janicebks

Hello all,

My OH sent me this earlier and I thought it was pretty funny (not to mention true).

Janice

* * *

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN WHEN...

You know the meaning of 'girt'

You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk

You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin

You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse

You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden

When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom

You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds

You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'

You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'

You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional

You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas'

You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep

You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'

You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place

You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin

You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'

You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread

You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis

You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'

You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'

You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year

You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'

You wear ugh boots outside the house

You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them

Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language

You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is alway polite

You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose

You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'

You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle

You biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket

You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'

You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'

When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit

You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered

You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction

When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer

You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second

You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

You will immediately forward this list to other Australian, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!

SNH

Sadly, it's all very true.

rabsody

You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'

yasmin111

This is fantastic!!!! Sadly all to true!!!!!

ice mocha

LOL at the moment, as you can imagine, i probably understood a few lines out of god knows how many up there....

And to think... I "may" one day understand them all?!?!?!?

Let's carry on waiting...........

Nu-Shooz

I'm def not an Aussie then

bcworld

LOL....so true....since I've been revising of late if being asking a few questions of Aussies...just the easy ones mind. How many times have I heard 'Edmund who??'. All but one!

knockoff nige

HEY!!

calNgary

Hi think iam nearly ready to become an aussie, didnt understand the bong one can you explain,but i do go shopping without shoes & i try to say but after every sentence do you think iam ready gary

Kalenge

How about you pronounce "mayor" as "mare"!

rabsody

Or "auction" as "ocktion".

noggin

And all u talk about is the price of bloody petrol!!!...fuel watch..ha ha

ponyrama

ha ha, "No way, get f*&$+d, *&%$ OFF!"

sunbather

Looks like I will be quite justified going to my citizenship ceremony in a couple of weeks then

tomy2tums

no way, get fracked, frack off.....