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3 1/3 years back and hating it!

3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Old Nov 20th 2017, 10:45 am
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Default 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

I've been back in the UK for 3 and 1/2 years, after 18 years in the US, and I'm now at the point where I hate it! Like most people I had the honeymoon period where things seemed positive and I was happy to be here but that faded very fast. I've struggled to find steady employment and financially things aren't great and other than my family I really don't have anyone to spend time with. Everyday now I feel that I made the wrong decision to move back and I'm beating myself up as I threw away a good life in the US. I worked hard in the US to create a good life and no matter what I try I just can't create that kind of life here in the UK. I want to move back to the US but I no longer have a greencard due to being away too long and financially I can't afford it right now. I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to find a way to move back. It will break my parents heart but I am so unhappy here and despite things not being perfect when I was in the US, I know now its a better place for me!
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Old Nov 23rd 2017, 12:00 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by lgabriel73
I've been back in the UK for 3 and 1/2 years, after 18 years in the US, and I'm now at the point where I hate it! Like most people I had the honeymoon period where things seemed positive and I was happy to be here but that faded very fast. I've struggled to find steady employment and financially things aren't great and other than my family I really don't have anyone to spend time with. Everyday now I feel that I made the wrong decision to move back and I'm beating myself up as I threw away a good life in the US. I worked hard in the US to create a good life and no matter what I try I just can't create that kind of life here in the UK. I want to move back to the US but I no longer have a greencard due to being away too long and financially I can't afford it right now. I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to find a way to move back. It will break my parents heart but I am so unhappy here and despite things not being perfect when I was in the US, I know now its a better place for me!

Sorry to hear your not liking it after 3 years, i had been in Canada for 12 years and decided to return back to the UK in 2014 ( so about the same time as you), i lasted 4 months. I just couldn't get a decent job, i lived with my Dad in Essex ( the bad part) and found it really depressing, I'm from Newcastle originally and didnt find the south east to be that great, i only chose essex because its close to London and thought it would be easier to get work, i kept on getting told i had great experience but needed more UK Experience and would have to start from entry level which i wasn't prepared to do.... so i decided to return to Canada, it wasn't easy leaving again as i really got attached to my family a BUT as soon as i got back to Canada i had job interviews and was offered 4 jobs! things are great here now but i do still miss my family and really think that one day when i have enough money to buy a house outright that ill move back to the UK, so if you are trying to move back just think long and hard about it, your never going to have american life in the UK because it isn't the USA but you could have a good one... where abouts in the UK are you living ?
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Old Nov 23rd 2017, 9:21 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by lgabriel73
I've been back in the UK for 3 and 1/2 years, after 18 years in the US, and I'm now at the point where I hate it! Like most people I had the honeymoon period where things seemed positive and I was happy to be here but that faded very fast. I've struggled to find steady employment and financially things aren't great and other than my family I really don't have anyone to spend time with. Everyday now I feel that I made the wrong decision to move back and I'm beating myself up as I threw away a good life in the US. I worked hard in the US to create a good life and no matter what I try I just can't create that kind of life here in the UK. I want to move back to the US but I no longer have a greencard due to being away too long and financially I can't afford it right now. I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to find a way to move back. It will break my parents heart but I am so unhappy here and despite things not being perfect when I was in the US, I know now its a better place for me!
I don't know where you are in the UK but surely there must be other places where you might have better employment opportunities inc. the financial benefit. Even if you move away from that specific area, you are still closer to family than before. What about meeting people (sports/community)? It depends what you mean by good life in the US but don't forget that steady employment can end any day (especially in the US). You came back and left for reason, so rather looking at what you had, focus on what you can gain. Things will then come automatically and new doors will open.
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Old Nov 23rd 2017, 4:35 pm
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by celine_uk
Sorry to hear your not liking it after 3 years, i had been in Canada for 12 years and decided to return back to the UK in 2014 ( so about the same time as you), i lasted 4 months. I just couldn't get a decent job, i lived with my Dad in Essex ( the bad part) and found it really depressing, I'm from Newcastle originally and didnt find the south east to be that great, i only chose essex because its close to London and thought it would be easier to get work, i kept on getting told i had great experience but needed more UK Experience and would have to start from entry level which i wasn't prepared to do.... so i decided to return to Canada, it wasn't easy leaving again as i really got attached to my family a BUT as soon as i got back to Canada i had job interviews and was offered 4 jobs! things are great here now but i do still miss my family and really think that one day when i have enough money to buy a house outright that ill move back to the UK, so if you are trying to move back just think long and hard about it, your never going to have american life in the UK because it isn't the USA but you could have a good one... where abouts in the UK are you living ?
I'm in West Yorkshire, a small town just outside Leeds. I think I spent so long in the US (18 years) that I'm really more American than English, i just didn't realise it until I moved back. If I do move back to the US it won't be yet as my dog is 11 and has a breathing condition so she can't fly, so I've got time to think about things carefully and plan.
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Old Nov 25th 2017, 7:09 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Sorry to hear that you are so unhappy. A point that jumps out here from your thread is it seems you want to still be "American" and are comparing apples with pears! As others have said perhaps try forget what you had before and try look to positives here. I personally would also look for work nationwide in your chosen field. Perhaps another area will give you what you are searching for. Take it step by step. Even if you find work in SE England, with transport links you will be much closer to family. For anyone reading this thread, here is a perfect example why you need to get citizenship wherever you are before you think of moving home.
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Old Nov 25th 2017, 9:13 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by feelbritish
Sorry to hear that you are so unhappy. A point that ju
mps out here from your thread is it seems you want to still be "American" and are comparing apples with pears! As others have said perhaps try forget what you had before and try look to positives here. I personally would also look for work nationwide in your chosen field. Perhaps another area will give you what you are searching for. Take it step by step. Even if you find work in SE England, with transport links you will be much closer to family. For anyone reading this thread, here is a perfect example why you need to get citizenship wherever you are before you think of moving home.
It's not about wanting to be American, it's more that after spending my whole adult life in the US I am probably more Americanised than I realised. I have spent the last 3 1/2 years looking for the positives etc but the longer I am here the more I miss my life in the US.
Location is not the issue when trying to find work. UK employers don't care about transferable skills, they care about industry and job specific qualifications. I worked in the US as a senior manager and have so many transferable skills but because I don't have a level 2, blah, blah, blah, I'm not qualified for many roles even though I could do them blindfolded. I have tried to get lower level positions just to get my foot in the door, but as soon as they see my director level positions on my CV they say I'm over qualified. The only work I have been able to find is temp admin work but that has been sporadic.

