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Why we moved to Oz & why we may go back to the uk!

Why we moved to Oz & why we may go back to the uk!

Old Jun 14th 2003, 10:46 am
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Default Why we moved to Oz & why we may go back to the uk!

Hi,

Our first visit to Australia was in 1990 when we first got married, we stayed for 3 months and toured around the cities, we feel in love with OZ.
We returned to the uk and had two children, hubby came again to oz to visit his brother who lives in Adelaide on his return he was excited and that got the ball rolling we applied with his brother sponcering us, we were granted our visa, at that time our children were 4 & 5, we put our house on the market e.t.c but huddys dad became very ill, so it was put off, Hubby went over with a mate (who met a ozzie girl and has since moved to Adelaide) to get his passport validated.
Life continued in the uk we had a house built, great jobs, great pay but always in the back of ours minds was Australia (more for my husband).
After hubbys father died we booked a trip for 1 month to Adelaide to stay with his brother, we took the kids and hubbys mother, had a great time and met up with the friend who he came over with, after staying with them listening to them, how wonderful everything was, we were hooked.
We returned to the uk and hubby sponcered me and the kids we were accepted and put everything up for sale.
November 2002 we got the chance for a all expensives paid trip to oz with channel 4 "A place in the sun" (hasn't be on TV yet), I had to get my visa validated so this was a good chance as we had not sold the house, so we left the kids for 2 weeks with mother-in-law and came to Coffs harbour which is a beautiful place.
Returned to the uk, house sold and arrived over here in March, hubby got a great paid job within 2 weeks, kids started school,
we were amazed of all the prices of thing, nobody told us about the little extras e.g stamp duty on cars e.t.c
Since getting here hubbys mate is returning to the uk (so much for all his praise).

Hubby and youngest son nearly drowned two weeks ago and this has put our views on what we want, and I dont want to die here, when we came over we said we would give it 5 years but what if we want to go back and our kids don't, little things matter we can't point out things to our kid's like "that was where I went to school".
I am not missing family and would be happy to stay, but hubby is miserable and really missing everything and what makes it worst is that his boss keeps phoning to say he can have his job back but the longer he leaves it the less chance, he is flying to Adelaide on 8th June to visit his brother for a week and we will decide what to do. We are going to Hunter valley for a week or so as he has had lots of job offers, so we will check it out.
Anyway we still don't know what to do !!!
Sue
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Old Jun 14th 2003, 2:16 pm
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Why dont you all come back to the UK with your husband for a visit, I think you may have already decided what you want to do but maybe coming back to the UK may make you think and your decision easier, at the ages your children are at the moment its not so hard to move around, as you said in another 5/10 years it will be. You have a hard decision to make but once you make it you can move on then its the should we / shouldn't we thats the hardest. Good luck in whatever you decide and glad to here that your boys o.k., accidents do happen the world over but I think at the moment you just feel a bit down and blame the move and if we hadn't moved over here etc it wouldnt have happened but you know that in life S--t happens sometimes.
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Old Jun 15th 2003, 2:06 am
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Sorry to hear its still not working out. So many cases of one spouse loving it, one not, same goes for kids too.

About the drowning you mentioned it a couple of times, was it at the beach? They look so inviting but thousands every year get caught out not realising that only the patrolled areas are safe to swim in. If that was your mistake dont dwell on it, my kids used to do Beach Patrol and rescued hundreds every year, it is a very common here to not realise that hundreds of klm of beach only provides a few hundred metres of safe swimming. Testimony to this is our border collie who ended up washed on the beach 2klm from where he went in, Fortunately he shook off and was fine. One friend of ours is still trying to live down being rescued by a helicopter off Alex Headland when 24 people got swept out even tho they were in the patrolled bit. Just be glad your family are safe.

