WeGottaGetOuttaThisPlace

The main issue is that we have a toddler and we are worried things like how do deal with getting a babysitter and stuff like that when you get to Australia but have no friends or family out there to help?

It's things like going to the doctor/dentist where usually my sister in law/friend/auntie here will watch my little one but we won't have anyone in Oz.

Obviously there are all the other factors in not having anyone in Austrlalia which I am sure will add to the homesickness that I know will kick in once the initial buzz of actually getting there and finding somewhere to rent etc passes.

Sorry if this sounds like a silly little post - I have millions of other bigger worries too about emigrating but I thought I would ask about this one too.

Thanks

mindblower

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Correct on both points, no support network and waves of homesickness.

galba

Well, there is nothing you can do about having family close by but you can make every effort to make friends. With a toddler it should be easier - playgroups, kindergym etc.

Babysitters are easy to find, ask neighbours, look for notices at the supermarket....check them out thoroughly of course.

Take the toddler with you, I've been to the dentist and had all 4 of mine with me, they come in and play in the corner or the older ones sit and read in the waiting room. I've found Australia to be very welcoming towards kids, it's never been a problem taking them with me to appointments.

coolshadows

If you can't manage on your own, you ain't going to get very far.

We had some friends back in the UK who were also considering emigrating, but hadn't taken into consideration that one Nan looks after the kids every weekend, and the other Nan looks after them during the week.

When I asked about how they'd managed, they said they had forgotten about the 'help', and they've not mentioned it since.

Having said that, if you are willing to make new friends, it doesn't take long to build up a network of people who are always willing to help out.

Hills Boy

So, we were in exactly the same boat. Two of us and a toddler. We moved here not knowing anyone, but whether you move around the world or even 100 miles from 'home' to a new part of you existing country it's the same deal. You will sort it out. You will make friends - if you put the effort in. Moving with a young kid means you can go to toddler groups in your area which is a simple and effective way to make new friends. If you are used to a support structure now you just have to adapt and work around the issues until you establish a network here.

HelenTD

Having no family is the single biggest issue when you migrate. Yes, you can make friends and have a support group, but the kids can miss out on feeling special to someone other than their parents.

I went everywhere with my eldest, as he was 3 before I had my second. The only place he couldn't tolerate was when I went to the dentist, so I found a dentist near my OH's workplace, so that he could look after him. Luckily he can't remember, but my pre-teen also went with me to waxing appointments and rather embarrassing procedures at the GPs. The youngest is a different story ...

WeGottaGetOuttaThisPlace

Brilliant! Glad you didn't forego your waxing just cos you didn't have a babysitter!

Thanks for the posts. I don't really know what I was expecting in the way of replies when I asked my questions. I guess I just wanted your opinions when you have already been through this.

I guess if we really wanna make it all work then we will work something out as you say. Thanks

quoll

Definitely, you have to be very self sufficient and not a little selfish to be a successful migrant. There will be occasional care centres where you can drop off a child if you are desperate to attend an appointment or there will be childcare that you pay for while you are at work. I dont see much "friend" baby sitting around here as most families are working families with no one at home during the day, or retired in which case they dont really want to be looking after someone else's kids.

Fly Away

We had no help in the UK. My family had all passed away and Oh's family lived 100 miles away. I was desperately ill when I had my daughter and on bed rest for 5 months. We got no help but we pulled through. You do just manage. Then when the toddler group stage came around we made friends with kids and things got easier. I ran my own business in the UK and frequently had to work and care for her at the same time. It can be done. Our daughter is now very practised at sitting quietly in meetings and relates very well to adults.

When we arrived here it didn't feel much different - I guess we were sort of lucky.

As another poster has said if you can't manage without help then think very carefully about a move.

Kingseat

YOu manage and you will make friends. Australia is very family friendly. I don't think I've been anywhere in Perth that I couldn't take my son with the exception of a posh restaurant that we went to one night for dinner.

Where are you heading?

LittleKittyCat

We didn't have much help in the UK either, with both families living quite a way away. The only exception to this was when our second daughter was born, mil came to stay for the night to look after our eldest. As we don't intend to have any more children, that won't be an issue again.

To be honest, as a migrant you have to be pretty self-sufficient. We don't rely on anyone for anything, and never have really, even when we lived in the UK. We have always been good at managing on our own. I make doctors appointments etc on days when hubby is off from work, so that he can have the girls (he works weekends and has weekdays off which helps). As our two are still young, we don't really go out without them in the evenings anyway, we tend to go out as a family but during the day, although we have several neighbours with teenage daughters who have offered to babysit if we need them. If there was an emergency, I am sure that I would be able to find a friend or neighbour to look after them for me. Aussies are a friendly bunch!

I think that if you tend to rely on family and friends, then you'll struggle. My oh's brother and sil, live in their parents pockets and would never cope with living away. We, on the other hand have always lived away, so it was easier for us to make the transition. Neither of us have been homesick either, although we have only been here for 15 months so I suppose that might still come. We keep in touch as frequently as we did in the UK, just from further away, so it doesn't really feel any different, if that makes sense.

Amazulu

If this is a big deal for you then don't bother emigrating - it won't work.

mandyp

Hi,
Why not make a point of doing EVERYTHING with your children now, and see how you go. We had always been self reliant before we came over here, the kiddiewinks only really got looked after to give nan n grandma a wee bit of time with them on their own. I worked nightshifts so we never needed any childcare and the kiddiewinks went wherever i did or daddy did.

When we came here, it meant that nothing was any different really. The social scene is different in that you socialise as a family so you get to go out at the weekends which is fab. I now work in the evening or a shift over the weekend so again, we 'tag team'.

We arrived here around over 2 years ago, a 15 month old and an almost 3 year old. We knew no-one and had never been here before, arrived at Brisbane airport with all our worldly belonings squeezed into 4 big bags. . .have never looked back!!

Good luck
Mandy

elice_in_oz

Indeed. I had both my boys here. Both times, nobody was around except for OH and me - obviously . My parents were visiting for number 1, but DS decided to come 2 weeks late and my parents were actually off on a cruise when he was born... They then came back for a few days and left when DS was about 7 days old.

For number 2, a good friend was on standby and looked after DS1 while i was in labour, until OH returned from hospital.

We've been doing it on our own, have made friends with and without kids, have found great babysitters (childcare workers from DS1's centre are always happy to come and watch TV and earn some extra money. It's great because they are very capable and qualified and so I feel my kids are safe with them).

All in all, it is possible, but I also have friends who would not know how to survive without the grandparents' help... I guess it depends on how good you are at juggling it all

As others have said, do think long and hard before you jump because it can be very lonely at times if you are used to having help. I always was independent so it's never really bothered me. It's a choice I made.

I will admit to taking full advantage of the grandparents when they visit though!

Shellfish

This isn't silly at all! In fact, if you have a big support network in the UK and rely heavily on others (even for things like 'company') then the move can come as a big shock. Once all is said and done, and you've found a place to live and your husband is away at work 10 hours a day, the reality sets in that this is it and everyone you know and love is very far away, it can be extremely overwhelming. I am sorry if this is a bit harsh but it true. That said, if you are sociable, and make friends easily then I think you will find Aussies to quite very friendly and accommodating.