try to take care not to get my back up about anything that is said cos most posters are here for genuine reasons.

Just sayin'.

Anyway, my news is that I sense a general improvement in my mood of late. It has been up and down since coming back nearly 3 yrs ago. The problems no longer seem to jar on me as much as they did and I can tune out those that still do.
It had always been in our life plan to return to UK eventually although never in a set time frame. Since coming back we talked of ping-ponging but it was never a potential reality.
Initially pleased to be back I was then troubled and disappointed with the society around me. Along with many other Brits there are many things about life in England that leave me puzzled and probably always will.
But still, if I can keep the Serenity Prayer in mind (accept things I can't change, courage to change the things I can, wisdom to know the difference) then I get along pretty well in UK.

I will always consider the USA favourably for the opportunities it offered me in life there, I am better for it, I am pleased I lived there and it will always be my adopted country second only to my (military-induced) patriotism for UK.

(insight for those that don't know me; 60's something couple, no kids (to speak of), 1 pet cat, own down-sized house, frugal lifestyle, long-term savers now retired (me Engineer, OH clerical), fit & active lifestyle, love traveling, small car owner (OH doesn't drive), prefer countryside but accept living in suburbs as compromise for access to public transport, not close knit UK family, few but lifelong friends...oh, and I like real ale and fish&chips)
So glad you are feeling much better about things now, John. I think you have persevered and are finally coming out of the gloom that hit you now and then.

Personally, I think I will go through some of this when I return. So many changes will be taking place in my life at the same time. It's sort of like a chaos, albeit a pleasant one, that has to subside eventually. When it does, I think I will hit bottom. Maybe not, but I think so. Absolutely everything in my life will be new to me - welcomed, yes, but still new.

I think I might already be experiencing some of it as I now realize that everything that surrounds me this evening - furniture, familiar surroundings, etc. - won't be there in seven months' time. They will be gone forever. Even when the change is desired, it's still difficult to part with the furnishings that have accompanied you through life for 15 years or more - and this is just the beginning
windsong is offline  
Old May 30th 2013, 5:46 am
  #157  
Concierge
 
mikelincs's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2006
Location: ex ex-pat, in Taunton
Posts: 27,146
mikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond reputemikelincs has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by London1947
Yep $1400 per month. That translates into GBP 850 approx. subtract 600 rent, 114 council tax, food 100 yes, so i suppose $1400 should go a long way.
But with that income level, surely you qualify for rent rebate, council tax rebate, if you haven't yet applied, then I strongly suggest you do.
mikelincs is offline  
Old May 30th 2013, 1:19 pm
  #158  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 315
pondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to allpondhopper2014 is a name known to all
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Despite the tension in the middle of this thread, I'm glad I read it. I wanted to say thank you to all who posted... it gave me food for thought on how our perceptions affect our happiness. We live in Canada, it's great here (yes, there's garbage stuff too - things are so big that bussing between cities when ya live in the boonies can be non-existent, there is a lot of welfare/crime/drug and alcohol abuse, political trash, etc... but overall, I love being Canadian. My happiness doesn't depend on the prime minister, the neighbours, or how much stuff I can jam into my house (okay, maybe with the exception of books). It comes from my husband, my children, meals around the dining room table, walks (even in the rain), my pets, and so much more. We're planning a move to the UK in the autumn of 2014, and though I know it's not going to be all rainbows and unicorns, I think if I am grounded properly and try to see the cup-half-full side of life, I think it'll be a great move. I'm looking forward to fish'n'chips with mushy peas once a week (family treat), long walks in the amazing countryside, being able to visit my Husband's centenarian grandmother, visiting historical sites, and so much more. I guess in any place you live, you have to make the effort to see the blessings and toss out whatever brings you down. You've all just reminded me that all this panic about getting it all done isn't where I need to focus. Yes, I need to plan and be prepared, but I also need to take the time to enjoy those wonderful things that are Canadian while I have them... like poutine, watermelon (Sally, I'm pouring over your blog, I'm doing one too... but it was a great comfort to read about those two days you lost back at 559-557 before moving... that's how I feel right now! LOL!), visiting all the family and friends I can pack in as often as I can pack them in, and so much more. Thanks for the reminder, and I look forward to being actively part of this forum!
Be blessed, all of you!
pondhopper2014 is offline  
Old May 31st 2013, 1:22 pm
  #159  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 603
NiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond reputeNiHao has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