Anyway whatever you decide all the best with it.
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Old Jun 15th 2003, 3:51 am
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Your story is very similar to ours. We first travelled to Australia in 1991 after getting married, we spent 2 months travelling the cities. We returned back to the UK and had 2 children, we had a lovely house, good jobs, schools etc. There was no real need to move to Australia as we had a great lifestyle BUT we always loved travelling and Australia was always in the back of our minds. After my husband's work colleague made the move to Perth we decided to visit him and look into applying to see if we were eligible etc. Our 2 small, lively children loved the outdoor lifestyle and we thought why not make the move for a few years whilst the children are small - the ball started rolling!

We applied in 2001 and after 18 months we moved to Perth, we've been here 1 year now, my husband has a great job, good pay for this area, I can see good / bad points for both Australia and UK - I love both countries. There have been some surprises, like you said stamp duty on cars, trailers, school costs, there is always a bill to be paid!

We plan to stay for another year or so as our children are still young, we will return to the UK eventually as my husband has been offered his old job back and we want a UK education for our children. I love Australia and I can see us coming back - who knows what the future may bring?

It's a tough decision for you, especially after such a traumatic experience, but I found the first year is the worst, settling down etc. Good luck to you all.
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Old Jun 15th 2003, 11:04 am
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Default Re: Why we moved to Oz & why we may go back to the uk!

Originally posted by sue5665
Hi,

Our first visit to Australia was in 1990 when we first got married, we stayed for 3 months and toured around the cities, we feel in love with OZ.
We returned to the uk and had two children, hubby came again to oz to visit his brother who lives in Adelaide on his return he was excited and that got the ball rolling we applied with his brother sponcering us, we were granted our visa, at that time our children were 4 & 5, we put our house on the market e.t.c but huddys dad became very ill, so it was put off, Hubby went over with a mate (who met a ozzie girl and has since moved to Adelaide) to get his passport validated.
Life continued in the uk we had a house built, great jobs, great pay but always in the back of ours minds was Australia (more for my husband).
After hubbys father died we booked a trip for 1 month to Adelaide to stay with his brother, we took the kids and hubbys mother, had a great time and met up with the friend who he came over with, after staying with them listening to them, how wonderful everything was, we were hooked.
We returned to the uk and hubby sponcered me and the kids we were accepted and put everything up for sale.
November 2002 we got the chance for a all expensives paid trip to oz with channel 4 "A place in the sun" (hasn't be on TV yet), I had to get my visa validated so this was a good chance as we had not sold the house, so we left the kids for 2 weeks with mother-in-law and came to Coffs harbour which is a beautiful place.
Returned to the uk, house sold and arrived over here in March, hubby got a great paid job within 2 weeks, kids started school,
we were amazed of all the prices of thing, nobody told us about the little extras e.g stamp duty on cars e.t.c
Since getting here hubbys mate is returning to the uk (so much for all his praise).

