Gavin B

What do you reckon guys? I've heard No 20 is amazing...

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At last, a yardstick by which you can measure an
"Australian" For those of you who haven't met an
Australian and are not sure what one is REALLY like!

You're not Australian 'til...

1) You've mimicked Alf Stewart from the TV show Home
and Away's broad,Australian accent, eg. "push off, ya
flamin' drongo!"

2) You've had an argument with your mate over whether
Ford or Holden makes the better car!

3) You've done the "hot sand" dance at the beach while
running from the ocean back to your towel.

4) You know who Ray Martin is.

5) You start using words like "reckon" and "root" and
call people "mate".

6) You stop greeting people with "hello" and go
straight to the "how ya doin'?"

7) You've seriously considered running down the shop
in a pair of Ugg Boots.

8) You own a pair of ugg boots.

9) You've been to a day-nighter cricket match and
screamed out incomprehensibly until your throat went
raw.

10) You kind of know the first verse to the national
anthem, but don't know what "girt" means.

11) You have a story that somehow revolves around
excess consumption of alcohol and a mate named "Dave".

12) You've risked attending an outdoor music festival
on the hottest day of the year.

13) You've tried to hang off a clothesline while
pretending you can fly.

14) You've had a visit to the emergency room after
hanging off the clothesline pretending you can fly.

15) You own a pair of thongs for everyday use, and
another pair of "dress thongs" for special occasions.

16) You don't know what's in a meat pie, and you don't
care.

17) You pronounce Australia as "Stralya"

18) You call soccer soccer, not football

19) You've squeezed Vegemite through Jatz to make
little Vegemite worms.

20) You suck your coffee through a Tim Tam.

21) You realise that lifeguards are the only people
who can get away with wearing Speedos.

22) You pledge allegiance to Vegemite over Promite.
(DEFINITELY)

23) You understand the value of public holidays.

24) Your weekends are spent barracking for your
favourite sports team.

25) You have a toilet dolly.

26) Your Mum made it.

27) You've played beach cricket with a tennis ball and
a bat fashioned out of a fence post.

28) You firmly believe that in the end, everything
will be ok, and have told a mate in tough times that
"She'll be right, mate"

29) You use the phrase, "no worries" at least once a
day.

30) You've been on a beach holiday and have probably
stayed in a caravan.

31) You constantly shorten words to "brekkie", "arvo"
and "barbie"

32) You've adopted a local bar as your own.

33) You know the oath of mateship can never be limited
by geographical distance.

34) You measure a journey in beer, not kilometres or
time. (That's a 3 beer trip mate).

Don

There was a hell of a lot of 'no dramas' when I was in QLD a coupla years ago. 'Shit, my A/C has gone and it's going to cost AUD300 to repair it', 'no dramas, mate'. 'Shit, the petrol has gone up by 3c a litre' , 'no dramas, mate', 'Shit, some couple went on a diving trip but got left on the reef 80kms from Cairns and were eaten by sharks', 'no dramas, mate'.

Gavin B

Who is Ray Martin by the way?!!

Don

I think he's a singer, who remembers:

"Livin' La Vida Loca"

She's into superstitions black cats and voodoo dolls.
I feel a premonition that girl's gonna make me fall.
She's into new sensations new kicks in the candle light.
She's got a new addiction for every day and night.

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain
like a bullet to your brain. Come On!

[CHORUS:]
Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!
Livin la vida loca, Come on!
She's livin la vida loca.

Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel
She took my heart and she took my money
she must've slipped me a sleeping pill
She never drinks the water and makes you order French Champagne
Once you've had a taste of her you'll never be the same
Yeah, she'll make you go insane.

[CHORUS]

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life
but she'll take away your pain like a bullet to your brain. Come On!

[CHORUS]

tinaj

Sounds like Tracy Barlow- didn't realise he wrote the song about her!!

Don

I reckon one of our more creative members should re-write the lyrics with a 'Downunder' feel! Come on guys, we've seen you in action before...

WannabeWallaby

I think you will find that song was sung by RICKY Martin....which still begs the question, who is Ray Martin?

Wannabe Wallaby (but I'll be finding out soon enough when I get to Perth in November)

Carol in Oz

Loved that all true!

Ray Martin - well known aussie TV/media fella. Current Affairs programme that sort of thing.

Carol

Florida_03

You will also notice that nobody smokes near Ray and that there are lots of fire extinguishers all over the TV studio. Embalming fluid is very flammable.

Oh and he keeps a pouch of this under his desk. For special guests you see.