Buzzy--Bee

Sorry to hear that Col - feel free to ping me for a beer one night if you want.

BB

flanagaj

I get the impression that a great many on this forum are just out to judge. Given none of you understand my circumstances or motivations for wanting to go then I am rather disappointed.

Please don't make any further posts regarding my question as I won't be reading them.

Thanks

BASHO

x 2

moneypenny20

You asked for advice/opinions. You gave some information but obviously not everything, you'd still be typing . We can only go by what you've written and make comments. You don't like them, that's fine but if those comments clear anything in your head then everyone had done you a service. If you had wanted particular comments, you should have said so. Anyway, you won't be reading this so I've probably wasted my time.

erfanonline

Those two may be thinking that you are the one who don't share their common passion!

Have you lived there for long time? You are only thinking about the things you like. Have you thought about the day to day works you will have to do for living in Perth? Are you sure you won't get bored with everything you mentioned? After 5 years?


Your situation is nothing so complicated. People are living with more complications in all countries. I am not sure how much you have discussed with your family about the issue. Have you always started with a tone like "We need to move to Australia because I love it there"? If so, you should try "Lets discuss on moving to Australia and see whether it is worth or not"

Anyways, I would like to give you some suggestions (based on the fact that I had to make a number of curicial choces in my life already, life is not always fair)

1. Discuss again with your family in friendly tone. Try to make them understand about your passion and give them words that you will consider returning to UK if things do not go along in Perth (and be honest in your heart with the promise, do not make a false promise)

2. May be come to a decision (combined decision by discussion) to give it a try, for two years. Or, if they agree, for four years. In four years, you can obtain citizenship of Autralia, which will not expire. So, if you return to UK after getting Australian passport, you can return when you retire in UK and live the rest of your life in your dream city.

3. Make a three months holiday in Perth (in most suitable season) so that they can experience and rethink about living there.

4. If nothing works, why don't you spend few months holiday (may be alone) in Perth every year? You can always get a tourist visa.


Leaving family will not be a good decision. You will surely going to miss them, may be 5 years after you leave them. Then, there will be no going back.

By the way, if you think things are too complicated and is causing you much mental pressure, please consider visiting a counselor, it really helps releaving stress.

aussietobe

My honest opinion is it sounds like you are in a unhappy place/time right now, not feeling overly enamoured of your wife/child and are dreaming of a fantasy life somewhere warm. You might need to go and see a counsellor/ psychologist and get to the bottom of your feelings. If your marriage is over then you need to use your visa, but you will be forgoing a close relationship with your daughter...if your marriage is sound you might have to just get over the dream of Oz and make the most of what UK has to offer and go on as many windsurfing holidays as you can.

aussietobe

This is an overly pessimistic view of Perth weather...overall it is fantastic and when it is hot is
usually only for a few days and the nights are lovely...

spouse of scouse

It's really one of those things that depends on the person, some love the weather, some hate it. I used to love the long, hot summers when I was a kid - now that I'm (so much!) older I dread summer coming!

eddie007

But you grew up here... Some of us who weren't so lucky can't understand that at all....

But then people never appreciate what they have.... I didn't miss the green of spring in the uk and the crisp frosts of autumn till I came here....

BUT I STILL LOVE THE WEATHER IN PERF

spouse of scouse

I think you're spot on eddie. Although I'm a 'winter person' I'll no doubt miss the sun a bit when we move to the UK.

I'm glad you enjoy the Perf weather, it'd be a bugger if you didn't

not2old

maybe not, but most all of the posters are immigrants (from all walks of life living in different countries not just OZ) & from those immigrants you are getting responses (read between the lines) of their own personal experiences or those of their parents that dragged them to OZ when they were children.

Of course you'd like a response that your wife should should knuckle under, agree totally with you wanting to go to OZ and without question should say 'yes dear-I'll come along do as you say'. Well unfortunately this is not the 30's, 40's, or the post war 10 quid emigrate times. This is the modern day world where partners have an equal say. When you are in that partnership, it takes the two of you to make it work - it can never be one sided IMO.

I'm wondering if you have shown this thread to your wife?

There are Brits that have emigrated then gone back home for whatever reason, ranging from homesickness, loss of jobs, loss of a spouse, an elderly parent, divorce/separation or having spent 10, 20, 30 years in away just want to go back.

Maybe you need to go back to your small corner of the world and sulk or being frustrated or keep on telling yourself 'folks don't understand my situation' & that you cannot resolve the 10 year in the making wanting to emigrate.

If you thought that by asking a group of strangers for a quick easy answer would fix everything for you - then you are mistaken.

It is your problem to fix - go fix it

jambo72

I can understand the OP's dilemma.

My visa runs out in 2017 and everyday I worry myself sick that I will miss the chance to go back.

The problem with me is that my partner has children from her previous marriage. 2 boys aged 20 and 18 and one girl aged 13.

We have our own daughter who is just 4 months.

My partners father and young sister live in Brisbane so there are family ties other than myself.

However her ex is very controlling and a very difficult man. He has already threatened to go to the police if we even take his daughter to Oz on holiday.

I do have a lot of sympathy with him and its the main reason we are waiting until the girl is 16 so she can make her own mind up.

I know he will dictate her decision at the time and she will stay.

Ethically I am really struggling with this, however I miss Oz so so much and I also want to be able to give my own daughter the opportunity. Once its gone, its gone forever.

I also dont want to split up her family, however the moment they separated this was always something that could happen.

I really dont want to regret not going (if that what we decide) for the rest of my life either.

Tramps_mate

If already separated its more understandable, but actually leaving your wife and child to move because you want to is staggering..

Tramps_mate

You act quite childish for a supposed adult.

ozzieeagle

Just seems that way to you, on the information he has given on here.... Which is invariably almost impossible to get across properly.

This thread is a classic example of why I feel very strongly, that for most people airing your very personal issues on a public internet forum is generally a bad idea.

I've seen this T'Net gang mentality for over 18 years now, and I shake my head at peoples reaction sometimes.

Stick to talking to people that actually know you Flangaj, you'll get a much better hearing.