Hubby and youngest son nearly drowned two weeks ago and this has put our views on what we want, and I dont want to die here, when we came over we said we would give it 5 years but what if we want to go back and our kids don't, little things matter we can't point out things to our kid's like "that was where I went to school".
I am not missing family and would be happy to stay, but hubby is miserable and really missing everything and what makes it worst is that his boss keeps phoning to say he can have his job back but the longer he leaves it the less chance, he is flying to Adelaide on 8th June to visit his brother for a week and we will decide what to do. We are going to Hunter valley for a week or so as he has had lots of job offers, so we will check it out.
Anyway we still don't know what to do !!!
Sue
Hi Sue
Sorry to here all is not well. I really think you should give it a fair crack of the whip and in my oppinion 2 years sounds reasonable. I think we all go thorough the stage of feeling home sick and even more so at the moment cause it,s winter dark nights etc.
We have been here 8 months now and i haven't really been that home sick. If anything it's the social side of England i miss, but we are getting into the Aussie way of doing things. We have an 11 year old son so when we moved me and hubby said if either of us want to come back we have to wait at leased 5 years until our son finishes school, but to be honest at the moment i can't see us ever going back for good only holidays.
I really do hope you get over your home sickness and start to settle soon. Keep your chin up.
Debbie Jo
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 8:49 am
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It's good to know I'm not the only one who misses things.I like to call it the Curse of the Ex-pat.The English are the only nation I know of in Oz who do not band together and keep a common bond.why is that?The Italians,Greeks,Croats etc all have their social clubs but the English...? I think it's got to do with the holiday thing we're brought up with...last thing you want to do when you go abroad is meet the English..!I have heard many stories of people moving to Oz and going back as they miss mushy peas, the pub and the way we communicate.Australia is very inviting but we have to realise it is a foreign country...just listen to talk back radio..!
Fact is, you have to be happy where ever you are.Are you happy ?
I treat myself each 18 months to a trip back home, summer one time, christmas the next and for me, once I caught up with the family and friends. I'm ready to come back home.I came here originally as I met an australian girl in the Uk, but I lost her to a drink driver.I have no other ties here, her parents don't want to know me as it reminds them of their heartache.That's ok.All my family and friends are in the Uk and i miss them terribly but my heart says this is now my chosen place to live.Once you have permanent residency or citizenship it doesn't really matter how many times you come and go.If your anything like me you have to make a move to know whether it's right or not.Who cares..! stay go back, come back whatever.A friend of mine was brought up in a tent on a motercycle by his parents who couldn't settle anywhere..she turned out just fine.So will your kids.Education is a means to an end and as you know there isn't the same pressure here as in the UK to succeed or die !
I guess the moral of the story is be happy where you are, if you're not happy try something different.If then you are not happy, come back to Oz and try melbourne !!!
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 9:30 am
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""we were amazed of all the prices of thing, nobody told us about the little extras e.g stamp duty on cars e.t.c""


Sue

I would be interested to know how long it has been since you have been back to the UK??

We have so many "stealth taxes" over here now you just would'nt believe it!! How much is petrol over there, do you pay GST on insurance, are you paying congestion charges for driving in cities. Is Australia being taken over buy bungling European Union bureaucrats Is the area you live in being swamped with asylum seekers etc etc not to even mention the weather!!

I agree with the other post, come back to the UK for a holiday, do it in the winter, maybe at Christmas. Just getting of the plane into the freezing cold will be enough to put you off.

Hope you make the right decision

Pete



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Old Jun 17th 2003, 2:02 pm
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Yep i also know how you all feel , Buttonmoon sorry for your loss i felt sad after reading that , but im glad you have got on with life. We miss home the Uk and family alike , and i never thought i would say that i missed England. Its alot of things you miss , silly things , but they all mount up sometimes and it makes you think of home. Do miss parents and brother and everyone actually . We are like you though Button moon , we love Australia but we also love England , we like to travel and do new things , and we find it hard to settle down . We want to travel more , but we have to give the kids some stability as they are nearly 11 and 13 . But we will keep going for as long as we can. Someone else said oh you must try and do 2 or 5 years , for some its not that easy to do , and they will have to go home. If i was so unhappy i'd be buggered if id stop for another 2 yrs you have to do whats in your heart , and what you all as a family want to do. Hope it all goes well for all of you
Joanne and Paul
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 3:37 pm
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by jopaulss
If i was so unhappy i'd be buggered if id stop for another 2 yrs you have to do whats in your heart , and what you all as a family want to do.

I completely agree with you Joanne, Sue you have to do what is in your own hearts and what feels right for you. As you all know we came back and my heart tells me that for us it was the right thing to do.

We have some friends arriving back on Monday, half of them want to stay in Oz the others want to return back to the UK so they have packed up and put everything into storage in Oz, the dogs are in kennels and they have booked return tickets to Oz with dates that can be changed up to a year. They intend coming back and if they decide that Oz is the place they all want to be then they will have an 8 week holiday and head back if not they will phone the shippers and get their belongings on the ship and the dogs flown back. They have decided that for them they need to return to the Uk to see how they honestly feel about the place. I hope that when they get here that they will all know one way or the other.

