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-   -   Will this make leaving harder? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/australia-54/will-make-leaving-harder-537235/)

JenJen May 17th 2008 2:59 am

Will this make leaving harder?
 
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.

I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.

What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?

Jen

travelbug May 17th 2008 3:47 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 

Originally Posted by JenJen (Post 6362872)
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.

I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.

What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?

Jen


I've heard that it can be more upsetting if family wave/see you off at the airport. It's something i've already decided we dont want to do as i know i'd spend the whole journey in tears...:(
i think it's a personal thing though...only you can decide whether you'd regret not doing it or not...

Babsw May 17th 2008 3:52 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 

Originally Posted by JenJen (Post 6362872)
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.

I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.

What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?

Jen

we wouldn't let any one come, we thought it would be hard enough with all the luggage and last minute panics without crying relatives making it worse and piling guilt on top of all the other feelings.It just depends on how you think you will feel. We knew we did the right thing for us but that doesn't mean that it would be for you.:confused: sorry, that doesn't sound much help when I read it back.:huh:

JenJen May 17th 2008 5:13 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 

Originally Posted by Babsw (Post 6362992)
we wouldn't let any one come, we thought it would be hard enough with all the luggage and last minute panics without crying relatives making it worse and piling guilt on top of all the other feelings.It just depends on how you think you will feel. We knew we did the right thing for us but that doesn't mean that it would be for you.:confused: sorry, that doesn't sound much help when I read it back.:huh:

I can't work it out in my head at the moment, bit late now apparently as mums husband has booked that day off to drive mum down so they can say goodbye, seems like a lot of hassle to me but hey ho.
I have a good relationship with them, I know i'd struggle to not breakdown if it was dad but I really don't know how I feel at the moment.

Starlite May 17th 2008 8:32 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
I am glad some one brought this thread up as i am undecided too. My 17 year old son isn't coming to Australia with us, he will be living with my parents, and although i feel it is important to say goodbye to him at the airport before i go, i also feel that it may be worse as i know i will break down in tears and feel guilty about going :(

mixed feelings about this

Starlite

jaca May 17th 2008 8:40 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
I am also struggling with this one...can't even bare to think about saying goodbye to my mum it brings me lose to tears..& i am an adult with 2 kids not some wee girly on her first adventure....We will also have to rehome our cat & find a foster home for our golden retriever for a few months....& I keep putting my head in the sand...gonna have to make the decisions soon but don't want to face it :(
even been wondering why I'm going...even though I've been dreaming of it for years :(
Jacq:wub:

asher May 17th 2008 8:43 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
I think sobbing goodbyes at the airport are not the kind of memories you want to give your children, If you and the relatives are gonna cry then give yourself some time before the flight for the kids to calm down, a distraught child on a long aeroplane journey is not a good start to your new life IMHO ;)

username 34 May 17th 2008 9:00 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
definately wouldnt ... and we didnt. Trust me, its hard enough with your kids and the luggage and the emotions just getting through the airport scenario without public goodbyes in a rushed stressed atmosphere like the terminal.

Its so much easier and better for everyone to do the goobyes at home, take as long as you need over it, settle down for the trip to the airport and destress as much as you can on the drive there. Then you can concentrate on getting through the process and be excited instead of wailing with tears through the security gates.

Its a lovely gesture from your parents - but trust me on this, its not the best thing to do.

Mrs Jackaroo May 17th 2008 9:14 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 

Originally Posted by asher (Post 6363634)
I think sobbing goodbyes at the airport are not the kind of memories you want to give your children, If you and the relatives are gonna cry then give yourself some time before the flight for the kids to calm down, a distraught child on a long aeroplane journey is not a good start to your new life IMHO ;)

Completely agree. I would have hated my daughter to see her family upset at the airport. She would have felt guilty I'm sure and it would have made her settling that much harder. As it is she has only good memories of them and didn't get to see any of the tears. Likewise when my mum came to visit us in Oz - hubby took her to the airport while I took my daughter horse riding (more because I couldn't cope with the goodbye myself if I'm honest but it was good for her to not see it too!!)

