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Your top tips for making new friends

Your top tips for making new friends

Old Mar 21st 2009, 3:03 pm
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Default Your top tips for making new friends

What are they?

Hubby will be fine as he's the one away all day working.

I need to get to local mother and toddler groups in Perth but what are the best ways of making new friends.
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Old Mar 21st 2009, 5:01 pm
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

I wouldnt rush out to try to make friends, many wont be real mates just users! my best advice is to settle in yourself with your family then take it slowly,, you will make mates all in good time! I will be taking my own advice 2nd time round, I met some real nice ppl,some wierdos, some ar*****s, and some selfish gits! dont think just because your in OZ everyone is on your wavelength!

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Old Mar 21st 2009, 6:16 pm
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

I would say just be positive, and do good things for others (just little things not parting the red sea or anything).

As ridiculous as it sounds, e.t. once said "beee..good.."
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Old Mar 21st 2009, 8:17 pm
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

hmmm theres friends and then theres people you meet.

I know I find it hard to make friends... meeting up with your local BE peeps is good... I find the best friends I've made have been through working. I usually keep away from neighbours at all costs.

Meeting people at a local craft group is usually fun - i dropped in to my local knit and natter and that was nice for a chat...
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Old Mar 21st 2009, 10:23 pm
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

Originally Posted by bluekipper
I wouldnt rush out to try to make friends, many wont be real mates just users! my best advice is to settle in yourself with your family then take it slowly,, you will make mates all in good time! I will be taking my own advice 2nd time round, I met some real nice ppl,some wierdos, some ar*****s, and some selfish gits! dont think just because your in OZ everyone is on your wavelength!

Bluekipper
Spot on
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Old Mar 21st 2009, 10:54 pm
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

Originally Posted by Kingseat
What are they?

Hubby will be fine as he's the one away all day working.

I need to get to local mother and toddler groups in Perth but what are the best ways of making new friends.
We found the best way was getting a dog. We met loads of really nice people (and some not so nice) and have made some great long lasting friendships.

I've heard that joining some kind of sporting club is a good way too but not being at all interested in sport I can't say that I've tried it!

If you've got kids that will be a great help.

MAX
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Old Mar 21st 2009, 11:14 pm
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

Just be yourself! I've met most friends through my daughter's Kindy but I've also made a good friend on the street in Vic Park, one in the play gym another lady in the park. It's easy to get chatting when you've got kids it's taking it to the next level that's more difficult - it sometimes feels like asking someone out saying 'can I have your number'! Just involve yourself in loads of activities ! Where are you based? I'm a stay at home mum while my OH goes into the CBD to work and it can definitely get a bit lonely - and I also find it hard because every activity does involve the kids - it's hard to make friends just for me. Don't avoid the neighbours! Another one of my good friends is the lady next door - just don't get too close too soon before you've decided they are for you - otherwise you'll never get away!!
Good luck and we can meet up if you like - I'm south of the river if that makes a difference!
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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 12:01 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

I'm quite an outgoing friendly person, not OTT and didn't think I would have any trouble making friends. But I have. All I want is to have chats with people, not be living in each others houses. I have 2 boys. One boy (8)gets invited to lots of parties and sleepovers. I see the same mums when dropping him off etc. Thought we were all getting on well etc. I handed out my phone number to them all and said to call if the kids wanted to come and play or if they wanted to come over for a coffee. In 6 months I have heard nothing! Offered to help out at the school when they were looking for voulenteers. Said I was available Mon-Friday any time. I was told i would know in a week or two. A month passed by and I heard nothing. I asked at the school and was told they had all the voulenteers they needed. I've tried chatting to people in shops and at school events. I've given up now. Started thinking there was something wrong with me! Had plenty of friends in the UK. I won't buy a dog as I'm going home in May back to my friends and family.
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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 12:38 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

Originally Posted by dickchap
I'm quite an outgoing friendly person, not OTT and didn't think I would have any trouble making friends. But I have. All I want is to have chats with people, not be living in each others houses. I have 2 boys. One boy (8)gets invited to lots of parties and sleepovers. I see the same mums when dropping him off etc. Thought we were all getting on well etc. I handed out my phone number to them all and said to call if the kids wanted to come and play or if they wanted to come over for a coffee. In 6 months I have heard nothing! Offered to help out at the school when they were looking for voulenteers. Said I was available Mon-Friday any time. I was told i would know in a week or two. A month passed by and I heard nothing. I asked at the school and was told they had all the voulenteers they needed. I've tried chatting to people in shops and at school events. I've given up now. Started thinking there was something wrong with me! Had plenty of friends in the UK. I won't buy a dog as I'm going home in May back to my friends and family.
Is that going back home for good or just a visit? My advice for anyone who is home sick or missing friends etc is fly back for a holiday. For the 1st week or so its really cool as everyone has missed you and your the centre of attention, but after 10 days or so, things calm down, people are back into their working daily routines etc, and visits, txt, phone calls all die down to virtually nothing. Friendships take years to build, not weeks or months and the harder your try the more likely you are to fail. To emigrate makes you realise what you had previously and also high lights what needs to be done for the future, its an adventure for the modern day explorer, and I love it

John
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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 2:15 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

there is lots more volunteer work than just school though, SES, WIRES, RSPCA, RDA etc etc
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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 3:21 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

I think, with kids, you will naturally meet people, and through them you will meet more people, etc. It does take some effort to follow up on vague plans, though.

