Worried

Old Jan 9th 2009, 7:19 am
  #1  
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Default Worried

We moved out to Perth in 2005, and it's been a bit up and down in the time we have been here but a lot more up,

I turn 40 next month and been really thinking about the future and think we have made the right move and one of the main reasons we came out here was to give our son a better enviroment to grow up in, now the crunch is that when the misses and I leave this earth and hopefully go to heaven ,

he will be here on his own and will only have a distant family in the UK, the guilt is starting to get to me, and part of me thinks I should go back to England for his well being, but who is to say that is the right thing to do, now if he had a sibling it no a problem, but he's a sensitive boy and I do worry about him, and thoughts. Paul
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Old Jan 9th 2009, 7:33 am
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Default Re: Worried

How old is your son? He will one day meet a partner (well probably) and will have all the family which comes with that.
I really wouldn't worry, after all, how often do lots of people see there extended family anyway?
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Old Jan 9th 2009, 7:36 am
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Default Re: Worried

Originally Posted by rangersman2
We moved out to Perth in 2005, and it's been a bit up and down in the time we have been here but a lot more up,

I turn 40 next month and been really thinking about the future and think we have made the right move and one of the main reasons we came out here was to give our son a better enviroment to grow up in, now the crunch is that when the misses and I leave this earth and hopefully go to heaven ,

he will be here on his own and will only have a distant family in the UK, the guilt is starting to get to me, and part of me thinks I should go back to England for his well being, but who is to say that is the right thing to do, now if he had a sibling it no a problem, but he's a sensitive boy and I do worry about him, and thoughts. Paul
Sometimes we should not worry too much.

You are only 40... When you are 84, like my Dad, how old will your son be ?
 
Old Jan 9th 2009, 7:39 am
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Default Re: Worried

Originally Posted by rangersman2
We moved out to Perth in 2005, and it's been a bit up and down in the time we have been here but a lot more up,

I turn 40 next month and been really thinking about the future and think we have made the right move and one of the main reasons we came out here was to give our son a better enviroment to grow up in, now the crunch is that when the misses and I leave this earth and hopefully go to heaven ,

he will be here on his own and will only have a distant family in the UK, the guilt is starting to get to me, and part of me thinks I should go back to England for his well being, but who is to say that is the right thing to do, now if he had a sibling it no a problem, but he's a sensitive boy and I do worry about him, and thoughts. Paul

Hi Paul,

I think in the short term you should maybe consider where he would live if something (God forbid) happened to you and your wife. It would probably be a good idea to talk to your family back there and see who would be willing to look after him in those circumstances. I think this is something that all of us worry about - even those of us with more than one kid.

In the longer term, by the time he grows up he will have his own family to look after, his own set of friends etc etc and would be just fine. Also he would still have British Citizenshp and could go back at any time if he wished to, but he would also have Australian Citizenship which would mean he had the choice to return.

Don't be too hard on yourself.
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Old Jan 9th 2009, 7:54 am
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Default Re: Worried

I see where you are coming from.. we feel the same sometimes as OH is part of a huge family (he is one of 6) and sometimes we feel quite alone here and worry about the kids etc etc..

The thing is you never know how life is going to pan out.. I often think that what if we stayed with family and our children chose to move away anyway? Sometimes we worry way too much for our kids, but then again, we wouldnt be parents if we didnt..?

I don't know the answer or prob could offer any sensible advice, but I do know that it is up to my kids to decipher what they want from life.. I often think that my son will prob end up moving back to the UK whe he is older.. not sure why, prob more likely something I fear.. not having my kids in the same country (tho I left *my* parents!)..

Em x
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Old Jan 9th 2009, 8:42 am
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Default Re: Worried

Originally Posted by rangersman2
We moved out to Perth in 2005, and it's been a bit up and down in the time we have been here but a lot more up,

I turn 40 next month and been really thinking about the future and think we have made the right move and one of the main reasons we came out here was to give our son a better enviroment to grow up in, now the crunch is that when the misses and I leave this earth and hopefully go to heaven ,

he will be here on his own and will only have a distant family in the UK, the guilt is starting to get to me, and part of me thinks I should go back to England for his well being, but who is to say that is the right thing to do, now if he had a sibling it no a problem, but he's a sensitive boy and I do worry about him, and thoughts. Paul
There's no knowing when you're going to pop off though. You're happy here and your son is building his life here. If you were to die in the next year or so, family would come out and presumably take him back. If you live for another 50 years, he could be anywhere in the world and totally lacking in any sensitivity and could even not be the slightest bit interested in his parents (unlikely but shit happens).

If you think you should go back for this reason, are there more underlying reasons that are rearing their heads in your subconscious?
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