Originally Posted by dunroving

Setting that issue aside for a second, £150k should buy a nice 3-BR house (maybe not a detached or semi in many places, but certainly in some) in lots of areas of the UK (there are two for sale just down the road from me).

Originally Posted by TheEmperorIsNaked

Why? Irrespective of the fact that this poster is the last person I would communicate with on a more personal level; why does this have to be hidden away?

Why do MBTTUK posters have to run the gamut of this? They did not have to before, they had the support from moderators----(and they had your support too dunroving).

I'm not surprised SS does not want to buy into this on her topic, because it is petty and plain distasteful.
What is so annoying is that then posters like Sally have to qualify their return experience with a disclaimer so that they are not subject to more criticism-and end up having to defend themselves! On their own topic FGS!

It is absurd; it should not be happening; and it could have been discouraged. YOU didn't like it back then!
Posts by whofan and Sally have been informative, newsy and so interesting to read! However, one of these posters has been routinely criticised because someone decides that she is living in a rich persons haven!
The end result? That careful way of posting so as not to offend thoroughly offensive pedantic little twerps who actually have a designated area to spew their guts!

Bickering? Can't you see what I'm saying? Bickering is a bloody insult. You-many others and the mods, simply didn't put up with this 6 years ago-and guess what? It was far less of a problem then it is now.

I've done nothing more than say enough is enough. 6 years ago there would have been vocal support, now nobody wants to what? get into trouble with the mods? What?
This appalling fence sitting is exacerbating this. Petty criticisms are not all day-every day, but are enduring. Why can't they just FO to their own home from home?

MBTTUK: should be a place for returnees to post without having to defend themselves. BE was remarkable 'back in the day' because frankly criticism by posters of Australia in particular, was biting! Yet they freely posted! Amazing! They were not only able to talk about return; they were able to be thoroughly vocal about their reasons.

Strewth! one forum has given the option of a private forum, because of the sniping! It's like some dark ages hiding of pregnancy! Ludicrous!....but it acknowledges that sniping...

And the bizarre thing is that I will now be told where I am wrong!
So much easier to deal with effect rather than cause, isn't it?


EDIT: New post: I can't ID from this page. A mod?

I am objecting to pointless remarks and drivel! Don't make me part of it.

Originally Posted by TheEmperorIsNaked

Why? Irrespective of the fact that this poster is the last person I would communicate with on a more personal level; why does this have to be hidden away?

Why do MBTTUK posters have to run the gamut of this? They did not have to before, they had the support from moderators----(and they had your support too dunroving).

I'm not surprised SS does not want to buy into this on her topic, because it is petty and plain distasteful.
What is so annoying is that then posters like Sally have to qualify their return experience with a disclaimer so that they are not subject to more criticism-and end up having to defend themselves! On their own topic FGS!

It is absurd; it should not be happening; and it could have been discouraged. YOU didn't like it back then!
Posts by whofan and Sally have been informative, newsy and so interesting to read! However, one of these posters has been routinely criticised because someone decides that she is living in a rich persons haven!
The end result? That careful way of posting so as not to offend thoroughly offensive pedantic little twerps who actually have a designated area to spew their guts!

Bickering? Can't you see what I'm saying? Bickering is a bloody insult. You-many others and the mods, simply didn't put up with this 6 years ago-and guess what? It was far less of a problem then it is now.

I've done nothing more than say enough is enough. 6 years ago there would have been vocal support, now nobody wants to what? get into trouble with the mods? What?
This appalling fence sitting is exacerbating this. Petty criticisms are not all day-every day, but are enduring. Why can't they just FO to their own home from home?

MBTTUK: should be a place for returnees to post without having to defend themselves. BE was remarkable 'back in the day' because frankly criticism by posters of Australia in particular, was biting! Yet they freely posted! Amazing! They were not only able to talk about return; they were able to be thoroughly vocal about their reasons.

Strewth! one forum has given the option of a private forum, because of the sniping! It's like some dark ages hiding of pregnancy! Ludicrous!....but it acknowledges that sniping...

And the bizarre thing is that I will now be told where I am wrong!
So much easier to deal with effect rather than cause, isn't it?


EDIT: New post: I can't ID from this page. A mod?

I am objecting to pointless remarks and drivel! Don't make me part of it.