SallySimmons, thank you so much for your kind words, I'm sure I don't deserve them but way to give a girl an inflated ego

J.JsOH and Islandwoman120, I'm so glad things are feeling brighter for both of you, I have related to a lot of the things you have posted since being back in the UK and appreciate hearing your POVs.
NiHao is offline  
Old May 31st 2013, 2:12 pm
  #160  
BE Forum Addict
 
islandwoman120's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,139
islandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond reputeislandwoman120 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by NiHao
SallySimmons, thank you so much for your kind words, I'm sure I don't deserve them but way to give a girl an inflated ego

J.JsOH and Islandwoman120, I'm so glad things are feeling brighter for both of you, I have related to a lot of the things you have posted since being back in the UK and appreciate hearing your POVs.
Thanks. I am glad that you can glean interesting and relevant things form my postings - it sure has been an interesting (almost) 3 years back here.
islandwoman120 is offline  
Old May 31st 2013, 6:01 pm
  #161  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,100
windsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond reputewindsong has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Originally Posted by islandwoman120
Thanks. I am glad that you can glean interesting and relevant things form my postings - it sure has been an interesting (almost) 3 years back here.
Islandwoman, I believe you were away from the UK for many years, too. Did you find many things had changed when you went back and did you find it a huge adjustment, albeit one you were willing to weather?
windsong is offline  
Old Jul 14th 2013, 6:47 am
  #162  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 50
Lestergirl will become famous soon enoughLestergirl will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Hi Sally ( charleygirl here) I just read your blog to catch up on how you are getting on.. love the blog, love the view from your skylight!!
Lestergirl is offline  
Old Jul 15th 2013, 6:39 am
  #163  
Finally Home!
Thread Starter
 
sallysimmons's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Used to be New York, now North Yorkshire
Posts: 3,610
sallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond reputesallysimmons has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Hi charleygirl - how are you? Where are you?

You've been missed!

I saw in another thread about your mum - I'm so sorry to hear that. But at least you got to spend some time with her and that must be a comfort.

Would love to hear your news.
sallysimmons is offline  
Old Jul 15th 2013, 7:56 am
  #164  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 50
Lestergirl will become famous soon enoughLestergirl will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Hi Sally, still here in Leicester and doing okay, everything is fine here I love being home... but the heartache of my children not being here is just too great!
I did update in the over 40s thread.
I have some huge decisions to make very soon about my future.. basically bottom line, I want to stay here but I dont think I can stand a lifetime away from my children..they are missing me and I know in the future we will not be able to fly back and forth to see each other. I am 62 this Nov. and I know it will get harder for me to find work back there in the USA if I leave it much longer. I have a great job here, I work with children for 20 hours a week, I get my first state pension on Aug 2.. got a bus pass.. rent a nice bungalow and have a lovely garden full of veggies and flowers, I have a little renault car and life is good, but my heart is heavy and it wont go away. My son is 22 and half and my girls will be 21 in Aug. It has been very tough for them and since my mum passed away.. they thought I would just go back.. so it has been hard for them to understand too.
Anyway I will keep everyone posted ..
I am so glad everything is going well for you and hubby.. you are in a beautiful part of the world, I very rarely go into the City of Leicester now, it is a city I once loved so much and got a buzz from going in, but not anymore, way too crowded and dirty now but the countryside around here is fantastic and I marvel at it every time I go out for a drive out there.
Lestergirl is offline  
Old Jul 15th 2013, 1:11 pm
  #165  
BE Enthusiast
 
morayeel's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 360
morayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond reputemorayeel has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Back 3 Months After 22 Years Away

Charleygirl that is so difficult being separated from your children. I wish you all the best.
morayeel is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.