The fact of the matter is that I have tried to make the UK my home, but it's just not working and that's because my heart is not here. I will eventually try to get back to the US when the time is right, and if it's meant to be it will be!
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Old Nov 26th 2017, 9:27 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Then I guess when it is not right, it is not right. Wishing you all the best with your plans and journey back. The UK is not for everyone and lots of expats "ping pong". Unfortunately one of the scourges of being an expat is that you have knowledge of many places and each one has something you need.
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Old Nov 26th 2017, 12:11 pm
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by lgabriel73
... I am probably more Americanised than I realised.
I have to disagree here; you used 's' and not 'z'.



Originally Posted by feelbritish
Then I guess when it is not right, it is not right.
Can't argue with that.

Originally Posted by feelbritish
The UK is not for everyone ...
Nor that.

Originally Posted by feelbritish
...Unfortunately one of the scourges of being an expat is that you have knowledge of many places and each one has something you need.
Why on earth could that be seen as a scourge? Surely the whole 'foreign experience' thing enriches us?

Originally Posted by lgabriel73
... The fact of the matter is that I have tried to make the UK my home, but it's just not working and that's because my heart is not here. I will eventually try to get back to the US when the time is right, and if it's meant to be it will be!
A brave call, and I wish you all the best.

End of day, you know where you'll feel better and also where you don't.

Keep us posted please?
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Old Nov 26th 2017, 7:46 pm
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

So sorry to hear things haven't worked out. It's so hard to make the move and then for it to disappoint is really hard. You definitely aren't alone in finding that the UK isn't for you anymore.