Originally Posted by Zen10

I agree with the main content of your post, but will add that the difficulty some of us face is that we come from much more expensive parts of the UK. People might think that means we have more money, but of course it doesn't because up until recently "more expensive" meant something different than it does today. My family come from West London and the Home Counties for the main, where until recently it was still possible for people on normal wages to buy somewhere to live. Now it is not, and so an entire generation is left without a home, while their elders are all sitting pretty. If we want to live with family, then we must rent. The other option is to move to Northumbria or somewhere were it will take many hours to make a visit. It's very frustrating.

For the money you're talking about I might be able to get a one bedroom flat with no land in the places where my family comes from. 3 bed semis start around £330,000.

Originally Posted by dunroving

Exactly - I'm learning that if I want my own particular piece of heaven, it involves compromise - so either a 3-BR in Northumberland, or a 1-BR in London, but not a 3-BR in London.

It's taken me a while but I'm starting to learn that if I can't change a situation I have to change my attitude towards it - any other way brings madness. I stamped my feet and threw my toys out of the pram for quite a while in frustration at my situation but I've found that whining about my situation (to myself mainly) didn't solve anything.

I still feel like I have a lot to whine about - the cause of the current financial situation did not involve me, and when the plates fell to the ground I ended up on the wrong side of the fence, unlike some - and the love-hate UK thing is still there at times, but things are what they are. the solution to finding some sort of happiness lies in compromise.

Originally Posted by dunroving

Exactly - I'm learning that if I want my own particular piece of heaven, it involves compromise - so either a 3-BR in Northumberland, or a 1-BR in London, but not a 3-BR in London.

It's taken me a while but I'm starting to learn that if I can't change a situation I have to change my attitude towards it - any other way brings madness. I stamped my feet and threw my toys out of the pram for quite a while in frustration at my situation but I've found that whining about my situation (to myself mainly) didn't solve anything.

I still feel like I have a lot to whine about - the cause of the current financial situation did not involve me, and when the plates fell to the ground I ended up on the wrong side of the fence, unlike some - and the love-hate UK thing is still there at times, but things are what they are. the solution to finding some sort of happiness lies in compromise.

Originally Posted by Zen10

That's the crux of it - the GFC has drastically reduced most people's options in life, and adjustment is needed. The problem you have if you have a family is that the 1 BR is not an option, so you feel like you're being kettled into an area with cheaper housing, and that often means fewer jobs. The whole thing is a nightmare and one of the main reasons keeping us in Australia. If I could move back, I think I would because I desperately want the reunite the family, but UK is not making it easy. Totally agree about compromise now.

Originally Posted by Mitzyboy

In Birmingham, which you mentioned earlier, you can get a 3 bed detached in sought after areas such as Shirley (Solihull) for £225 - £275k easily

Originally Posted by dunroving

If I were in your situation, needing a 3-BR, I'd be looking at somewhere within an hour's commute (I was in Colchester for a PhD viva last month and was surprised at the house prices, the lack of road traffic on the way back to Stansted, and the ease of rail transport to London, for example) and work on accepting the situation. Or I'd stay in Australia and accept that, until or unless the financial situation changed.

Acceptance, compromise, focussing on the positive instead of the negative - all skills I've learned in the past 7 years that are gradually leading to a happier life back in the UK. Others are probably more emotionally developed and won't take as long as I did to reach this point.

Originally Posted by sallysimmons

I am happier than I could ever say that we made this decision. Now I am going out for my morning walk - up to the moor to listen to the curlews and think about the coming day. Bliss!

If I can answer any questions, do let me know. I'm happy to help if I can.

Originally Posted by dunroving

And when the high-speed train eventually arrives*, Birmingham will be less than an hour from .... LONDON!!!!

* I hope it doesn't, but if it levels out the housing playing field for some, it may not be such a bad thing. And Sally's neck of the woods will still be a long way from all the hubbub of the Southeast.

Originally Posted by Zen10

You've given up on a US redux then? Or waiting till the GFC blows over maybe?

Originally Posted by dunroving

I always say "You never know what's round the next corner", but yes, Plan B now involves plunging every spare penny into AVCs (tax-free on the way in and largely on the way out, too) and aiming for early retirement in about 5 years (so, retiring 5 years early).

I still have opportunities come up, in fact I just heard recently about a great opportunity that will open in Tennessee next year or the year after. However, as per the earlier posts, happiness (for me at least, at my stage of life) is also about getting some stability. I can always go for a temporary academic jolly after I retire, if I want. The sums just don't add up for returning permanently to the US, plus I think a major move back to the US would do my head in... as the Forum title says, "Back Home" - it's hard to be happy when you are constantly in a state of mind that wonders "Is this it?"