In short....there was no way we were allowing anyone at the airport!

mandyp May 17th 2008 9:28 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
Hi, would agree with whats been said. We had decided not to have anyone at the airport as we have 2 wee ones, too young to understand. We didn't want to have loads of crying n emotions at the airport. Took close family out for a meal the night before and said our goodbyes then. Also made up 'goodie' bags for them all with personal stuff, photos n all our copies of the Australia and New Zealand mag!!

Really glad we did it this way! Meant we headed home a bit emotional, but woke up the next morning to start out new life afresh!

Godd luck with whatever anyone decides!

Mandy

Stitch May 17th 2008 10:45 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 

Originally Posted by JenJen (Post 6362872)
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.

I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.

What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?

Jen


All my family came and it was such a hard thing to do but it's what they wanted. I couldn't really say no you can't come. I'm glad I did it (2 years on).

Cheers

Ginny

Ozzy dog May 17th 2008 11:25 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
Look this really is an individual thing, we had decided not to go for the goodbye at the airport thing. However, hubbies mum decided that nothing was going to stop her (she made this quite clear to me) so I asked my family for support really. It was painful, emotional and there were many tears. Again as ginny said (over 3 years on) I'm glad. We were snagged for a complete luggage check by security when we checked in. So 10 cases and 5 cabin cases had to be searched in a room with us present. It took ages!!!!!:frown: So our good bye time was cut considerably.

We all got upset, but in hindsight I couldn't have put the kids (15,17 &21) through going round saying good bye to everyone - it would have been exhausting. So......... to do it in one hit did help.

Emotions and leaving is painful, maybe actually getting in touch like this does help some. Its not wrong to model to our children that goodbyes are emotional etc. and that you do get through it.

Just my thoughts, good luck what ever you decided is ok. Also a thought for your mum, it may be very important for her to 'see you off'????

Tracey x

ljj May 17th 2008 11:55 am

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
It's very personal decision, and we didn't.

The night before we flew we stayed at hubby's parents house and I remember his Mum almost collapsing into his dad's arms as the taxi we were in pulled away from the house at 5 in the morning. The kids didn't see that but if we had been at the airport they would have. We had a rather heated discussion the night before when she said we couldn't stop her coming and saying goodbye and they'd follow in a taxi. My F-I-L obviously talked her out of it during the night (and she had had a few gins!)

We were very insistent that nobody came with us and 5 years on I would do it the same way again.

When we got to the airport me and my then 7 year old daughter were queuing in the toilets when a lady turned to my daughter and said "Where are you going on holiday?" to which she replied "I'm not going on holiday, We're emigrating to Australia" 3 different sets of people turned round and said we are too and one lady said "I've just said goodbye to my dad" and she started crying which of course set us all off (but kind of discreetly sniffly crying) If my parents had been there I would have been a mess and I needed to be really really strong for my kids. So I suppose it depends if you think you can handle it really.

LJJ

Hutch May 17th 2008 1:15 pm

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 
Airports - particularly hellish ones like Heathrow are a nightmare at the best of times. So many people pushing through, noise, tacky over-priced cafes and pubs - how is that ever going to be a good place to say cheerio to your friends and family? :thumbdown:

quoll May 17th 2008 2:26 pm

Re: Will this make leaving harder?
 

Originally Posted by Hutch (Post 6364041)
Airports - particularly hellish ones like Heathrow are a nightmare at the best of times. So many people pushing through, noise, tacky over-priced cafes and pubs - how is that ever going to be a good place to say cheerio to your friends and family? :thumbdown:

Absolutely - if you can find a cafe in the barn that is terminal 4 (well there is one but not exactly salubrious!) Say goodbye in a nicer place unless you are sure they aren't going to be a quivering mess and are really just going because they want to see the planes take off.


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