Regarding job applications why not change the title of the jobs you have had and leave out some of the responsibilities and experience those jobs involved, so they don't make you sound so over qualified for the jobs you are applying for? I know it goes against the norm to downplay experience but potential employers only know what you choose to tell them about your experience and if yours is making them think you will be bored/over qualified then leave some stuff out and you can always wow them once you are in the job and hopefully quickly be promoted.

If there are UK specific qualifications that your industry looks for is there anyway you could study for them while working? Evening classes, online class, company sponsored etc.? If you already hold the US versions or have the practical experience you may find that you already know the course work so you are able to do a fast intensive/fast track course and quickly sit the exams?

Good luck and please do keep updating us.
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Old Nov 27th 2017, 12:11 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by lgabriel73
It's not about wanting to be American, it's more that after spending my whole adult life in the US I am probably more Americanised than I realised. I have spent the last 3 1/2 years looking for the positives etc but the longer I am here the more I miss my life in the US.
Location is not the issue when trying to find work. UK employers don't care about transferable skills, they care about industry and job specific qualifications. I worked in the US as a senior manager and have so many transferable skills but because I don't have a level 2, blah, blah, blah, I'm not qualified for many roles even though I could do them blindfolded. I have tried to get lower level positions just to get my foot in the door, but as soon as they see my director level positions on my CV they say I'm over qualified. The only work I have been able to find is temp admin work but that has been sporadic.

The fact of the matter is that I have tried to make the UK my home, but it's just not working and that's because my heart is not here. I will eventually try to get back to the US when the time is right, and if it's meant to be it will be!
If you don't feel you fit then, then you don't. However, the transferable skill thing is also definitely a problem in the US. I expect it just depends on luck, and what you work in, rather than country. I want to return after a long, long time in the US, and am doing my best to cultivate connections and employmnet opps before making the jump. In the end, if I can do it, I will go where the work is rather than picking a place and then looking for work. After living in the US, the UK is a very manageable size and no one place really seems very far away from any other place, so I'm not fussed as to location.

You might start to feel better if you manage to get a good job there.
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Old Nov 27th 2017, 12:41 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by lgabriel73
I've been back in the UK for 3 and 1/2 years, after 18 years in the US, and I'm now at the point where I hate it! Like most people I had the honeymoon period where things seemed positive and I was happy to be here but that faded very fast. I've struggled to find steady employment and financially things aren't great and other than my family I really don't have anyone to spend time with. Everyday now I feel that I made the wrong decision to move back and I'm beating myself up as I threw away a good life in the US. I worked hard in the US to create a good life and no matter what I try I just can't create that kind of life here in the UK. I want to move back to the US but I no longer have a greencard due to being away too long and financially I can't afford it right now. I'm hoping that eventually I will be able to find a way to move back. It will break my parents heart but I am so unhappy here and despite things not being perfect when I was in the US, I know now its a better place for me!
Sorry to hear about your situation, and I wish you the best for an early return to the US. Having spent almost all your working life in the US, I have no doubt that you are correct, you are more Americanised than you originally thought.

Unfortunately you are also a poster child for the advice often given here: if you have a green card, at least stay long enough in the US to trade up for citizenship, to give yourself the freedom to go back if you ever want to.
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Old Nov 30th 2017, 8:14 pm
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Originally Posted by lgabriel73
It's not about wanting to be American, it's more that after spending my whole adult life in the US I am probably more Americanised than I realised.

Obtaining citizenship is the US where one has lived for 18 years is not to do with becoming " American". It's to do with becoming a citizen and, hopefully, participating in civic responsibilities .... and being able to come and go as one pleases.
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Old Dec 28th 2017, 6:54 pm
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

Nowhere suits everyone, I couldn't imagine leaving the UK now but I accept it's not for everyone. I could no more live in the US than fly but it suits some people. There must have been something powerful that drew you back here ? Have you thought about moving within England ? Somewhere with better and job opportu cities and dare I say it better weather.
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Old Dec 31st 2017, 4:49 am
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Default Re: 3 1/3 years back and hating it!

The UK is a place of great diversity. Even that little part of the UK to the South of me, England, has huge differences from North to South and East to West.
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