Good luck with whatever you decide, I know it is not an easy decision especially when you have put so much into it and thought about it for so long but at the end of the day only you all can decide what is best for you.

Susan
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 8:22 pm
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Moved here 3 years ago to Sydney.

Have no interest in moving back to the UK.

Secret, live like a local. Do'nt hanker or compare to the "good/Bad ole life back in the UK" Dont only hang around with other expats. dont try to live the same way you lived in the UK.

IF you want to live in Austrlai like you did in the UK, go back.
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 9:51 pm
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Sorry to hear about the bad experience on the beach - however just as comparison my brother`s wife and 18 month old son had a lucky escape today when a lorry pulled into their lane on the M6 (they ended up facing the wrong way on the hard shoulder). Where ever you live there are different hazards and luckily no-one was injured in either of these 2 accidents.
I`m sure you`ll settle where ever you are - Oz or back to the UK which ever you choose. Good luck.

Jacko
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 10:24 pm
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Originally posted by lx470
Moved here 3 years ago to Sydney.

Have no interest in moving back to the UK.

Secret, live like a local. Do'nt hanker or compare to the "good/Bad ole life back in the UK" Dont only hang around with other expats. dont try to live the same way you lived in the UK.

IF you want to live in Austrlai like you did in the UK, go back.
This is very wise advice. Oz will never be the UK and it is best to not compare the two if you can. Trouble is, every now and again you are reminded of your origins (by your own mind or by others) and so you cannot make a "transition" as such. There are more things that the UK has that Oz does not have than the other way round and so you are best to settle for less when you get there.
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 10:53 pm
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Originally posted by Wilf
This is very wise advice. Oz will never be the UK and it is best to not compare the two if you can. Trouble is, every now and again you are reminded of your origins (by your own mind or by others) and so you cannot make a "transition" as such. There are more things that the UK has that Oz does not have than the other way round and so you are best to settle for less when you get there.
This is true, I love Australia, but there is more to experience in the UK. I personnally believe that this experiencing of things is the substance of life.

The things vary from person to person but you know when they're not there.
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Old Jun 17th 2003, 11:12 pm
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Originally posted by Florida_03
This is true, I love Australia, but there is more to experience in the UK. I personnally believe that this experiencing of things is the substance of life.

The things vary from person to person but you know when they're not there.
You are an unusually thoughtful person. You must be amongst the most open-minded people I have come across. You impress me, especially in your being prepared to hear things said against Oz without prejudice. It is a shame that Oz will lose such a person.
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Old Jun 24th 2003, 1:58 am
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Sue,

I'm really sorry to hear what happened to your son and husband. It's such a shame that you have had a traumatic experience while you're still so new to Oz.

Try to think practically though and consider the reasons why you moved before jumping ship. If your quality of life/standard of living/opportunities or whatever were better in Britain you probably wouldn't have moved in the first place. Those things will remain better in Oz - it's only your attitude that has changed.

If however, you weren't actually unhappy with your lot in Britain (don't kid yourself here) then missing people there will probably tip the scales in favour of returning and you probably shouldn't have emigrated in the first place. If you do return, try to remember your Oz experience as an unusual holiday with a lucky escape that reminded you how special your loved ones are.

I'm Aussie, hubbie's English. We've lived in Sydney before 10 years ago and went back to Britain because we missed the London buzz and nightlife. Now we're off to Melbourne.

Now we have kids the London buzz is more of an annoying howl and clubbing is not an option. Plus the schools are useless, food's expensive, council tax high, pensions in crisis and NHS a disaster. These things matter to us now we have kids more than some nebulous 'feel' of a place. Most of our friends and neighbours are leaving the UK or at least London too. It's going to be unsettling for us (we love London!) and there'll be lots of tears probably but Australia is a lovely place with lots to offer. It'll never be Britain but Britain will never be Oz either!

Best wishes whatever you do.
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