I'm childless and have moved countries twice (so far!). In the first instance, we knew nobody and I went out of my way to meet people - initially on a forum similar to this one. I/we went to everything going on, met tons of people, and still class a handful as very good friends. However you do kiss a lot of frogs to meet your prince and I soon realised some of them were people I really didn't want to spend my time with (maybe they thought the same, who knows? ) and some were going to stay acquaintances, people to drink with, etc. I also met a couple I got really close to but realised I was always putting myself out for them with little in return, so backed away.

This time I have made a conscious decision to take it slowly. We knew a handful of people here already - one I have classed as a best mate since I met him in 1995, and I knew I would get along with other people he chose to be friends with. They're all lovely and have made us very welcome, invited us to parties, etc. I've met a couple of people from this forum and like them immensely (and although we don't meet up every week and our lives are quite different, I think/hope we'll meet up now and then and chat regularly anyway) but I've been very lazy about meeting more. I'm a bit of a loner these days if truth be known probably in part due to having been slightly burned in Singapore.

I've met people here through courses and nightclasses, swapped numbers with a couple and hope to meet up with them. The danger is, it's easy to sit and wait for them to call you, isn't it? Sometimes we have to make the first move and risk rejection.

In Singapore I did voluntary work and met different/local people that way.

I don't think it's much different from moving to a new town in your home country, really. If anything, it's easier as you're a novelty item - on the course I did last week everyone bombarded the token Pom with questions.
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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 4:20 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

Try different ways of meeting people. You'll meet other mums through play groups with your kids, you'll meet other women at coffee afternoons, you'll probably meet couples through your husband's work, you can join a club if you are interested something, join a volunteer organisation a couple of days a week, get a job, etc.

We've met plenty of people in our time here. Some we really liked, others were OK and others we couldn't wait to get away from. Keep in mind that it takes years to grow a full on friendship so don't get disheartened if you feel that you can't make friends right away. Acquaintences are great since sometimes they do grow into good friends, but just remember that they don't always.
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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 4:35 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

[QUOTE=homewardbound;7404923]I usually keep away from neighbours at all costs.[QUOTE]

Are you from London ... ?

That sentance optimises everything that has gone wrong with Britain in the last 20 years ... in my opinion anyhow ... which counts for 'very' little.
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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 6:44 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

Hi,

As mentioned by others make friends through your children's nursery, school etc if possible, this way you are meeting people who are in a similar set up to yourself, ie have kids and therefore can't just drop things at a minutes notice.

I've had the good fortune to be able to go to a few British Expat meets for coffee with the girls. As with anywhere else you go, there are some people you warm to immediately and some who seem to take against you. Sometimes it takes a little time, for some reason some people are almost suspicious and a little clicky and therefore reluctant to let you into their circle of friends. My feeling on it is if you are nice to everyone then if they take against you it really is there problem and not yours. This is sad when you are in a strange country and in need of friendship but try not to take it personally. There will be others you meet who you really get on with and it makes any less positive experience seem almost worth it.

We also met a couple through the get a life (don't laugh) web site. We are not particularly sporty but don't mind walking etc and met them through there. We've been out quite a few times now, cinema, eating out, walking etc. and have really got on well with them. So think about things you like to do and see if there is a club etc you can join.

Hope this helps.

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Old Mar 22nd 2009, 7:39 am
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Default Re: Your top tips for making new friends

Originally Posted by John_R
Is that going back home for good or just a visit? My advice for anyone who is home sick or missing friends etc is fly back for a holiday. For the 1st week or so its really cool as everyone has missed you and your the centre of attention, but after 10 days or so, things calm down, people are back into their working daily routines etc, and visits, txt, phone calls all die down to virtually nothing. Friendships take years to build, not weeks or months and the harder your try the more likely you are to fail. To emigrate makes you realise what you had previously and also high lights what needs to be done for the future, its an adventure for the modern day explorer, and I love it

John
Yep, going back for good. I don't like being the cente of attention. Yes, family and friends have missed us but I want my old life back. I am hoping within a couple of weeks life is back to normal. I can start living again. I do agree that it takes years to build up friendships thats why I don't want to try anymore here when I've got all the friends I need back home. I's not only the lack of friends that is making me go back.
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